i can't believe i didn't post this earlier! on monday, mal stayed after her daily babysitting shift for dinner. we took lu upstairs after dinner to change her and since mal was "off the clock" i gladly took over. it was a messy one and when i was getting her cleaned up mallori said "you have a booger hanging from your nose!" we cracked up and i wiped it off with my hand and then naturally i looked at it. well, it wasn't a booger. somehow, some of lu's mustard poop got on the tip of my nose and was dangling for the world to see. thank god mallori noticed cuz who knows how long it would have stayed there. i so rarely look in a mirror anymore!
i swear i am totally trying to keep up with my appearance. i take a shower and do my hair and make up (what little i wear) every day. in fact, i just spent an exuberant amount on my hair to get it cut (short and i got bangs) and colored (dark brown for the fall/winter) only to be told by trav i had "mom hair." sweet!
i'm working out to "get my body back" (which is a super annoying term by the way) and no matter what celebs say, IT'S REALLY HARD. hard as hell to lose the weight (post baby or not), but also hard to steal away time to go to the gym, especially now that i'm working. i lost the 7 lbs i had to lose to get to my pre pregnancy weight and guess what, my clothes still don't fit. i have a new body now. a "post baby" body. so i bought a few new fall/winter items that are cute to tide me over until i get back into my other clothes. but no matter what i do and how hard i try, my appearance matters so little right now! i'm really not a vain person and have relied on my sparkling personality (ha) to get me much further in life than my looks have, but as Oprah says, i totally do not want to turn into a "frump a dump." you know, the moms that start wearing "mom jeans"- like the SNL skit- and sweatshirts every day. i mean, don't get me wrong, i love comfy sweatshirts, but i'm not even 30 yet (i still have 15 days in my 20s!) so i want to maintain my appearance as much as i can. it makes me feel better. because as sad as it is, appearances do matter.
i find myself rushing out of the house after getting ready without giving myself a once over to make sure i look ok before i leave. i realized at her baptism standing on the altar that in all the haste to get her ready in her gown, i barely did a thing to myself! this is making me sound like a tali lover and i'm not, but take the poop hanging from the nose situation for an example. had mal not told me, i could have had that poop dry and stay for a day on my nose before i realized! i'm sure trav would have noticed it at some point, but what if he wasn't around either?
it's all good though. i guess the moral of the story is that everything revolves around lu and if she's happy i'm happy. but if you see me in a pair of mom jeans with kleenex spilling out of the pockets, tell me to go check myself out in a full length mirror. thanks.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
lucia and her twin
i'm obsessed with lyrics so have to post another song to go with the pic! trav's not going to like his double chin in this picture! lol
Blue eyes
The Cary Brothers
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you
Cause Blue Eyes
You are all that I need
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the sweet to my mean
Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are
Cause Blue Eyes
You are destiny's scene
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna be the one
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna get it on with you
Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna sing a song with you…
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
a quick update on jane
jane started her first round of chemo this morning. she's set to have 6 total.
she does chemo today and then goes in tomorrow for a drip to cap off her treatment. after the drip, she goes for acupuncture (which i am so happy she is doing!) to help with her nausea and numbness in her feet she experiences from all the toxins chemo distributes through her body.
after acupuncture, she most likely will sleep the complete day away on friday as the chemo absolutely knocks her out.
when i mentioned to lucia's doc that grandma jane had to go through chemo (we were talking about her cold and she advised me not to take lu around her before chemo in case she got her sick) the doc also advised me to have jane ask her doc about holding lucia after treatments. the toxins her body can give off could be bad for lu, she said.
i didn't have the heart to tell that to jane, so i made trav do the dirty work. she totally took it all in stride and asked her doc. and guess what, her doc told her not to hold lucia for 3 days after her treatment. crazy! he said there were no clinical studies done to prove anything, but to be safe, she shouldn't hold lucia.
for the most part, those 3 days after chemo will be so draining for her, she probably won't even be up for visitors anyway. well, i shouldn't say that because i think she'd always be up to see lucia! but we'll play it safe for 3 days. then i said we could take lucia into fenton to see her on sundays to make her feel better!
thank god it's only 3 days. i would be heartbroken if it were longer than that. it's not fair she has to go through chemo again, let alone, if she couldn't hold her granddaughter for an extended period of time. sadness.
CANCER SUCKS.
she does chemo today and then goes in tomorrow for a drip to cap off her treatment. after the drip, she goes for acupuncture (which i am so happy she is doing!) to help with her nausea and numbness in her feet she experiences from all the toxins chemo distributes through her body.
after acupuncture, she most likely will sleep the complete day away on friday as the chemo absolutely knocks her out.
when i mentioned to lucia's doc that grandma jane had to go through chemo (we were talking about her cold and she advised me not to take lu around her before chemo in case she got her sick) the doc also advised me to have jane ask her doc about holding lucia after treatments. the toxins her body can give off could be bad for lu, she said.
i didn't have the heart to tell that to jane, so i made trav do the dirty work. she totally took it all in stride and asked her doc. and guess what, her doc told her not to hold lucia for 3 days after her treatment. crazy! he said there were no clinical studies done to prove anything, but to be safe, she shouldn't hold lucia.
for the most part, those 3 days after chemo will be so draining for her, she probably won't even be up for visitors anyway. well, i shouldn't say that because i think she'd always be up to see lucia! but we'll play it safe for 3 days. then i said we could take lucia into fenton to see her on sundays to make her feel better!
thank god it's only 3 days. i would be heartbroken if it were longer than that. it's not fair she has to go through chemo again, let alone, if she couldn't hold her granddaughter for an extended period of time. sadness.
