here i am again on the computer because lucia is laying in her crib awake (but this time not fussing thankfully). she's again exhausted after taking an hour nap this morning (thank god for a nap longer than a half hour) but refusing sleep after i tried to rock her down twice. i just laid her down this past time and she is looking at her aquarium relaxing. it would be a miracle if she put herself to sleep!
anyway, i'm doing research about stages and found this really great link from the book wonder weeks about fussy times for babies. click here for more information. as it stands, lu just happens to be going through a fussy stage in her development.
and OMG i just went to check on her after seeing what i thought was her sleeping through her monitor, and she is! on her own, holding a little blanket i gave her. holy cow i am in shock. the only thing i did differently this time was turning the volume up on her aquarium songs. wow.
also, she has not went to the bathroom in two days so i'm thinking that's affecting her tummy and behavior too. she was ripping some loud ones as i typed so i thought she was going but i went in to change her and found nothing. i hope she goes later!
btw, sorry i'm so open and honest and give a bit too much information in these posts, but they also serve as a paperless journal for me to look back on as i'll have this site forever.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
another bad night
it all started at around 640 because we gave lucia an early bath to put her to bed as she slept about a total of 60-70 minutes all day for naps. her eyes were red and it even looked like she was getting dark circles under them, she was soooo tired. from the point she ate and fell asleep in my arms around 7ish, she was up consistently from 7-11. every time you'd think she was asleep, she would wake up minutes after we laid her down in her crib. finally around 11 i fed her, and she seemed really hungry which was odd because the past few months she's only been eating once a night around 3-4. (which seems like ages ago now that we've had 2 weeks of poor sleeping). she finally went down around 11-1 and slept for two hours. woke up at 2. my mom (she watched lu yesterday and today) rocked her down so i'm not sure what time she fell asleep. she woke up again to eat around 415 so i fed her, rocked her down and she immediately woke up. i tried again. she woke up again. thank god my mom was here because she took her from me and rocked her seriously from like 530-830. just held her and let her sleep.
i tried putting her down at 1015 for a nap and she immediately woke up when i got undressed for a shower. i was able to take a shower with no protest but now she is pissed. (it's about 10:55) right now i am walking back and forth from her room, giving her a pacifier and rubbing her belly and head telling her "it's ok. go night night." her eyes are red and she is so tired but is fighting sleep so hard. i'm attempting tactics from teh book "the no cry sleep solution" which gave some good tips and i'm just putting them to use.
it's taking me many minutes to type this blog because i keep returning to her as she protests. but i need to type this out as a vent and to keep a level head. (i'd love any comments and suggestions btw) i'm wracking my brain for the cause of this disruption. was it the holidays alone? is she not feeling well? is she growing? i don't feel teeth, but that doesn't mean they're not coming. however, that's always the go to reason "oh she must be teething" and it's not always the case. i also know that this time in their development can produce some fussiness, so maybe it's just a quick passing phase?
i've introduced a little lovey blanket to her and she isn't too interested. she chucks her pacifier over the crib rails when i leave the room in protest. she's mad. i'll just keep trying. it's all i can do! this disruption has only lasted 2 weeks. hopefully i can nip it in the bud now the holidays are almost over and her schedule will return to normal.
we had plans tonight for a whooping NYE as we normally do but this weekend i realized i wasn't ready to leave her alone. i thought for sure when we were planning it in detroit, that it would be my first big night out. we many people think NYE is overrated, but i've always had an awesome time. my friends have thrown some doozies- private parties for a few years in the sears tower which was so fun, and another year i chartered a yacht in chi! it sounds ridiculous but i did! trav wanted to kill me when i put the deposit down on our credit card without telling him. ha! another year, we were in hawaii. so i've always loved NYE. however, it's different this year. we've secured my mom to babysit, but i can't in good conscious leave her here if lucia is going to be acting like a mini-beast. not cool. earlier this week i told the girls we would only be coming for the pre party and then we would return home once they all left for the bar. but now i'm even rethinking that. i know it's because i'm absolutely exhausted, but i also know i need to do the right thing and be here for my daughter, even if it pisses my friends off. i'm so torn. and i'm so tired.
i want to pick her up and make it easy for both of us right now, but for now i am going to just keep returning to her when she protests and cries to tell her it's ok. she is fine when i'm with her. i don't want to cheat her out of learning to self soothe, but i also don't want to teach her the hard way- something i'm going to avoid. i definitely don't want to lose her trust. i'm just going to keep plugging away. i'm off thru friday and then we have the weekend. wish me luck.
i tried putting her down at 1015 for a nap and she immediately woke up when i got undressed for a shower. i was able to take a shower with no protest but now she is pissed. (it's about 10:55) right now i am walking back and forth from her room, giving her a pacifier and rubbing her belly and head telling her "it's ok. go night night." her eyes are red and she is so tired but is fighting sleep so hard. i'm attempting tactics from teh book "the no cry sleep solution" which gave some good tips and i'm just putting them to use.
it's taking me many minutes to type this blog because i keep returning to her as she protests. but i need to type this out as a vent and to keep a level head. (i'd love any comments and suggestions btw) i'm wracking my brain for the cause of this disruption. was it the holidays alone? is she not feeling well? is she growing? i don't feel teeth, but that doesn't mean they're not coming. however, that's always the go to reason "oh she must be teething" and it's not always the case. i also know that this time in their development can produce some fussiness, so maybe it's just a quick passing phase?
i've introduced a little lovey blanket to her and she isn't too interested. she chucks her pacifier over the crib rails when i leave the room in protest. she's mad. i'll just keep trying. it's all i can do! this disruption has only lasted 2 weeks. hopefully i can nip it in the bud now the holidays are almost over and her schedule will return to normal.
we had plans tonight for a whooping NYE as we normally do but this weekend i realized i wasn't ready to leave her alone. i thought for sure when we were planning it in detroit, that it would be my first big night out. we many people think NYE is overrated, but i've always had an awesome time. my friends have thrown some doozies- private parties for a few years in the sears tower which was so fun, and another year i chartered a yacht in chi! it sounds ridiculous but i did! trav wanted to kill me when i put the deposit down on our credit card without telling him. ha! another year, we were in hawaii. so i've always loved NYE. however, it's different this year. we've secured my mom to babysit, but i can't in good conscious leave her here if lucia is going to be acting like a mini-beast. not cool. earlier this week i told the girls we would only be coming for the pre party and then we would return home once they all left for the bar. but now i'm even rethinking that. i know it's because i'm absolutely exhausted, but i also know i need to do the right thing and be here for my daughter, even if it pisses my friends off. i'm so torn. and i'm so tired.
i want to pick her up and make it easy for both of us right now, but for now i am going to just keep returning to her when she protests and cries to tell her it's ok. she is fine when i'm with her. i don't want to cheat her out of learning to self soothe, but i also don't want to teach her the hard way- something i'm going to avoid. i definitely don't want to lose her trust. i'm just going to keep plugging away. i'm off thru friday and then we have the weekend. wish me luck.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
holiday stress!
ugh, i hate to say it, but now i know why moms get stressed out over the holidays. i always thought "oh they just do it to themselves" when moms would complain about how busy the time is, or how ridiculous it was when they said they needed a vacation after their holiday break to recover, but now i seriously understand!
