those kind of days

this week has been that kind of week. the up at night, tossing and turning kind of week. the i wish i could go sit in a dark room alone and sob kind of week. the kind of week where i just want to toss the towel into the ring and say "that's it, i've had it."
running a business is hard. being a mom and running said business is even harder. i shed a lot of tears due to mom guilt, but also due to client frustration. it seems while luci is at her most challenging and demanding, so are all of my clients.
it's really tough.
then, i read a blog like THIS and it really helps me. a lot. she writes:

I have to remind myself that the choices we make now as parents aren't just to get our children through the days. It's to get them through their lives.

being a mom means a lot of things, and i know it will never be easy. every day is important, but i need to look at the big picture more often too. and a little validation along the way doesn't hurt either.

a playdate

grandma jane took luci to an indoor play area today with her friend kathy and a little girl kathy babysits for, cassie.
below are some pix of her having fun.




and after playing hard, here's a little ragamuffin enjoying some cheese pizza!

sickness creates little maniacs

lucia is finally back to her old self. her ears have cleared up, her appetite is back, she's sleeping great and she's been taking some healthy poops. all of these improvements are a huge relief to trav and i. she has however developed a few naughty behaviors we're going to be working to correct for at least the next week.
oh you know, things like refusing to sit for dinner, wanting to be held every second (and that's while standing, if you sit, she goes berserk), wanting her paci/gigi outside of her bed (not going to happen here even though i know it happened at grandma and poppy's!), and being defiant and saying "no!" when i want her to do something.
they say it takes the duration of the sickness or longer to re-implement positive behavior. we're working on it.

chi town baby

trav and i had an awesome weekend in chicago while miss lucia stayed with grandma and poppy. you know i always have a lot of guilt when we leave her, but i know it's good for us too.
we hung with friends at busie's housewarming, walked the town, attended a cocktail party for a client and ate really delish food! we were also able to sleep in until 8 am! (trav could have slept later but i can't, so that means everyone's up!) we really needed the rest, relaxation and time away as a couple. i mean, who couldn't use that?!
of course, i missed my little sweetheart and was so happy to see her.
because the weather was so nice, we put her new rainboots on and splashed around in puddles.



and when we had enough, we came inside but kept the boots on!


oh my little sweetheart, how i missed and love you so!

poor little one

luci's fever seemed to have broken on tuesday and she had a pretty good night tuesday night, so we thought she was on the mend and off to grandma jane's she went. around noon trav called me to tell me her ear was leaking wax/puss (i am grossed out just typing that so i apologize) and he was going to bring her home right after nap for an appointment.
thankfully i got her in around 4 and the doc confirmed she had a ruptured eardrum and infection. :( she didn't seem bothered by it so the doc said it could have just been giving her a lot of pressure and it was a relief when the stuff started coming out.
we got a prescription for her ears and an oral antibiotic (that even with insurance almost sent us to the poor house; don't even get me started on my disgust over that) and went on our way.
our night was a bit better last night and while she still awoke at 5 (thankfully i got her back down until 620) she seems to be doing much better today.

evident by her refusal to wear pants for stephanie to showcase her lovely leg decor!

calvin klein

this is rather ridiculous, but if you follow this blog, you are aware of luci's love of the human body.
lately she likes reading magazines with me, and normally we thumb through parents and point at kids and animals galore.
well, rolling stone is a whole new ball game for her.
when she opened the first page, she discovered the male body.

guess my kid already knows the meaning of "eye candy."

pukes and fevers

oh, poor little luci had her first case of the pukes on sunday.
after a big day with friends saturday (2 play dates!), she finally got what every one in our circle has had.
the 24 hour bug.
she woke up on sunday and we'd discovered puke in her bed. i lifted her out and she had to go more so i hoisted her over my shoulder and she puked right into the sink. i was so proud of her. she didn't seem scared or affected by it at all.
for the rest of the day we held her and cuddled her and let her watch tv. i think she really loved that part.

we also let her eat in our laps and hold her blanki outside of her bed.
since it's carried on over to today (poor baby was burning up most of the day), she got the same treatment from her jidu. she took more advantage of him and made him carry her around all day long (rather than sit). he also sat in her room for nearly 2 hours, rocking her, and sitting in the chair while she laid and dozed. when he tried to leave, she would cry cry cry so of course he didn't try again. she just needed someone there.
poor little tiny. i loved holding her so much, but not under those circumstances.
not to mention, it's going to take about a week to turn her back into a civilized little person instead of the tv watching, waffle eating on the couch, pedialyte drinking wild animal she's become!

new friends

luci and i had a really fun visit on saturday. my friend amy brought her new baby over, 6 week old gabe. he's her second, and she left 2.5 year old logan at home. we were bummed because luci loves logi, but mama needed a break so i understood.
luci is so great with babies and once again took to gabe so sweetly.
when we laid a blanket down for gabe, she had to lay right next to him.

luci loves little gabe.

luci's big day out

today marked the first day of luci's new adventures in babysitting.
our babysitter stephanie recently had to give up her fridays. she gave me a couple week's notice, but i initially panicked. what was i going to do? would i find another student? would i put her in daycare one day a week?
after calling local centers, consensus was they had a minimum of two days a week. we didn't need that. hmmmm... just as i was about to put my feelers out there, i was telling my friend maggie #2 my predicament and she said "hey i'll watch her, pay me!" and just like that, our problem was solved.
maggie's a stay at home mama just around the corner. literally. she has ginger who's 3.5 and miles who's exactly lu's age. i knew it was going to be perfect.
i'd been a little concerned about lu's play. not because of her, but because i thought she needed more kid action. our play dates are limited to weekends and thursday library hour. we do a music class on tuesday nights too, but man i've been having some play date envy. she loves playing with other kids and i wanted to give her more of that.
problem solved.
i loaded her up in her sled this morning and walked to maggie's. she was embraced immediately and after hanging for about a half an hour with maggie, i left her sitting in ginger's bed with ging, reading books and smiling.
when i went to pick her up to bring her back here for nap (just easier that way for now) she barely acknowledged me other than by showing off her new found friday fun date.
she made a snowman craft, ate the best lunch out of all the kids, watched while ginger, miles and cousin sam wrested (dainty like her mom i say! lol) danced and sang.
i know this pic doesn't do it justice, but here she is having a blast at lunch. i refrained from texting maggie to ask how she was until noon and this what i received.

and when i brought her home, she was happily exhausted and wanted some "cheek to cheek" as we call it. i think she missed her mommy(well actually i think it's the other way around). when she's winding down, we do our cheek to cheek singing and it puts her right at ease.

i love having that sweet, soft cheek on my face.
and hurray for friends and babysitters that put ME at ease!

ordinary days can be extraordinary

trav just sent me this picture of our daughter wearing a veil at grandma's house.
*aunt mary- this is your veil i've been told!!!



can you believe that one day that our girl will really be someone's bride? it really seems so unimaginable. like being a wife used to. or being a mom. or just simple growing up. and look, it's happened. it all does.

then i read this quote today and it really made me happy.

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."

i think with every ordinary day, it's nice to know how good life is. i am happy for everything i have in this life. it's the little things, like seeing your little tiny wearing a wedding veil with the promise, and the mixed happy sadness that comes with thoughts of the future, that make every day special.