CANCER SUCKS.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
happy everafter in your eyes
"Happy Everafter In Your Eyes"
Ben Harper
The morning sunrise spread her wings
While the moon hung in the sky
Held the sea in your hands
And happy everafter in your eyes
Couldn't leave you to go to heaven
I carry you in my smile
For the first time my true reflection i see
Happy everafter in your eyes
Every star in the night
Promises the dawn
I will be there if you fall
To ever so heavily rest upon
All that i can give you
Is forever yours to keep
Wake up every day with a dream
And happyever after in your eyes
Happy everafter is in your eyes
Monday, October 27, 2008
little missy
tonight after i fed lucia, i was holding her and rocking her listening to music (and singing off tune of course). ususally she falls right asleep but tonight she was staring so intently back at me and just talking and laughing and smiling away. i kept saying "hey miss, it's time to fall asleep now!" but i couldn't help but smile and laugh back at her. she was cooing so much and it was as if we were having a mini conversation.
i just wonder what she is thinking! when she stares at me, we can lock eyes for minutes at a time and it's the most peaceful feeling. whom else can you stare at for longer than a few seconds and not feel awkwardness besides your own tiny baby? even if i were to do that to trav, after a few seconds, he'd ask "um what are you staring at?" lol in fact, yesterday when i got home from the gym i caught trav staring at me, or so i thought, because i was a sweaty mess. so i asked him "what's the deal, what are you staring at" and he said he had just glanced at me and that's it! but when adults stare, you get that self conscious feeling and wonder what they are looking at.
nothing compares to that innocent glance or loving gaze you receive from a baby.
i ended up putting her down in her crib while she was wide awake and she's still cooing and talking to herself in her room. she can't help it, some nights she just wants to party. hey, i know the feeling!
i just wonder what she is thinking! when she stares at me, we can lock eyes for minutes at a time and it's the most peaceful feeling. whom else can you stare at for longer than a few seconds and not feel awkwardness besides your own tiny baby? even if i were to do that to trav, after a few seconds, he'd ask "um what are you staring at?" lol in fact, yesterday when i got home from the gym i caught trav staring at me, or so i thought, because i was a sweaty mess. so i asked him "what's the deal, what are you staring at" and he said he had just glanced at me and that's it! but when adults stare, you get that self conscious feeling and wonder what they are looking at.
nothing compares to that innocent glance or loving gaze you receive from a baby.
i ended up putting her down in her crib while she was wide awake and she's still cooing and talking to herself in her room. she can't help it, some nights she just wants to party. hey, i know the feeling!
sick pix
here's a few pix taken last week. there are only 11 because lu was so sick all week i couldn't torture her with photo shoots!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
update on my girl
well lucia is officially feeling better! we went to the doc thursday a.m. after my last post. we had two vaccines scheduled for friday morning anyway so they were able to get us in thursday morning. i wanted her to be checked out because if she was running any fever whatsoever i would have not gotten her vaccinated. red flag!
the doc was able to confirm what we already knew, miss lucia had a cold. and there was really nothing we could do about it. just wait it out while she got better! the doc said to not be surprised if the cold got worse before it got better also. thankfully, we didn't have that kind of cold this time! it was so heartbreaking watching and listening to her being miserable. i just felt so bad for her. we hate being sick, i can't imagine what babies think? first we take them away from the cushiness of our womb, and then when they finally get used to the cold world, they get sick! poor things. she was so pitiful those couple of days and we just held her and let her sleep in our arms. i just wanted her to know we were there for her.
she started acting like herself again on saturday, with still a bit of stuffiness and raspy breathing. but she started smiling again so that was wonderful! finally today, i think we're at the tail end of it. still a little stuffiness, but all in all, much much better.
i bought a vaporizer (no scent addition, just the warm mist) and i think that helped.
she's also been back in our room in her pack and play bassinet since wednesday night. i told trav just one more night and i think i'll be able to put her back in her big girl crib. i just need her next to me while she's sick as i've been neurotic and been up often during the nights watching her breathe. and i have to admit, i've loved having her back in the room. selfish me.
when word spread (easily it does via blog) that lu was sick, so many of my mommy friends called and emailed immediately expressing their concern and relaying early memories of the first time their babies got sick. they all knew exactly where i was coming from.
my aunt lisa said when babies get sick, that's the absolute worst, followed very closely by the first time your child wanders away from you in a store. she said that brings the immediate want to projectile vomit out of nervousness while you search. and then when you find them, you're so relieved, but then that relief turns into anger at the punk for wandering. lol i'm not looking forward to that feeling! i was sick enough this past week over lucia's first cold!
now of course i'm even more paranoid about her getting sick this winter so i've taken to drinking those yogurt probiotic shots in the morning (activia) and also drinking a packet of emergen-c (my old hangover cure) a day. if i can stay healthy (which is hard for me in the winter with my puny immune system) i hope to keep sickness at bay from lu. i sterilized the entire house and handles and bathrooms with my natural cleaner (vinegar, water, and a spoonful of dish soap- no bleach!) and will do that often throughout the winter. not to mention, i'm not touching any handles or doors in public with my bare hands and wiping down machines at the gym, but i've pretty much always done that. i also found a natural hand sanitizer that i've been using on the go. i'm obsessed!
the doc was able to confirm what we already knew, miss lucia had a cold. and there was really nothing we could do about it. just wait it out while she got better! the doc said to not be surprised if the cold got worse before it got better also. thankfully, we didn't have that kind of cold this time! it was so heartbreaking watching and listening to her being miserable. i just felt so bad for her. we hate being sick, i can't imagine what babies think? first we take them away from the cushiness of our womb, and then when they finally get used to the cold world, they get sick! poor things. she was so pitiful those couple of days and we just held her and let her sleep in our arms. i just wanted her to know we were there for her.