i'm not the type of person to stress out, or let the little things eat at me. i've always been one to shop in the summer for christmas gifts, to bake and make appetizers in advance, and to really plan out the season. while i did a lot of shopping over the past few months, i still had odds and ends to pick up in the weeks leading up to christmas. as i posted in previous blogs, i mostly was able to finish that in the evenings after lu went to sleep, or on weekends in a 2-3 hour window of time before i had to return home again to feed her. i did plan as much as i could and that time allowed me to do. however, i still felt like i was scrambling and on edge to get everything in order and to make it perfect.
from xmas eve through sunday night, we had solid plans every day. whether it was with family or friends, our days were packed. we spent two nights away from home. we not only had friends that wanted to see us (and vice versa of course) we had out of staters wanting to see or meet lucia also. don't get me wrong, i loved it all and seeing friends and family we don't see very much. it was just a lot of work!
i now understand why they make fancy appetizers to pop in the oven with no prep! as i was scrambling to dip pretzels in chocolate for a parties on saturday and sunday as luci slept for a whopping 30 minutes (her favorite napping time), i thought to myself, this is ridiculous. why am i dipping pretzels when i haven't even sat down to breathe for a week?
what it all boiled down to was i putting too much pressure on myself, trav and lucia.
i wanted to make the perfect appetizers and desserts for our parties for people to enjoy. i had to make sure i didn't forget a thing as we were staying away from home and i was packing for two (trav takes care of himself!)so i made list after list and checked them twice to make sure everythign was in check. i wanted to make being a mom seem effortless and portray the perfect picture of ease and adaptation. as with everything in my life, i wanted to go with the flow. i prayed lucia would be a good girl (which she was the entire time, a social butterfly!) but when her sleeping patterns were a little screwed up at other houses, i found myself making excuses and apologizing and being embarrassed, like it was my fault. PRESSURE. and guess what, being a mom is not easy and my life has changed dramatically. as women we're expected to do it all with little effort. well, we can and do "do it all" but it takes a lot of work! and i need to admit that to myself and others. IT'S HARD.
you know, it's always our grandmas that always make me feel better when i feel like so many others are judging me, or offering me advice i'm never going to take i.e. "you have to let her cry it out." (which i know a lot of people who have used it and say it works, i just don't think it's for us) their wisdom and words mean so much and in their age, they are beyond judgment and recall their days as moms with fondness. both offered the same viewpoints and said "tali, luci is a baby. she knows she's not in her own bed and that her schedule is off. when things are disrupted, she is going to react in her own way. there is nothing you can do. it will be ok." SO TRUE. i just have to learn to go with it and not stress out!
the thing is though, since the holidays began a couple weeks ago during an overnight after a party, she's not been herself at night or during naps. is it because of spending the nights away, or is it because of another stage in her development. i think it's both? after reading "wonder weeks" (thanks meghan for the recommendation) i realize that she's ever changing and while she may have slept like an angel one week, she'll struggle the next. i've found that as of late (the past week and a half or so), she's a lot more needy, and often wakes up immediately when i lay her down in her crib, wanting to be rocked again to sleep. i do it, because i want to comfort her and she's obviously reaching out, but i also want her to be able to self soothe again and put herself back down. lately, instead of gabbing to herself when she wakes up, she cries out and of course i go to her. her once a night of getting up to eat, has turned into anywhere from 3-7 times. only once to eat, but the others to be held and comforted. what gives? what is going through her mind? does she feel ok? is she scared? does she just want to make sure we're there for her and still around? i know they say babies still do not know if you are coming back for them after you leave the room. does she think i abandon her every time i leave? that makes me so sad! i wonder if she feels feelings of anxiety and that is why i am so quick to go to her. as an adult, i've experienced anxiety and it's awful. if a little reassurance is all she needs, i am happy to give it. and i'll continue doing so. i read a quote in dr sears book about letting a baby cry and it said something to the effect of "if your husband was paralyzed and could not speak, and only cry for your attention, would you let him cry alone?" i think we all know the answer to that one! there is a reason she is crying out to me and i want to answer her calls.
i just hope this is a passing phase and my little dream sleeper comes back! she's still not bad, and crying is very minimum, it's just been rough getting up with her when i'm exhausted. trav of course is a huge help and we take turns, because like i said she only needs to eat once, but it's tough being on edge at night wondering how she is going to be. i'm tired.
additionally, i need to stop judging myself inwardly as a parent, when lucia doesn't sleep as well as i'd like her to. it's not my fault. and it's certainly not her fault. she's a baby and together, we're still trying to figure it all out!
i'm not the type of person to stress out, or let the little things eat at me. i've always been one to shop in the summer for christmas gifts, to bake and make appetizers in advance, and to really plan out the season. while i did a lot of shopping over the past few months, i still had odds and ends to pick up in the weeks leading up to christmas. as i posted in previous blogs, i mostly was able to finish that in the evenings after lu went to sleep, or on weekends in a 2-3 hour window of time before i had to return home again to feed her. i did plan as much as i could and that time allowed me to do. however, i still felt like i was scrambling and on edge to get everything in order and to make it perfect.
from xmas eve through sunday night, we had solid plans every day. whether it was with family or friends, our days were packed. we spent two nights away from home. we not only had friends that wanted to see us (and vice versa of course) we had out of staters wanting to see or meet lucia also. don't get me wrong, i loved it all and seeing friends and family we don't see very much. it was just a lot of work!
i now understand why they make fancy appetizers to pop in the oven with no prep! as i was scrambling to dip pretzels in chocolate for a parties on saturday and sunday as luci slept for a whopping 30 minutes (her favorite napping time), i thought to myself, this is ridiculous. why am i dipping pretzels when i haven't even sat down to breathe for a week?
what it all boiled down to was i putting too much pressure on myself, trav and lucia.
i wanted to make the perfect appetizers and desserts for our parties for people to enjoy. i had to make sure i didn't forget a thing as we were staying away from home and i was packing for two (trav takes care of himself!)so i made list after list and checked them twice to make sure everythign was in check. i wanted to make being a mom seem effortless and portray the perfect picture of ease and adaptation. as with everything in my life, i wanted to go with the flow. i prayed lucia would be a good girl (which she was the entire time, a social butterfly!) but when her sleeping patterns were a little screwed up at other houses, i found myself making excuses and apologizing and being embarrassed, like it was my fault. PRESSURE. and guess what, being a mom is not easy and my life has changed dramatically. as women we're expected to do it all with little effort. well, we can and do "do it all" but it takes a lot of work! and i need to admit that to myself and others. IT'S HARD.
you know, it's always our grandmas that always make me feel better when i feel like so many others are judging me, or offering me advice i'm never going to take i.e. "you have to let her cry it out." (which i know a lot of people who have used it and say it works, i just don't think it's for us) their wisdom and words mean so much and in their age, they are beyond judgment and recall their days as moms with fondness. both offered the same viewpoints and said "tali, luci is a baby. she knows she's not in her own bed and that her schedule is off. when things are disrupted, she is going to react in her own way. there is nothing you can do. it will be ok." SO TRUE. i just have to learn to go with it and not stress out!