she started acting like herself again on saturday, with still a bit of stuffiness and raspy breathing. but she started smiling again so that was wonderful! finally today, i think we're at the tail end of it. still a little stuffiness, but all in all, much much better.
i bought a vaporizer (no scent addition, just the warm mist) and i think that helped.
she's also been back in our room in her pack and play bassinet since wednesday night. i told trav just one more night and i think i'll be able to put her back in her big girl crib. i just need her next to me while she's sick as i've been neurotic and been up often during the nights watching her breathe. and i have to admit, i've loved having her back in the room. selfish me.
when word spread (easily it does via blog) that lu was sick, so many of my mommy friends called and emailed immediately expressing their concern and relaying early memories of the first time their babies got sick. they all knew exactly where i was coming from.
my aunt lisa said when babies get sick, that's the absolute worst, followed very closely by the first time your child wanders away from you in a store. she said that brings the immediate want to projectile vomit out of nervousness while you search. and then when you find them, you're so relieved, but then that relief turns into anger at the punk for wandering. lol i'm not looking forward to that feeling! i was sick enough this past week over lucia's first cold!
now of course i'm even more paranoid about her getting sick this winter so i've taken to drinking those yogurt probiotic shots in the morning (activia) and also drinking a packet of emergen-c (my old hangover cure) a day. if i can stay healthy (which is hard for me in the winter with my puny immune system) i hope to keep sickness at bay from lu. i sterilized the entire house and handles and bathrooms with my natural cleaner (vinegar, water, and a spoonful of dish soap- no bleach!) and will do that often throughout the winter. not to mention, i'm not touching any handles or doors in public with my bare hands and wiping down machines at the gym, but i've pretty much always done that. i also found a natural hand sanitizer that i've been using on the go. i'm obsessed!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
devastation!
well it happened. lu got her first cold. i am just devastated!
yesterday evening her breathing was becoming a bit labored and she seemed to be having trouble swallowing. she'd choke a bit and it would freak me out but then she'd catch her breath or swallow and she would be ok. the first time she was gagging a bit i was eating dinner and trav was holding her. instantly, i completely lost my appetite out of utter worry and dumped my food out. it's amazing how a nervous sickness absolutely washed over me and i was in rescue mode.
it was almost as if she had an extra buildup of mucous and just didn't know what to do with it. as adults it's awful having that extra phlegm in your throat, can you imagine what a poor baby feels like? they have no idea why they feel gross and it's gotta be scary.
at first i thought it might be her acid reflux acting up, because she had spit up a lot more yesterday than normal. she spits up a lot anyway, but yesterday seemed extra vomitalicious. so i held her up right all evening in order to help the reflux. well as the night progressed, so did some sniffles. so sad!
of course i couldn't let her sleep alone in her room, so trav moved her pack and play bassinet back into our room. we elevated the mattress but putting some towels under it (not directly in her bassinet, but under the mattress) and that seemed to help. her breathing was still a bit labored, so therefore, i was literally up every hour checking on her. at 2 am, we both woke up to put saline drops in her tiny nose and then suction snot out. poor little thing! she ended up sleeping until 6 though and had we not woken her up to put the drops in her nose, i think she would have slept uninterupted.
i read in my dr. sears baby book the best tactic for doing this and it seemed to really work. first we held her upright and i squirted saline drops in her nose. then we laid her down, with her body elevated higher than her head. she was able to sneeze (just as the book said she would) and we then suctioned out her nose. she didn't mind it too much and even was smiling this morning after i tortured her with the process. my sweet girl, feeling miserable but still smiling!
lu is scheduled to get two shots tomorrow am, but i'm going to see if i can get her in the doc today. i'll postpone her shots because obviously i won't get her vaccinated if she has a cold, but i'd still like to get her in to the doc to make sure it's just a simple cold. i was thinking, parents of infants must be the most paranoid people alive.
my baby has a cold! i'm sick about it. for the first time since she was born, utter worry completely took over and my anxiety level was so high. it's not the cold that was the hardest, but when she was having trouble breathing, that absolutely freaked me out. and the fact that it was happening in the night, that just seemed to make it worse. i was thinking as i was up rocking her with a pit in my stomach, this is payback for all the times i made my parents worry by not coming home at night at curfew! or for the times i was sick, or even hospitalized as a child with pnemonia. how terrible that must have been for my mom and dad.
oh and guess what, i'm going to be so much more paranoid about germs now! she saw about 40 people this weekend (no joke - people coming in and out of our place, and we went to a cookout at tara and jason's with even more people) so of course i'm wondering who got her sick or passed the bug around? she's so fragile and i need to insist on the hand washing even more now! and here's a tip for everyone out there, try not to touch a baby's hands or face, especially during cold and flu season. i know it's natural, but they put their hands in their mouth all day long. and your hands carry germs and often are disgusting. so please keep your hands off any baby's hands!!!! i never realized this until i was a parent so i don't blame people, it's their hands that you want to touch because they are so tiny and sweet.
p.s i'm typing this next to her bed right now watching her sleep and breathe.
yesterday evening her breathing was becoming a bit labored and she seemed to be having trouble swallowing. she'd choke a bit and it would freak me out but then she'd catch her breath or swallow and she would be ok. the first time she was gagging a bit i was eating dinner and trav was holding her. instantly, i completely lost my appetite out of utter worry and dumped my food out. it's amazing how a nervous sickness absolutely washed over me and i was in rescue mode.
it was almost as if she had an extra buildup of mucous and just didn't know what to do with it. as adults it's awful having that extra phlegm in your throat, can you imagine what a poor baby feels like? they have no idea why they feel gross and it's gotta be scary.
at first i thought it might be her acid reflux acting up, because she had spit up a lot more yesterday than normal. she spits up a lot anyway, but yesterday seemed extra vomitalicious. so i held her up right all evening in order to help the reflux. well as the night progressed, so did some sniffles. so sad!