the thing is though, since the holidays began a couple weeks ago during an overnight after a party, she's not been herself at night or during naps. is it because of spending the nights away, or is it because of another stage in her development. i think it's both? after reading "wonder weeks" (thanks meghan for the recommendation) i realize that she's ever changing and while she may have slept like an angel one week, she'll struggle the next. i've found that as of late (the past week and a half or so), she's a lot more needy, and often wakes up immediately when i lay her down in her crib, wanting to be rocked again to sleep. i do it, because i want to comfort her and she's obviously reaching out, but i also want her to be able to self soothe again and put herself back down. lately, instead of gabbing to herself when she wakes up, she cries out and of course i go to her. her once a night of getting up to eat, has turned into anywhere from 3-7 times. only once to eat, but the others to be held and comforted. what gives? what is going through her mind? does she feel ok? is she scared? does she just want to make sure we're there for her and still around? i know they say babies still do not know if you are coming back for them after you leave the room. does she think i abandon her every time i leave? that makes me so sad! i wonder if she feels feelings of anxiety and that is why i am so quick to go to her. as an adult, i've experienced anxiety and it's awful. if a little reassurance is all she needs, i am happy to give it. and i'll continue doing so. i read a quote in dr sears book about letting a baby cry and it said something to the effect of "if your husband was paralyzed and could not speak, and only cry for your attention, would you let him cry alone?" i think we all know the answer to that one! there is a reason she is crying out to me and i want to answer her calls.
i just hope this is a passing phase and my little dream sleeper comes back! she's still not bad, and crying is very minimum, it's just been rough getting up with her when i'm exhausted. trav of course is a huge help and we take turns, because like i said she only needs to eat once, but it's tough being on edge at night wondering how she is going to be. i'm tired.
additionally, i need to stop judging myself inwardly as a parent, when lucia doesn't sleep as well as i'd like her to. it's not my fault. and it's certainly not her fault. she's a baby and together, we're still trying to figure it all out!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
lucia's first christmas
and wow what a first christmas it was!
i've uploaded the pictures we've captured the past few days filled with many family and friends. lu turned on the charm and was an absolute dream being passed around and celebrated by everyone who loves her. we've been surrounded by family and friends since christmas eve and the girl is a social butterfly.
i am too tired for captions but you'll see some funny pix, namely my brothers opening up rocks inscribed with "suck on this" (an idea we stole from "The Office"), ryan modeling south park boxers, ryan and justin dancing with lucia, and trav opening the obligatory ridiculous gift from ryan - this year they were cut off jean shorts aka JORTS.
we had such a great first christmas with our girl and we are just so blessed... i will write more when i can gather my thoughts and think straight. i am one exhausted mom!
i've uploaded the pictures we've captured the past few days filled with many family and friends. lu turned on the charm and was an absolute dream being passed around and celebrated by everyone who loves her. we've been surrounded by family and friends since christmas eve and the girl is a social butterfly.
i am too tired for captions but you'll see some funny pix, namely my brothers opening up rocks inscribed with "suck on this" (an idea we stole from "The Office"), ryan modeling south park boxers, ryan and justin dancing with lucia, and trav opening the obligatory ridiculous gift from ryan - this year they were cut off jean shorts aka JORTS.
we had such a great first christmas with our girl and we are just so blessed... i will write more when i can gather my thoughts and think straight. i am one exhausted mom!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
can you believe?
"it's almost christmas??" asks the little elf?
"and while we're at it, why do i have this hat on my head?"
"and while we're at it, why do i have this hat on my head?"
Sunday, December 21, 2008
what a weekend
and i'm exhausted!
friday i had our annual girls holiday party which was a ton of fun. tara and i debated going because of the horrendous weather, but we braved it! tara thankfully drove because many know my nerves and savviness behind the wheel on a good day, let alone on a slick night. i would have flipped the car twice over. it was great seeing everyone without children, so we could actually relax and enjoy each other's company.
saturday night was the grand "swingers" christmas event. many know that tim/jane have two couples they hang with almost every single friday. they are formerly known as "the friday night martini group" but we have officially changed their name to simply "the swingers." well each "swinger" couple had a daughter or daughter in law pregnant at the same time last year and we each had girls. sloane is 7 months, meghan is 6 months and lucia is 5 months. every swinger and swinger "junior" got together on saturday at tim/jane's and you'll see in the link of pix below it was quite an event.
maybe it's just me, but when lu is around and it's a social event, i can never TRULY relax. even if i'm not holding her, i'm constantly checking on her to make sure she's happy. if i hear a cry, i nerve up. if she's in my lap and i'm trying to carry on a conversation at length, i feel guilty if i'm not giving her my attention. then i feel even guiltier because i feel like i'm not giving the person i'm speaking with my all. forget about even attempting to tie on a small buzz. it's not worth it when in the back of my mind i'm wondering when lu is going to get up in the middle of the night.
and speaking of, we had a helluva night last night. after the party we decided to stay at tim/jane's because we celebrated christmas with them and tara/jason this morning. i'm not sure what it was, but lucia was up 7 times from the point i put her down at 730, until she woke up for the morning at 730 am. i'm not sure if it was being in a different room, not in her own bed or what (which is what i'm hoping is all it was!) but the girl could not settle. finally, after the 5th time of her getting up, i just put her into bed with me. i told trav to sleep in another room when he came to bed at midnight, just because i knew what her night had already consisted of (i would race to her after seeing her wake up and cry on the monitor)and i didn't want him to have to wake up also. he was buzzed and i was being cool! side note: i love sleeping with her tiny warm body right by mine, but i never can really relax or sleep comfortably because i'm always paranoid i'm going to suffocate her with blankets or something crazy! neruoritc.... anyway...
i sometimes feel a little resentment toward trav as he's yucking it up, having a grand time. i do not expect him to be up with me every time lu is up, because what is the sense of us both being exhausted? but i too wish that i could relax and be myself again at parties. i do understand that the old tali will come back when lucia is sleeping through the night and more self sufficient and not as easy to fuss. don't get me wrong, i still had a lot of fun last night. i just don't feel like i can be my total self and above all, i can never fully relax.
below are some pix from the girls party, the swingers party and lucia sitting on top of her "new" table from grandma and grandpa hylen. it used to be trav's!
one more thing, lu had her first zit this weekend! lol it was right above her lip and really random? i didn't think babies got baby acne after the first few weeks?
friday i had our annual girls holiday party which was a ton of fun. tara and i debated going because of the horrendous weather, but we braved it! tara thankfully drove because many know my nerves and savviness behind the wheel on a good day, let alone on a slick night. i would have flipped the car twice over. it was great seeing everyone without children, so we could actually relax and enjoy each other's company.
saturday night was the grand "swingers" christmas event. many know that tim/jane have two couples they hang with almost every single friday. they are formerly known as "the friday night martini group" but we have officially changed their name to simply "the swingers." well each "swinger" couple had a daughter or daughter in law pregnant at the same time last year and we each had girls. sloane is 7 months, meghan is 6 months and lucia is 5 months. every swinger and swinger "junior" got together on saturday at tim/jane's and you'll see in the link of pix below it was quite an event.
maybe it's just me, but when lu is around and it's a social event, i can never TRULY relax. even if i'm not holding her, i'm constantly checking on her to make sure she's happy. if i hear a cry, i nerve up. if she's in my lap and i'm trying to carry on a conversation at length, i feel guilty if i'm not giving her my attention. then i feel even guiltier because i feel like i'm not giving the person i'm speaking with my all. forget about even attempting to tie on a small buzz. it's not worth it when in the back of my mind i'm wondering when lu is going to get up in the middle of the night.
and speaking of, we had a helluva night last night. after the party we decided to stay at tim/jane's because we celebrated christmas with them and tara/jason this morning. i'm not sure what it was, but lucia was up 7 times from the point i put her down at 730, until she woke up for the morning at 730 am. i'm not sure if it was being in a different room, not in her own bed or what (which is what i'm hoping is all it was!) but the girl could not settle. finally, after the 5th time of her getting up, i just put her into bed with me. i told trav to sleep in another room when he came to bed at midnight, just because i knew what her night had already consisted of (i would race to her after seeing her wake up and cry on the monitor)and i didn't want him to have to wake up also. he was buzzed and i was being cool! side note: i love sleeping with her tiny warm body right by mine, but i never can really relax or sleep comfortably because i'm always paranoid i'm going to suffocate her with blankets or something crazy! neruoritc.... anyway...
i sometimes feel a little resentment toward trav as he's yucking it up, having a grand time. i do not expect him to be up with me every time lu is up, because what is the sense of us both being exhausted? but i too wish that i could relax and be myself again at parties. i do understand that the old tali will come back when lucia is sleeping through the night and more self sufficient and not as easy to fuss. don't get me wrong, i still had a lot of fun last night. i just don't feel like i can be my total self and above all, i can never fully relax.
below are some pix from the girls party, the swingers party and lucia sitting on top of her "new" table from grandma and grandpa hylen. it used to be trav's!
one more thing, lu had her first zit this weekend! lol it was right above her lip and really random? i didn't think babies got baby acne after the first few weeks?
Friday, December 19, 2008
michael jackson
i got hit with the flu bug hard on wednesday. i woke up in the morning and made some toast as i normally do and immediately after eating it i felt nauseous. truthfully, i felt the same way i felt for my entire first trimester pregnant and was a little bit scared. not that it wouldn't be an absolute blessing, i'm just not ready for that again so soon!:)as the day progressed my nausea grew and boom- around 1130 or so the flu hit me like a ton of bricks.
ironically i had just returned from a doctor appt i had for a non related issue (i tore a muscle in my thigh that caused a visible indent in my leg and much pain!) and at the doc i did not have a fever. when i got home, all hell broke loose.
i was freezing, took several baths, was achy, wanted to throw up but couldn't, etc etc. The real indication i had the flu was that i had no appetite whatsoever. when that happens, something is wrong!
thankfully, lucia was at jane's so i was able to rest and not expose her. when trav brought her home that night i just continued pumping and stayed in bed. i was so sad when he brought her in to say hello to me and i couldn't hold or feed her. i know they say to continue feeding your baby when you're sick, i just didn't want to breathe my dragon breath on her. and also, do you know how hard it is not to kiss your baby? i didn't know if i could handle it so i just pumped.
my mom came to spend the night as she was watching luci on thursday anyway so that was a lifesaver. she cleaned and disinfected my entire house and tended to lu while i recovered. after vomiting wednesday night and sweating out a fever overnight, i awoke thursday feeling much better. i finally fed lu around 3 and attempted to do it with a surgical mask on and gloves. i looked like michael jackson! my mom told me to take them off, i would be fine. if she was going to get sick, she would have gotten it by now. i wish i had a picture because i looked ridiculous. i was just so afraid of getting her sick!
i missed feeding her so much for that day and a half. watching her suck down a bottle (while basically holding it all by herself mind you) broke my heart! it's ok when she's at jane's and i'm not available to physically feed her. it was just hard watching her with my own eyes. i know so many people feel tied to breast feeding and see it as more of a burden, but i absolutely love it.
so now i'm feeling almost 100 percent back to myself thank goodness. the appetite is not back totally, but that's ok. i weighed myself this morning and lost 3 lbs! BONUS. lol!
also, i don't know how women do it that don't have family to come and help them during times like sicknesses. my hats off to them! if i hadn't had my mom's help i would have been absolutely miserable. trav is so busy at work that he couldn't have taken time off and i would have just had to have suffered through the flu while taking care of lu. being sick with a baby is a totally different ballgame than it was without. i was able to take care of myself wednesday and yesterday so i could take care of luci today. i feel for women with no outside help!
ironically i had just returned from a doctor appt i had for a non related issue (i tore a muscle in my thigh that caused a visible indent in my leg and much pain!) and at the doc i did not have a fever. when i got home, all hell broke loose.
i was freezing, took several baths, was achy, wanted to throw up but couldn't, etc etc. The real indication i had the flu was that i had no appetite whatsoever. when that happens, something is wrong!
thankfully, lucia was at jane's so i was able to rest and not expose her. when trav brought her home that night i just continued pumping and stayed in bed. i was so sad when he brought her in to say hello to me and i couldn't hold or feed her. i know they say to continue feeding your baby when you're sick, i just didn't want to breathe my dragon breath on her. and also, do you know how hard it is not to kiss your baby? i didn't know if i could handle it so i just pumped.
my mom came to spend the night as she was watching luci on thursday anyway so that was a lifesaver. she cleaned and disinfected my entire house and tended to lu while i recovered. after vomiting wednesday night and sweating out a fever overnight, i awoke thursday feeling much better. i finally fed lu around 3 and attempted to do it with a surgical mask on and gloves. i looked like michael jackson! my mom told me to take them off, i would be fine. if she was going to get sick, she would have gotten it by now. i wish i had a picture because i looked ridiculous. i was just so afraid of getting her sick!
i missed feeding her so much for that day and a half. watching her suck down a bottle (while basically holding it all by herself mind you) broke my heart! it's ok when she's at jane's and i'm not available to physically feed her. it was just hard watching her with my own eyes. i know so many people feel tied to breast feeding and see it as more of a burden, but i absolutely love it.
so now i'm feeling almost 100 percent back to myself thank goodness. the appetite is not back totally, but that's ok. i weighed myself this morning and lost 3 lbs! BONUS. lol!
also, i don't know how women do it that don't have family to come and help them during times like sicknesses. my hats off to them! if i hadn't had my mom's help i would have been absolutely miserable. trav is so busy at work that he couldn't have taken time off and i would have just had to have suffered through the flu while taking care of lu. being sick with a baby is a totally different ballgame than it was without. i was able to take care of myself wednesday and yesterday so i could take care of luci today. i feel for women with no outside help!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
boo hoo
trav whisked lucia away to grandma and grandpa hylen's this morning. every time, i get so sad and hate to let her go. i know i know, many of my working mom friends that read this whom have to send their children away every day probably want to strangle me for being sad because i do have an ideal situation. one day a week away from me is not bad at all! it's just that this old house seems so empty when she's away! bailey would like to think otherwise and really enjoys his wednesdays with his mom. just like old times...
i got REALLY lucky with my babysitting situation with lucia. mallori had her mondays, erica (an msu student and old friend of mal's) on tuesday and thursdays and jane has her on wednesdays. when jane had chemo treatments, my mom or dad was able to cover those days. recently my dad has covered a couple more days too because erica is on winter break and we switched some days around.
next semester my mom or dad or trav will have her on mondays, erica again on tuesday and thursdays and jane on wednesdays. it doesn't get any better than that. she'll miss her auntie mal, but mallori starts student teaching in january so we lost her!