of course i couldn't let her sleep alone in her room, so trav moved her pack and play bassinet back into our room. we elevated the mattress but putting some towels under it (not directly in her bassinet, but under the mattress) and that seemed to help. her breathing was still a bit labored, so therefore, i was literally up every hour checking on her. at 2 am, we both woke up to put saline drops in her tiny nose and then suction snot out. poor little thing! she ended up sleeping until 6 though and had we not woken her up to put the drops in her nose, i think she would have slept uninterupted.
i read in my dr. sears baby book the best tactic for doing this and it seemed to really work. first we held her upright and i squirted saline drops in her nose. then we laid her down, with her body elevated higher than her head. she was able to sneeze (just as the book said she would) and we then suctioned out her nose. she didn't mind it too much and even was smiling this morning after i tortured her with the process. my sweet girl, feeling miserable but still smiling!
lu is scheduled to get two shots tomorrow am, but i'm going to see if i can get her in the doc today. i'll postpone her shots because obviously i won't get her vaccinated if she has a cold, but i'd still like to get her in to the doc to make sure it's just a simple cold. i was thinking, parents of infants must be the most paranoid people alive.
my baby has a cold! i'm sick about it. for the first time since she was born, utter worry completely took over and my anxiety level was so high. it's not the cold that was the hardest, but when she was having trouble breathing, that absolutely freaked me out. and the fact that it was happening in the night, that just seemed to make it worse. i was thinking as i was up rocking her with a pit in my stomach, this is payback for all the times i made my parents worry by not coming home at night at curfew! or for the times i was sick, or even hospitalized as a child with pnemonia. how terrible that must have been for my mom and dad.
oh and guess what, i'm going to be so much more paranoid about germs now! she saw about 40 people this weekend (no joke - people coming in and out of our place, and we went to a cookout at tara and jason's with even more people) so of course i'm wondering who got her sick or passed the bug around? she's so fragile and i need to insist on the hand washing even more now! and here's a tip for everyone out there, try not to touch a baby's hands or face, especially during cold and flu season. i know it's natural, but they put their hands in their mouth all day long. and your hands carry germs and often are disgusting. so please keep your hands off any baby's hands!!!! i never realized this until i was a parent so i don't blame people, it's their hands that you want to touch because they are so tiny and sweet.
p.s i'm typing this next to her bed right now watching her sleep and breathe.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
rockabye
"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I've learned, to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."
the above saying hung in our hallway growing up, crocheted by my mom. i knew it by heart and could recite it because i looked at it every day. i never thought about the meaning until recently.
sometimes at night i have to make myself put lucia down in her crib after rocking her. i could hold and rock her forever, and stare at her little face as i cradle her in my arms. i love how after she eats, she's completely at ease and at peace and i wonder what her tiny mind is thinking and dreaming about. i am most at peace when i hold, feed and rock her, and totally try to be present at all times for her at that time. however, work and responsibilities loom over me oftentimes. i make mental lists for the grocery store, or remind myself i have a deadline to make. it's hard not to.
but if anything, having a baby has reminded me to slow down and enjoy her at all times. to take it all in. life still has to go on and i'm still responsible for so much and must hold myself accountable in personal and professional areas of my life, but no matter what, she'll always come first. and i'll hold onto her as long as i can, because i won't be able to rock her to sleep forever!
For babies grow up, I've learned, to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."
the above saying hung in our hallway growing up, crocheted by my mom. i knew it by heart and could recite it because i looked at it every day. i never thought about the meaning until recently.
sometimes at night i have to make myself put lucia down in her crib after rocking her. i could hold and rock her forever, and stare at her little face as i cradle her in my arms. i love how after she eats, she's completely at ease and at peace and i wonder what her tiny mind is thinking and dreaming about. i am most at peace when i hold, feed and rock her, and totally try to be present at all times for her at that time. however, work and responsibilities loom over me oftentimes. i make mental lists for the grocery store, or remind myself i have a deadline to make. it's hard not to.
but if anything, having a baby has reminded me to slow down and enjoy her at all times. to take it all in. life still has to go on and i'm still responsible for so much and must hold myself accountable in personal and professional areas of my life, but no matter what, she'll always come first. and i'll hold onto her as long as i can, because i won't be able to rock her to sleep forever!
Monday, October 20, 2008
lucia dee 1-2-3
i figured i really needed an all things lucia post after those horrible pix i posted of her uncle yesterday! this post will serve as a record to remember her likes and dislikes and her day to day at age 3 months and almost 2 weeks. my mom kept a journal for me and i look back at it and compare how i was at this age. it's pretty cool. i would like to do the same for luci in this blog, but obviously in a different form as technology has taken over.
current likes: a little white bear that sings "jesus loves me", a flashing, disco strobe light, reading books with mommy, jamming out to music, being naked (nak-e-tee as we like to say) from the waist down, long walks, car rides, staring at and obsessing over mommy, big kisses on the neck and chubby cheeks, a hippo floor gym, baths, her swing, a fisher price aquarium on the crib,falling asleep on someone...
dislikes: being strapped into her car seat (if she's sleepy i call it the "battle royal" when we have to get her into her seat), putting clothes over her head, putting bibs on her, burping in the middle of a meal (she would really like to eat uninterrupted but i have to minimize pukeage)...
there really isn't much she doesn't like. i truly think she is a very easy baby and we really lucked out! that's all it is, pure luck!
now onto things the mommy loves: her smiles in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning when i wake up missing her, smelling her, nuzzling my nose with hers, changing her diapers because she loves it so much, giving her baths with daddy, reading to her (oftentimes i end up crying, especially after the books "someday", "the kissing hand," and "the giving tree",) stalking her on her video monitor when she naps, dressing her in all of her cute clothes and having photo shoots, taking walks with her, and probably the the thing i love the most, her looks of pure love she gives me, the ones that make my heart want to burst. we are so very lucky.