i would be jealous if one of the above people had her every single day. we switched days around last week, and erica had her monday and tuesday and when she arrived tuesday morning, lu got so excited to see her. it's awesome because whomever watches her loves her so much and she really enjoys interaction with them.
last week i had been working away and looked at the clock and realized over three hours had passed (or more) since she'd eaten or that i'd heard my dad bring her upstairs past my office to nap. i went downstairs to see if she was hungry and was greeted by a jidu cracking up and a baby squealing at herself in the mirror. i asked my dad if she was hungry and he said probably "and tired too." lol well when i looked at her glassy eyes, i knew she needed milk and sleep, but she was having too much fun!
the best thing about working from home and having her here is that i don't have to pump. i can just feed her as i would be taking time to pump in an office anyway. might as well give her the real deal. those 20 minutes i feed her twice or so a day during my work day are treasured minutes. even in the busyness of the day, the fact that i'm able to make time to feed lucia is so wonderful. if in the middle of deadline or hectic meetings, it gives me pause for thought to realize life is not that "serious" and to relax. work will get done.
i got REALLY lucky with my babysitting situation with lucia. mallori had her mondays, erica (an msu student and old friend of mal's) on tuesday and thursdays and jane has her on wednesdays. when jane had chemo treatments, my mom or dad was able to cover those days. recently my dad has covered a couple more days too because erica is on winter break and we switched some days around.
next semester my mom or dad or trav will have her on mondays, erica again on tuesday and thursdays and jane on wednesdays. it doesn't get any better than that. she'll miss her auntie mal, but mallori starts student teaching in january so we lost her!
i would be jealous if one of the above people had her every single day. we switched days around last week, and erica had her monday and tuesday and when she arrived tuesday morning, lu got so excited to see her. it's awesome because whomever watches her loves her so much and she really enjoys interaction with them.
last week i had been working away and looked at the clock and realized over three hours had passed (or more) since she'd eaten or that i'd heard my dad bring her upstairs past my office to nap. i went downstairs to see if she was hungry and was greeted by a jidu cracking up and a baby squealing at herself in the mirror. i asked my dad if she was hungry and he said probably "and tired too." lol well when i looked at her glassy eyes, i knew she needed milk and sleep, but she was having too much fun!
the best thing about working from home and having her here is that i don't have to pump. i can just feed her as i would be taking time to pump in an office anyway. might as well give her the real deal. those 20 minutes i feed her twice or so a day during my work day are treasured minutes. even in the busyness of the day, the fact that i'm able to make time to feed lucia is so wonderful. if in the middle of deadline or hectic meetings, it gives me pause for thought to realize life is not that "serious" and to relax. work will get done.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
sleepy sleepy
i just took another bath with lu tonight and am completely relaxed. after a bath, feeding and rocking her, it's the most relaxed i could possibly be. i feel like i just had a glass of wine and want to cuddle on the couch! i am not leaving the house tonight , that is for sure.
i did however go shopping last night after i put lu down. i posted about my shopping trip on saturday and mentioned i was a little tied to schedule as i had to go home to feed lu in the middle of my trip. i didn't mind because the mall was insane anyway. so i decided to finish up my shopping last night. additionally i had a few things to take back, one of which i SHOPLIFTED.
ok so let me back up. i was trying on a shirt at new york and company that i ended up buying and while it was on, i put a necklace on that i liked on the rack. it was cute, but i didn't really need it so i thought, why bother. well i ended up trying on a few more things and completely forgot about the necklace around my neck. i paid for my purchases, with the necklace in full view i'm sure, and went on my merry way. when i returned home i happened to touch a necklace i wear daily and my hand also grasped the choker i stole! i gasped and trav just laughed and then i contemplated what i was going to do next.
i would be lying if i said i didn't think about keeping it. the little devil in me thought, why go through the hassle of returning it, it was only 10 dollars, bla bla bla. then, like a ton of bricks it hit me and my inner conscious said "what would you tell luci to do?" well of course we know that answer. i'm not about to raise my daughter to be some kind of shoplifting heathen!
when i bashfully returned to the store, necklace in hand and explained my story to the two women workers, they were super impressed i would even bring it back. they showered me with praise and i have to admit, it felt good. i felt like a good person! when they brought their FOUL manager up to the checkout to take care of the return he said "so what is the story with this necklace?" i quickly explained and ended my story with "so i had to bring it back because i felt like..." and before i could finish with "i had to of course" he said "oh you felt like a THIEF?" with no smile or hint of sarcasm at all. this dude was a total d*ck! i had seen him in action on saturday and truly he should have not been in retail. anyway, i was embarrassed and quickly left the store. so much for honesty! at least i know i did the right thing.
next time i'll just keep it! i kid i kid. i hope there is not a next time. can you imagine if i'd been stopped for shoplifting? i would have been mortified!
on another note, i've come to figure out i can not eat seafood until i am done breastfeeding. her vomiting has slowed down considerably, however, lately there have been days lately that lucia has puked epic proportions. once during the night when i burped her, she spewed on me so hard, i had to completely change her and then myself. that night, i had eaten tilapia for dinner. another time, her poop was so foul, i couldn't believe the stench and i had eaten sushi that day. sunday, was a sushi night again, and she barfed so hard on monday morning i realized it. i am off seafood until she's off my milk. it sucks, because i LOVE sushi and don't eat pork or beef but it's worth it so the little quweetie doesn't have gut rot!i can live without sushi for a while...
i did however go shopping last night after i put lu down. i posted about my shopping trip on saturday and mentioned i was a little tied to schedule as i had to go home to feed lu in the middle of my trip. i didn't mind because the mall was insane anyway. so i decided to finish up my shopping last night. additionally i had a few things to take back, one of which i SHOPLIFTED.
ok so let me back up. i was trying on a shirt at new york and company that i ended up buying and while it was on, i put a necklace on that i liked on the rack. it was cute, but i didn't really need it so i thought, why bother. well i ended up trying on a few more things and completely forgot about the necklace around my neck. i paid for my purchases, with the necklace in full view i'm sure, and went on my merry way. when i returned home i happened to touch a necklace i wear daily and my hand also grasped the choker i stole! i gasped and trav just laughed and then i contemplated what i was going to do next.
i would be lying if i said i didn't think about keeping it. the little devil in me thought, why go through the hassle of returning it, it was only 10 dollars, bla bla bla. then, like a ton of bricks it hit me and my inner conscious said "what would you tell luci to do?" well of course we know that answer. i'm not about to raise my daughter to be some kind of shoplifting heathen!
when i bashfully returned to the store, necklace in hand and explained my story to the two women workers, they were super impressed i would even bring it back. they showered me with praise and i have to admit, it felt good. i felt like a good person! when they brought their FOUL manager up to the checkout to take care of the return he said "so what is the story with this necklace?" i quickly explained and ended my story with "so i had to bring it back because i felt like..." and before i could finish with "i had to of course" he said "oh you felt like a THIEF?" with no smile or hint of sarcasm at all. this dude was a total d*ck! i had seen him in action on saturday and truly he should have not been in retail. anyway, i was embarrassed and quickly left the store. so much for honesty! at least i know i did the right thing.
next time i'll just keep it! i kid i kid. i hope there is not a next time. can you imagine if i'd been stopped for shoplifting? i would have been mortified!
on another note, i've come to figure out i can not eat seafood until i am done breastfeeding. her vomiting has slowed down considerably, however, lately there have been days lately that lucia has puked epic proportions. once during the night when i burped her, she spewed on me so hard, i had to completely change her and then myself. that night, i had eaten tilapia for dinner. another time, her poop was so foul, i couldn't believe the stench and i had eaten sushi that day. sunday, was a sushi night again, and she barfed so hard on monday morning i realized it. i am off seafood until she's off my milk. it sucks, because i LOVE sushi and don't eat pork or beef but it's worth it so the little quweetie doesn't have gut rot!i can live without sushi for a while...