current likes: a little white bear that sings "jesus loves me", a flashing, disco strobe light, reading books with mommy, jamming out to music, being naked (nak-e-tee as we like to say) from the waist down, long walks, car rides, staring at and obsessing over mommy, big kisses on the neck and chubby cheeks, a hippo floor gym, baths, her swing, a fisher price aquarium on the crib,falling asleep on someone...
dislikes: being strapped into her car seat (if she's sleepy i call it the "battle royal" when we have to get her into her seat), putting clothes over her head, putting bibs on her, burping in the middle of a meal (she would really like to eat uninterrupted but i have to minimize pukeage)...
there really isn't much she doesn't like. i truly think she is a very easy baby and we really lucked out! that's all it is, pure luck!
now onto things the mommy loves: her smiles in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning when i wake up missing her, smelling her, nuzzling my nose with hers, changing her diapers because she loves it so much, giving her baths with daddy, reading to her (oftentimes i end up crying, especially after the books "someday", "the kissing hand," and "the giving tree",) stalking her on her video monitor when she naps, dressing her in all of her cute clothes and having photo shoots, taking walks with her, and probably the the thing i love the most, her looks of pure love she gives me, the ones that make my heart want to burst. we are so very lucky.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
tailgate weekend
tailgate is always a big deal around here, but even more so this year as justin and i dropped 100 bones on a cardboard cut out of ryan! LIFESIZE! many of you know, ryan did a fitness competition in april. (sidenote: at said competition, i almost went into labor out of nervousness. just imagine, being on stage, in only a bikini, being judged by hundreds of people, posing and flexing while everyone critiqued every little inch of your body. it's my worst flippin' nightmare!) since then, ryan has not lived it down and we mock him at every chance we get.
when justin approached me with the idea of ordering a cardboard cut out of ryan and i did not hesitate to say YES!!!! it was such a hit at tailgate and drew many stares and much laughter. ryan was a good sport about it, but he better be, as it's going to be in attendance at thanksgiving, christmas and every other family event and dinner in between. he did give credit where credit was due, but also threatened us with a "just wait until you see this year's christmas card." oh boy. it never ends.
in addition to it being a day of humiliation for ryan, it was also my first big day out without lu! gangy and connie (aka the two queens) watched her from 9ish to 3 and i came home at game time. the day flew, and i managed to tie a tiny buzz on, but also remained very mom like and responsible to cut myself off in time to get sober and go home to my girl. oh, how the times have changed.
see pix below from tailgate and also our playdate on friday with reesie russo and mr. logan moon.
when justin approached me with the idea of ordering a cardboard cut out of ryan and i did not hesitate to say YES!!!! it was such a hit at tailgate and drew many stares and much laughter. ryan was a good sport about it, but he better be, as it's going to be in attendance at thanksgiving, christmas and every other family event and dinner in between. he did give credit where credit was due, but also threatened us with a "just wait until you see this year's christmas card." oh boy. it never ends.
in addition to it being a day of humiliation for ryan, it was also my first big day out without lu! gangy and connie (aka the two queens) watched her from 9ish to 3 and i came home at game time. the day flew, and i managed to tie a tiny buzz on, but also remained very mom like and responsible to cut myself off in time to get sober and go home to my girl. oh, how the times have changed.
see pix below from tailgate and also our playdate on friday with reesie russo and mr. logan moon.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
830-330
that was lu's sleep schedule last night. which is still pretty darn good and i got up with her, fed her and then she went back down until 630. i have to confess, i was kind of glad when she woke up at 330 so i know our night feedings are not completely over. i know so many people think i'm crazy, but i'll miss them when she's done and completely sleeping through the night. i realized this yesterday. like i've said before, there is just something special about sharing the stillness of the night with your baby. i know at that time, she's mine and all mine! it's just so peaceful as she gets up with a smile, i change her, feed her and then put her down with no protest.
she's sleeping now in her crib. she's really good about being put down when she's still a little bit awake and dosing off to sleep on her own. it's so right how people say you can totally read your babies cues after the first couple months. also amy and nick told me about the 90 minute rule when they are newborns, as usually every 90 minutes they're awake, a baby will want to nap. it's so true. when i see her start to rub her eyes or get a bit crabby, i look at the clock and realize it's been about 90 minutes. great tip.
since thursday is the new friday for me, i better get to work!
she's sleeping now in her crib. she's really good about being put down when she's still a little bit awake and dosing off to sleep on her own. it's so right how people say you can totally read your babies cues after the first couple months. also amy and nick told me about the 90 minute rule when they are newborns, as usually every 90 minutes they're awake, a baby will want to nap. it's so true. when i see her start to rub her eyes or get a bit crabby, i look at the clock and realize it's been about 90 minutes. great tip.
since thursday is the new friday for me, i better get to work!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
well, beatle bailey likes halloween books too!
not one to be left out, beatle bailey is never far away whenever we do tummy time or read books in lu's room. even when i feed her in her room, he's at my feet. and when the last feeding of the night goes down, somehow he always knows, and jumps into our bed keeping my side warm. what a good boy!
wow
my girl slept from 830-530 am today! woke up super happy and played for a bit with me and ate and then went back down around 7. insane. i am so rested because i got 8 hours of sleep basically uninterrupted aside from my own waking at 2,3,4 wondering what the deal was! not to mention, it felt like i was smuggling two bowling balls under my shirt. i'm not getting my hopes up that this is going to stick, but my girl is evolving!
Monday, October 13, 2008
fuss
luci has been a bit fussy the past two days. yesterday at my parents she completely freaked out when my aunt shawn went to hold her and when i finally calmed her down, she freaked out again when shawn went for her for a second time. it was really strange and quite the oxymoron, since shawn is a nurse within the NICU at Hurley! i wanted to tell luc, "it's ok, she's an expert and you're safe in her arms! don't cry or be scared!" to hear your baby cry is the worst sound in the world, ESPECIALLY when she is in someone else's arms. you wonder why she is crying? is she scared? uncomfortable? sad? i want to snatch her away from the person that's holding her if she is crying immediately, but i don't want to insult the person holding her. i know they could probably eventually calm her, but i also know i can calm her in a fraction of the time. half the time, or most of the time rather, i don't care if i insult whomever is holding her, i do just snatch her! the problem is that i do want her to be able to be easily calmed by others also, so i walk a thin line with it, but at the same time, i don't care what anyone says, nobody can calm a baby like his or her own mother. and i do love being able to comfort her as she falls submissive in my arms, with her little whimpers as she looks up at me with her big blue eyes.
today she was fussy for mallori quite a bit and even for me tonight. it was like she was really tired and fighting sleep and when she would finally dose off in my arms, she'd wake up crying again. she went down fairly easy tonight for good about 15 minutes ago, because i think she was so exhausted. poor thing. is she growing? i'm hoping with tomorrow being a new day she wakes up feeling better and refreshed. i'm also obviously hoping for a good night tonight! wish me luck.
on another note, today seems as if it is our last day of hot weather and for the first time in my life, i am totally welcoming the cooler weather. summer is and will always be my favorite season, but i'm sick of sweating! seriously! constantly running around with lu in my arms, or scrambling around when she's sleeping to get things done has left me a sweaty mess most of the time. i've tried baby wearing, but forget about that, i get too darn hot for it to even be enjoyable for us. so i'm hoping with the change of weather i'll be able to cool off a bit!
today she was fussy for mallori quite a bit and even for me tonight. it was like she was really tired and fighting sleep and when she would finally dose off in my arms, she'd wake up crying again. she went down fairly easy tonight for good about 15 minutes ago, because i think she was so exhausted. poor thing. is she growing? i'm hoping with tomorrow being a new day she wakes up feeling better and refreshed. i'm also obviously hoping for a good night tonight! wish me luck.
on another note, today seems as if it is our last day of hot weather and for the first time in my life, i am totally welcoming the cooler weather. summer is and will always be my favorite season, but i'm sick of sweating! seriously! constantly running around with lu in my arms, or scrambling around when she's sleeping to get things done has left me a sweaty mess most of the time. i've tried baby wearing, but forget about that, i get too darn hot for it to even be enjoyable for us. so i'm hoping with the change of weather i'll be able to cool off a bit!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
good night good night
i'm about to go to bed, but wanted to post some cute pix first! we had a great weekend filled with family and friends. it flew by! i don't know what i would do without my fridays. it's so nice to have fridays off of work to simply spend with lucia, and get caught up on weekly things like vacuuming and cleaning (when she's sleeping) that get pushed aside on week nights because i want to spend my entire evening with lu and trav. i cherish our fridays and really view them as a luxury. i know i'm so lucky to have a four day work week!
Friday, October 10, 2008
more jane news and some luci too
jane is still in the hospital, but they think she'll be going home tomorrow. the tumor was a stage three tumor and they classify it as a recurrence of ovarian cancer. she is set to have 6 rounds of chemo, but they are going to let her heal a bit first. she is in good spirits and very optimistic and we all know she can beat cancer. AGAIN. ugh. i never thought she'd have to go through that again!
when people get sick, it's really hard to do or say the right thing, because there really isn't a "good" thing to say. i asked jane if there is anything anyone can say to make her feel better and she simply said NO. there isn't. people try, but we can't take away the worry or fear or anger. but there are things you can do. send a card. make food she can freeze. take over some groceries. offer to clean the house and don't take no for an answer. too often people say "what can i do?" but don't do anything because the person that needs them doesn't want to ask for help. i think we shouldn't ask, we should just do! it will make the person in need feel better and let's face it, it will make you feel better too to know that you helped in the smallest of ways.
and again i ask please keep jane in your prayers.
now to talk about jane's and my favorite little person, lucia. last night was her first night in her crib. :( i was so sad to put her down in her own room as i'm so used to having her next to me and hearing her breathe in her pack and play bassinet. i am not ready to let my little sweetie grow and move slowly away from me, however, babies develop sleep patterns and are aware of their surroundings between 2-4 months and it was time for me to transition her into her own bed. i fed and put her down around 9-930 and she slept until 4! of course i awoke with a start at 3 and had to slip into her room to watch her sleep and make sure she was breathing (paranoia) and couldn't fall asleep again anyway. so i crept back into bed, but continued watching her on our video monitor which really does not need to be on, because her room is right across the hall from us.
lucia is falling into her own patterns, usually getting a stretch of 6 hours in at first before she awakes me to eat. did you know that the definition of sleeping through the night is 6 hours for a baby? well it is! and that is what she's been doing. i also realized last night that she makes a lot of noises and normally i would swoop in and pick her up and feed her, but last night with her being in her own room, i was able to see she was not fully awake and she got an extra hour in (even though i didn't lol). so while i am not ready and am sad about letting her sleep in her crib, it's probably the best for her! and when i went in there at 4 am and again at 745 when she awoke for the day, she was all smiles and well rested. my girl is growing!
i know they say you shouldn't hold a sleeping baby often and they should be put in their bed so they don't get used to being held while sleeping for naps, i am ignoring that a couple times a week, especially during her little cat naps in the evening. i don't care, there is nothing like a sleeping baby in your arms, and it will be gone all too fast. and with being back to work, i cherish every minute i have with her and will hold onto her and those moments as long as i can! i watch her when she sleeps and trace the outline of her sweet face and ears and head and try to take it all in and remember it. she's already grown so much! my 3 month old sweet girl...