Sunday, December 14, 2008
some luci pix and some cleavage
you'll see what i mean by the title as you click through the slide show. trav and i gave lucia her first big bath yesterday, meaning i got in the tub with her and held her. i wore a bathing suit because i knew pix would be taken, plus i don't want to expose my naked post pregnancy body to the poor girl yet. i told trav specifically to not get me in the pictures, namely my chest. well, the shots say it all.
also check out lu's new pink flannel bonnet and "snugs" her boots from carrie jones that are the baby's uggs. ridiculous!
our weekend was pretty mellow. friday we were supposed to have a play date at amy and logan moon's but logan had a ear infection and fever so that was canceled. today we had plans to go hang out with the terry's, but olivia and addie were both sick as well! two fun dates canceled but such is life with babies. it seems among my friends, there is always one sick little one!
i'm almost done with my holiday shopping. normally, i'm completely anal and get things done well before the season. this year is a bit different because my shopping excursions are scattered and timed. i finished quite a bit yesterday and managed to buy myself some clothes as well to make me feel less of a mom beast during my 2 hour trip. the deals out there are insane!
here are some fun pix:
also check out lu's new pink flannel bonnet and "snugs" her boots from carrie jones that are the baby's uggs. ridiculous!
our weekend was pretty mellow. friday we were supposed to have a play date at amy and logan moon's but logan had a ear infection and fever so that was canceled. today we had plans to go hang out with the terry's, but olivia and addie were both sick as well! two fun dates canceled but such is life with babies. it seems among my friends, there is always one sick little one!
i'm almost done with my holiday shopping. normally, i'm completely anal and get things done well before the season. this year is a bit different because my shopping excursions are scattered and timed. i finished quite a bit yesterday and managed to buy myself some clothes as well to make me feel less of a mom beast during my 2 hour trip. the deals out there are insane!
here are some fun pix:
Friday, December 12, 2008
200 dollar facials
i have a few groups of really close girlfriends (you know who you are!) and we've always made a point to schedule girl's weekends and nights out. one of my groups is comprised mostly of moms and another, is made up of five queens that treat themselves to the luxurious things life without batting an eye. up until the time i got pregnant, i was a queen as well, however, times have changed. LOL
case in point, this weekend the queens are in chicago living it up. as much as i would have loved to go, it was just not an option for me this year. for one, i just can't leave lu yet. additionally, who can afford a huge weekend in chicago? oh wait, the queens, that's who.
last night, molli called to say hi and of course i was curious as to what they had done all day and what their plans for the night and rest of the weekend were. molli, dude,linz and busie had flown in wednesday and thursday and enjoyed thursday walking around town and hanging out. a couple of them stayed at a hotel and a couple at erin/rory's. molli informed me that they were going to see the dirty dancing play last night and then had dinner reservations at 1015 LOL! i would have been famished had i been there, and also, exhausted as 1015 is my maximum these days!
today they were treating themselves to a facial. but no, it was not just any old facial, rather a $200 FACIAL AT THE BLISS SPA! again i ask, who can afford that? as i told molli, i've substituted my beloved aveda facial products for aveeno to save money and they're just blowing 200 on a one time facial!?
it's so amazing how different so many aspects of our lives are but yet so similar we remain. i'm so thankful for that. my married/mom friends certainly keep me grounded and can relate to my current life, however, it's the single/momless friends that remind me of who i was! i call my mom friends for kid advice and my single friends just to b.s. and hear about their exciting lives. like i've said before, they all enrich my life so much. i am SO LUCKY to have such great friends.
trav said i sure sounded jealous in talking about this trip and i admit i am! there is nothing like a girls weekend of drinking, shopping, spending money, LAUGHING, reminiscing, eating, partying, getting spa treatments, relaxing... but as molli said, i'd give up a 200 facial for that sweet baby girl lucia. i have to say i 100 percent agree! the girls weekends will resume (in fact i am planning a friday night away in january with some high school and college friends)but until they do completely, i'll have the stories!
case in point, this weekend the queens are in chicago living it up. as much as i would have loved to go, it was just not an option for me this year. for one, i just can't leave lu yet. additionally, who can afford a huge weekend in chicago? oh wait, the queens, that's who.
last night, molli called to say hi and of course i was curious as to what they had done all day and what their plans for the night and rest of the weekend were. molli, dude,linz and busie had flown in wednesday and thursday and enjoyed thursday walking around town and hanging out. a couple of them stayed at a hotel and a couple at erin/rory's. molli informed me that they were going to see the dirty dancing play last night and then had dinner reservations at 1015 LOL! i would have been famished had i been there, and also, exhausted as 1015 is my maximum these days!
today they were treating themselves to a facial. but no, it was not just any old facial, rather a $200 FACIAL AT THE BLISS SPA! again i ask, who can afford that? as i told molli, i've substituted my beloved aveda facial products for aveeno to save money and they're just blowing 200 on a one time facial!?
it's so amazing how different so many aspects of our lives are but yet so similar we remain. i'm so thankful for that. my married/mom friends certainly keep me grounded and can relate to my current life, however, it's the single/momless friends that remind me of who i was! i call my mom friends for kid advice and my single friends just to b.s. and hear about their exciting lives. like i've said before, they all enrich my life so much. i am SO LUCKY to have such great friends.
trav said i sure sounded jealous in talking about this trip and i admit i am! there is nothing like a girls weekend of drinking, shopping, spending money, LAUGHING, reminiscing, eating, partying, getting spa treatments, relaxing... but as molli said, i'd give up a 200 facial for that sweet baby girl lucia. i have to say i 100 percent agree! the girls weekends will resume (in fact i am planning a friday night away in january with some high school and college friends)but until they do completely, i'll have the stories!
almost 5 months update
lu will be 5 months on tuesday and she is such a big girl now!
she's talking SO MUCH blabbering on and on. her noises are so sweet, from the conversations she has to her high pitched squeals.
she LOVES bailey. she really reaches for him and is learning how to pet "nice." she always goes for his ears and likes to tug them and i have to tell her to "be nice." he's a sport, he just stands there staring straight ahead as if to say "when is this going to be over?" but he does allow her to pet him.
she's also trying to reach for us when we are about to pick her up. she still communicates a lot with her eyes "pick me up pick me up!" but you really can tell she wants to reach hard with her arms too.
i'm really working with her to roll over. when she was tiny she rolled over twice for us because she was so wiggly. we do a lot of tummy time, and when i push her arms toward her body to help her hold herself up, she flips over no problem. when she's left to flip herself, she inevitably gets p*ssed off and wants to be back on her backor in my arms. lol
her naps are still most often around the 30 minute mark unless i (or her babysitters) reach her to intervene in time. she is still sleeping really great at night, eating only once and then getting up for the day around 7-730-8 (except for a few flukes).