have a good weekend everyone!
when people get sick, it's really hard to do or say the right thing, because there really isn't a "good" thing to say. i asked jane if there is anything anyone can say to make her feel better and she simply said NO. there isn't. people try, but we can't take away the worry or fear or anger. but there are things you can do. send a card. make food she can freeze. take over some groceries. offer to clean the house and don't take no for an answer. too often people say "what can i do?" but don't do anything because the person that needs them doesn't want to ask for help. i think we shouldn't ask, we should just do! it will make the person in need feel better and let's face it, it will make you feel better too to know that you helped in the smallest of ways.
and again i ask please keep jane in your prayers.
now to talk about jane's and my favorite little person, lucia. last night was her first night in her crib. :( i was so sad to put her down in her own room as i'm so used to having her next to me and hearing her breathe in her pack and play bassinet. i am not ready to let my little sweetie grow and move slowly away from me, however, babies develop sleep patterns and are aware of their surroundings between 2-4 months and it was time for me to transition her into her own bed. i fed and put her down around 9-930 and she slept until 4! of course i awoke with a start at 3 and had to slip into her room to watch her sleep and make sure she was breathing (paranoia) and couldn't fall asleep again anyway. so i crept back into bed, but continued watching her on our video monitor which really does not need to be on, because her room is right across the hall from us.
lucia is falling into her own patterns, usually getting a stretch of 6 hours in at first before she awakes me to eat. did you know that the definition of sleeping through the night is 6 hours for a baby? well it is! and that is what she's been doing. i also realized last night that she makes a lot of noises and normally i would swoop in and pick her up and feed her, but last night with her being in her own room, i was able to see she was not fully awake and she got an extra hour in (even though i didn't lol). so while i am not ready and am sad about letting her sleep in her crib, it's probably the best for her! and when i went in there at 4 am and again at 745 when she awoke for the day, she was all smiles and well rested. my girl is growing!
i know they say you shouldn't hold a sleeping baby often and they should be put in their bed so they don't get used to being held while sleeping for naps, i am ignoring that a couple times a week, especially during her little cat naps in the evening. i don't care, there is nothing like a sleeping baby in your arms, and it will be gone all too fast. and with being back to work, i cherish every minute i have with her and will hold onto her and those moments as long as i can! i watch her when she sleeps and trace the outline of her sweet face and ears and head and try to take it all in and remember it. she's already grown so much! my 3 month old sweet girl...
have a good weekend everyone!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
big prayers today
grandma jane is in surgery right now and we hope and pray when they remove the tumor they find it to be benign. as many of you know, jane BEAT stage 3 ovarian cancer two years ago and we don't want to see her go through that again. please keep jane in your thoughts and prayers today luci misses her as today is normally jane's day to watch/spoil her!
UPDATE- they removed the tumor and found it to be malignant. jane has to undergo six rounds of chemo. will keep you all posted. please keep jane in your prayers.
UPDATE- they removed the tumor and found it to be malignant. jane has to undergo six rounds of chemo. will keep you all posted. please keep jane in your prayers.
Monday, October 6, 2008
can you handle the cuteness????
here's a couple pix with lu and her bff reesie. these were taken last wednesday at grandma jane and grandpa tim's. they've watched reese once a week since last january. well last wednesday was a rude awakening for the queen bee as luci arrived. after nicole explained to her that luci was a "real baby" reese spent the rest of the day wondering why the heck this "real baby" had to come over and rain on her parade. she had to share the spotlight with miss lucia and she wasn't too thrilled. i think her face says it all.
and look at them both, it's like a mini russo and a baby trav! why couldn't our daughters get any of our attributes!? they are daddy's girls!
big weekend!
we had a big weekend! friday lucia watched her first parade for east lansing's homecoming and she loved the marching band and drums!
saturday we went into fenton for an overnight to prepare for her baptism on sunday, followed by a brunch with 25 people!
it was a great success. everything was beautiful, and lu was an absolute angel. as a mom, i was nervous she might have a breakdown on the altar during the ceremony, or worse have a loud blow out, but she totally behaved! :) (she waited to have the explosive blowout until we were posing for pictures with pastor!) the ceremony was beautiful and it was such an honor to have pastor dean perform the ceremony, as he also did our wedding. the brunch was also a success and overall the day couldn't have been better. oh, one thing though, my poor dad was so sick he could not come! so that was a bummer, luci's jidu missing her big day. and he had to have been really sick because usually the man doesn't admit if he's under the weather!
one more thing, the dress lu wore was handmade by a friend of my mom and dad. she lives up north next to their cottage and when i was there memorial day, large and in charge, she took one look at me and predicted i was having a baby girl. she crocheted the dress and bonnet before lu was born and before we knew she was a baby girl! i think after my mom saw the dress, she was hoping lu would be a girl anyway because it was so beautiful!
below are some pix from our weekend. remember to click on the pix to be taken to another screen with captions.
saturday we went into fenton for an overnight to prepare for her baptism on sunday, followed by a brunch with 25 people!
it was a great success. everything was beautiful, and lu was an absolute angel. as a mom, i was nervous she might have a breakdown on the altar during the ceremony, or worse have a loud blow out, but she totally behaved! :) (she waited to have the explosive blowout until we were posing for pictures with pastor!) the ceremony was beautiful and it was such an honor to have pastor dean perform the ceremony, as he also did our wedding. the brunch was also a success and overall the day couldn't have been better. oh, one thing though, my poor dad was so sick he could not come! so that was a bummer, luci's jidu missing her big day. and he had to have been really sick because usually the man doesn't admit if he's under the weather!
one more thing, the dress lu wore was handmade by a friend of my mom and dad. she lives up north next to their cottage and when i was there memorial day, large and in charge, she took one look at me and predicted i was having a baby girl. she crocheted the dress and bonnet before lu was born and before we knew she was a baby girl! i think after my mom saw the dress, she was hoping lu would be a girl anyway because it was so beautiful!
below are some pix from our weekend. remember to click on the pix to be taken to another screen with captions.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
life lessons
i've always loved the below article written by Mary Schmich, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. After i first read it more than 10 years ago, a lot of the advice was realized, but only know do i really find it all to be true.
which begs the question, what are the lessons that i want to ensure trav and i teach lucia?
read the below article and then i'll add in some other life's lessons i have learned along the way that i think are important to pass down...
Advice To Live By
Tips from a speech never given
-Mary Schmich
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at the photos and recall how fabulous you really looked at the time. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing gum. Real troubles are apt to blind-side you at 4 p.m. on an idle Tuesday.
Do one thing daily that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Remember compliments, forget insults.
Keep old love letters. Throw away old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't know what they want to do with theirs.
Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Mybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself or berate yourself too much. Your choices are half chance, like everybody else's.
Dance.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone.
Be nice to your siblings. They're the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. The older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Travel.
Accept these certain truths:
Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And then you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
the end...
if i could add my two cents or lessons i want to be sure lucia is taught i would say:
always say please and thank you.
while you're at it, always write a personalized thank you note for every gift or thoughtful deed that touches you.
never say you're too busy to do something that really should be done i.e calling a friend or family member, sending a birthday card, going to a funeral... you're never too busy to do what is right.
girls can be mean. don't be one of those mean girls.
be nice to everyone. there is good in every person. even if they don't show it, show them your "good."
respect the earth. recycle. do what you can. when you throw things away, there is no such thing as AWAY. it always goes somewhere. and it's a mess.
drink a lot of water.
be nice to your mom and dad. even when you're a teenager.
be kind to animals.
enjoy dessert but don't pig out on it.
don't obsess over that one boy that really doesn't have an interest in you. it's a waste of time and you'll live to understand HE WAS NOT WORTH IT. (i know this is one she'll have to learn on her own!)
make lots of friends with a lot of different people.
try not to gossip. (i say try- it's hard for anyone not to but with age it definitely decreases!)
i'm sure i could go on and on, but i hear her stirring (she's napping in her crib right now).
feel free to add your two cents in my comment section regarding lessons you think are important to add!
i love comments!
which begs the question, what are the lessons that i want to ensure trav and i teach lucia?
read the below article and then i'll add in some other life's lessons i have learned along the way that i think are important to pass down...
Advice To Live By
Tips from a speech never given
-Mary Schmich
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at the photos and recall how fabulous you really looked at the time. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing gum. Real troubles are apt to blind-side you at 4 p.m. on an idle Tuesday.
Do one thing daily that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Remember compliments, forget insults.
Keep old love letters. Throw away old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't know what they want to do with theirs.
Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Mybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself or berate yourself too much. Your choices are half chance, like everybody else's.
Dance.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone.
Be nice to your siblings. They're the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. The older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Travel.
Accept these certain truths:
Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And then you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
the end...
if i could add my two cents or lessons i want to be sure lucia is taught i would say:
always say please and thank you.
while you're at it, always write a personalized thank you note for every gift or thoughtful deed that touches you.
never say you're too busy to do something that really should be done i.e calling a friend or family member, sending a birthday card, going to a funeral... you're never too busy to do what is right.
girls can be mean. don't be one of those mean girls.
be nice to everyone. there is good in every person. even if they don't show it, show them your "good."
respect the earth. recycle. do what you can. when you throw things away, there is no such thing as AWAY. it always goes somewhere. and it's a mess.
drink a lot of water.
be nice to your mom and dad. even when you're a teenager.
be kind to animals.
enjoy dessert but don't pig out on it.
don't obsess over that one boy that really doesn't have an interest in you. it's a waste of time and you'll live to understand HE WAS NOT WORTH IT. (i know this is one she'll have to learn on her own!)
make lots of friends with a lot of different people.
try not to gossip. (i say try- it's hard for anyone not to but with age it definitely decreases!)
i'm sure i could go on and on, but i hear her stirring (she's napping in her crib right now).
feel free to add your two cents in my comment section regarding lessons you think are important to add!
i love comments!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
miss thing
has found her thumb!
she's really intent on sucking away on that tiny little thumb of hers! it's so funny because while it doesn't seem to satisfy her yet, she'd much rather have her thumb and fist in her mouth than a paci. she's never been completely sold on a paci,and is very fickle as to when she actually wants it. it is so cute to watch her chomp away on her fist. she's so aware of her hands and their movements now. it's cool watching her evolve!
today was her first day at grandma and grandpa hylens with miss reese russo. i've been told reesie was absolutely enamored with the "real baby" and didn't really know what to make of lucia. and i also heard she was just a little bit jealous! she's used to being the queen over there and she had to share the title with lil lu. they are going to be the best of buddies some day!
she's really intent on sucking away on that tiny little thumb of hers! it's so funny because while it doesn't seem to satisfy her yet, she'd much rather have her thumb and fist in her mouth than a paci. she's never been completely sold on a paci,and is very fickle as to when she actually wants it. it is so cute to watch her chomp away on her fist. she's so aware of her hands and their movements now. it's cool watching her evolve!
today was her first day at grandma and grandpa hylens with miss reese russo. i've been told reesie was absolutely enamored with the "real baby" and didn't really know what to make of lucia. and i also heard she was just a little bit jealous! she's used to being the queen over there and she had to share the title with lil lu. they are going to be the best of buddies some day!
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