she takes 3 naps a day and goes down for bed around 7ish.
when i hold her and rock her to sleep, she is reaching and playing with my face all the time now (same goes for anyone else that rocks her to sleep). she's also fascinated with hands. also it's amazing to me how much she has grown in length since she was born. her long body drapes across me and i forget how tiny she once was. it makes my heart ache.
she likes to be put in a front pack and dance with me. i can't get down super hard because i don't like to shake her up (she's still a puker!) but we groove to my fun mixes. she loves watching herself in the mirror when we dance and acts proud to be in the pack. i still am not a big fan of the packs myself as i'm already top heavy enough, but i do find them convenient and fun for lucia.
she's really starting to sit up for longer intervals. i still have to be right by her, but she's really getting stronger.
she laughs hard out loud a lot. she loves when we blow on her stomach, kiss her feet and kiss her chubby cheeks.
her favorite toy is a sophie the giraffe. it's the best teething toy and am so glad i bought it. click here to check it out if you have a teething baby that puts everything in his/her mouth.
and there you have it. the life of a 5 month old!
she's talking SO MUCH blabbering on and on. her noises are so sweet, from the conversations she has to her high pitched squeals.
she LOVES bailey. she really reaches for him and is learning how to pet "nice." she always goes for his ears and likes to tug them and i have to tell her to "be nice." he's a sport, he just stands there staring straight ahead as if to say "when is this going to be over?" but he does allow her to pet him.
she's also trying to reach for us when we are about to pick her up. she still communicates a lot with her eyes "pick me up pick me up!" but you really can tell she wants to reach hard with her arms too.
i'm really working with her to roll over. when she was tiny she rolled over twice for us because she was so wiggly. we do a lot of tummy time, and when i push her arms toward her body to help her hold herself up, she flips over no problem. when she's left to flip herself, she inevitably gets p*ssed off and wants to be back on her backor in my arms. lol
her naps are still most often around the 30 minute mark unless i (or her babysitters) reach her to intervene in time. she is still sleeping really great at night, eating only once and then getting up for the day around 7-730-8 (except for a few flukes).
she takes 3 naps a day and goes down for bed around 7ish.
when i hold her and rock her to sleep, she is reaching and playing with my face all the time now (same goes for anyone else that rocks her to sleep). she's also fascinated with hands. also it's amazing to me how much she has grown in length since she was born. her long body drapes across me and i forget how tiny she once was. it makes my heart ache.
she likes to be put in a front pack and dance with me. i can't get down super hard because i don't like to shake her up (she's still a puker!) but we groove to my fun mixes. she loves watching herself in the mirror when we dance and acts proud to be in the pack. i still am not a big fan of the packs myself as i'm already top heavy enough, but i do find them convenient and fun for lucia.
she's really starting to sit up for longer intervals. i still have to be right by her, but she's really getting stronger.
she laughs hard out loud a lot. she loves when we blow on her stomach, kiss her feet and kiss her chubby cheeks.
her favorite toy is a sophie the giraffe. it's the best teething toy and am so glad i bought it. click here to check it out if you have a teething baby that puts everything in his/her mouth.
and there you have it. the life of a 5 month old!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
march of dimes
March of Dimes is doubling your donation through the end of the year! i don't know about you all, but when i can't volunteer my time, i give money. and also, when i feel like my prayers of thanks are not enough i again, give money. i think about how lucky i am to have a healthy baby and my heart breaks for all the babies that organizations like march of dimes help and i want to help them too!
click here to donate!!!!!!!!!!!
all the cool kids are doing it!
click here to donate!!!!!!!!!!!
all the cool kids are doing it!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
the two best noises ever
1. hearing a baby laugh, especially if it's YOUR baby
2. hearing a baby have loud, explosive gas. again, especially if it's your baby!
they both get me every time!!!
that is my deep thought of the night. i'm tired and just finished up some work. i swear, working four days a week has me working a lot of nights after i put lu down, because i'm still carrying a five day workload. hey, i'm not complaining. i'm happy to have work and have a job. as it is, a lot of clients are cutting their retainers and even canceling. pr/advertising is a commodity and often, we're the first "luxury" to go when times are tight. it sucks! i know things will get better. we just have to keep saying that and believing it. i feel like a broken record. i'm sure we all do.
additionally, i just got home from the gym. we have tv's and dvd's on every cardio machine, so it really makes a workout easier. however, i channel surfed the entire time i was there because there was nothing on. sometimes i think i miss cable, but overall i am so glad we got rid of it. on sunday at the gym, i ended up watching a disgusting episode of "charm school with sharon osborne" and tonight i flipped through mtv "true life", some compilation of the best 80's songs on vh-1, and the biggest loser (which i don't mind.) i'm sure someday we'll get cable back, then again, who knows? i grew up not allowed to watch cable tv at all, even though i snuck it every chance i got. i remember a sleepover i had with lundy and we were sneaking the usa network "up all night." (remember that?) anyway, my dad happened to come downstairs that night (remember sleepovers taking over your living room with sleeping bags? we never had tv's in our rooms) and right as he came to check on us the tv blared "and now back to PORKY'S REVENGE!" we were told to turn it off immediately. LOL
side note: i hate it when people feel compelled to sneak in the "i just worked out line" (kelly- i think of bill every time!) just so people know they worked out. i just had to include it for the purpose of the story, in talking about cable.
ok look i said i was tired and i just rambled on and on, my specialty. i have to take a shower.
2. hearing a baby have loud, explosive gas. again, especially if it's your baby!
they both get me every time!!!
that is my deep thought of the night. i'm tired and just finished up some work. i swear, working four days a week has me working a lot of nights after i put lu down, because i'm still carrying a five day workload. hey, i'm not complaining. i'm happy to have work and have a job. as it is, a lot of clients are cutting their retainers and even canceling. pr/advertising is a commodity and often, we're the first "luxury" to go when times are tight. it sucks! i know things will get better. we just have to keep saying that and believing it. i feel like a broken record. i'm sure we all do.
additionally, i just got home from the gym. we have tv's and dvd's on every cardio machine, so it really makes a workout easier. however, i channel surfed the entire time i was there because there was nothing on. sometimes i think i miss cable, but overall i am so glad we got rid of it. on sunday at the gym, i ended up watching a disgusting episode of "charm school with sharon osborne" and tonight i flipped through mtv "true life", some compilation of the best 80's songs on vh-1, and the biggest loser (which i don't mind.) i'm sure someday we'll get cable back, then again, who knows? i grew up not allowed to watch cable tv at all, even though i snuck it every chance i got. i remember a sleepover i had with lundy and we were sneaking the usa network "up all night." (remember that?) anyway, my dad happened to come downstairs that night (remember sleepovers taking over your living room with sleeping bags? we never had tv's in our rooms) and right as he came to check on us the tv blared "and now back to PORKY'S REVENGE!" we were told to turn it off immediately. LOL
side note: i hate it when people feel compelled to sneak in the "i just worked out line" (kelly- i think of bill every time!) just so people know they worked out. i just had to include it for the purpose of the story, in talking about cable.
ok look i said i was tired and i just rambled on and on, my specialty. i have to take a shower.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
christmas fast approaching
i can't believe how fast time is flying and how christmas is almost here. we got a lot of shopping done this weekend, but definitely still have a ways to go. it's hard to shop with a baby. the stroller is cumbersome, especially at jam packed stores. it's hard to schlep lu to and from different places, in the snow. and you only have a small window of opportunity to shop, as we're on lu's feeding schedule. i have no problem feeding her in public with a nursing cover on (and too bad to those who are offended by that! shame on them!) but since so many stores are so close to our place, i just plan accordingly and do two or so at a time before i come home to feed and change her. plus public changing tables bogue me out to no end, so i'd rather not use them. also, now with lucia going down around 730 every night, i have the luxury of sneaking off alone to do shopping on weeknights, which is so nice. so i think i can get most of my shopping done on weeknights from here on out!
trav's work camera broke so i've been bad with picture taking this week as he's been using our digital in the meantime. plus, i want to give our girl a break from posed pictures, as i expressed in an earlier blog. however, i took one of the cutest pictures this weekend i have to put here.
warning, extreme cuteness follows!
trav's work camera broke so i've been bad with picture taking this week as he's been using our digital in the meantime. plus, i want to give our girl a break from posed pictures, as i expressed in an earlier blog. however, i took one of the cutest pictures this weekend i have to put here.
warning, extreme cuteness follows!
sleep!
as i read and follow my fellow mom friend bloggers, it seems we are all obsessed with sleep. putting baby to bed, how often, how long, techniques, training, etc.- we are absolutely consumed. and rightfully so.
i said before, it's almost as if i don't want to say it outloud, but lu is a very good sleeper. it pains me to read or hear tales of other mom friends exhausted, dealing with a wailing baby, unable to be soothed. i can't imagine it. but who's not to say that i won't escape unscathed by the sleep demons. a little one crept into our lives last night and gave me a TINY glimpse into what so many moms deal with for months on end.
lu went down early with no problem, around 630 because she hadn't taken an evening nap. she fell asleep while nursing and didn't drink as much as usual, so i'm hoping this was the issue. she awoke at 1 am alert and gabbing. i didn't think she was hungry (but in retrospect probably should have just fed her at 1) so i went in to rock her back down and twice she woke back up when i laid her in her bed. i then sent trav in. he did the same once and she awoke. by this time it was close to 3 so i thought, ok she's probably hungry. i'd been up for 2 solid hours at this time so i fed her. she went down and awoke at 430. again at 6. again at 7. i fed her at that time and she went back down until about 830 which was a godsend because i needed a bit more sleep. as i was dealing with her wakings last night i just kept thinking about all the poor moms that deal with night waking EVERY night, and not the pleasant kind, but rather screams and cries and the unable to be soothed baby. i can't imagine it! so many people can judge and say "i could never attempt the cry it out method" but you never know what you "can" or need to do when you are so sleep deprived you can't function as a human being.
i'm hoping tonight lu goes back to being her "old" sleeping self. i have always maintained i haven't minded the waking with lu at night to feed her. because for the most part, it's always been pleasant. however, i would be lying if i didn't say now that i've gotten used to her only waking once a night, so i'd hate to go back to where we were before! sleep is nice. i do actually fantasize about the day when i'll get a full night sleep. i can't really remember what that feels like. and i will say prayers for my fellow moms dealing with babies fighting sleep. hoping that maybe by christmas, they will have a silent night.
i said before, it's almost as if i don't want to say it outloud, but lu is a very good sleeper. it pains me to read or hear tales of other mom friends exhausted, dealing with a wailing baby, unable to be soothed. i can't imagine it. but who's not to say that i won't escape unscathed by the sleep demons. a little one crept into our lives last night and gave me a TINY glimpse into what so many moms deal with for months on end.
lu went down early with no problem, around 630 because she hadn't taken an evening nap. she fell asleep while nursing and didn't drink as much as usual, so i'm hoping this was the issue. she awoke at 1 am alert and gabbing. i didn't think she was hungry (but in retrospect probably should have just fed her at 1) so i went in to rock her back down and twice she woke back up when i laid her in her bed. i then sent trav in. he did the same once and she awoke. by this time it was close to 3 so i thought, ok she's probably hungry. i'd been up for 2 solid hours at this time so i fed her. she went down and awoke at 430. again at 6. again at 7. i fed her at that time and she went back down until about 830 which was a godsend because i needed a bit more sleep. as i was dealing with her wakings last night i just kept thinking about all the poor moms that deal with night waking EVERY night, and not the pleasant kind, but rather screams and cries and the unable to be soothed baby. i can't imagine it! so many people can judge and say "i could never attempt the cry it out method" but you never know what you "can" or need to do when you are so sleep deprived you can't function as a human being.
i'm hoping tonight lu goes back to being her "old" sleeping self. i have always maintained i haven't minded the waking with lu at night to feed her. because for the most part, it's always been pleasant. however, i would be lying if i didn't say now that i've gotten used to her only waking once a night, so i'd hate to go back to where we were before! sleep is nice. i do actually fantasize about the day when i'll get a full night sleep. i can't really remember what that feels like. and i will say prayers for my fellow moms dealing with babies fighting sleep. hoping that maybe by christmas, they will have a silent night.
Friday, December 5, 2008
little miss napper
i'm sitting upstairs watching lu on her monitor as she sleeps. she's been down for 40 minutes with zero interventions. loving it! but i'm still up here ready to sprint if she stirs so i can lengthen her nap. the nooks and i were just chatting on the phone about sleep training and how babies definitely need it to be healthy and happy. because their central nervous systems aren't developed enough to sleep for long periods of time, many babies need some form of training and interventions as they grow.
i wasn't educated on this prior to lu. if i'd heard of a mom that sat watchful upstairs while her baby slept to intervene if necessary, or creeped around shushing her husband if he talked to loud while she was down, i'm sure i'd have scoffed at them. "that's ridiculous" i would have thought!
when a few of us moms were trying to organize an upcoming play date and were attempting to pick the best time, we all agreed we're a slave to our kid's sleep schedules. i remember when sarah p, whom was one of the first of my friends to have kids, would visit us, her schedule and time she'd come over would depend on when her sweet girls woke up. i would think "can't she just fudge it and come over sooner???" because i really wanted to see her. now i know the answer- and that is NO! unless it's a really really special occasion, and you know it's worth throwing your baby off for a few days. but even then you think twice because sometimes it's just not worth it! and the friends or family that you're working around are not the ones that are going to be up at night with your child! i always think, i've known my friends and family for many many years and have hung with them more times i can count. i've known lu for 5 months in this world. she's my top priority!
the biggest mistake i made pre-lucia was passing judgements on mom friends because of sleep schedules, or other ways they chose to raise their child. it wasn't often, as i admit i didn't think twice much because i was too wrapped up in my childless self, but even still, I'M DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF BECAUSE OF THIS. when people scoff at me for my decisions, or treat me with disrespect because of a choice i've made in raising my daughter, it's one of the most hurtful things they can do. we don't all make the same decisions and that's cool. we're all doing the best we can.
i wasn't educated on this prior to lu. if i'd heard of a mom that sat watchful upstairs while her baby slept to intervene if necessary, or creeped around shushing her husband if he talked to loud while she was down, i'm sure i'd have scoffed at them. "that's ridiculous" i would have thought!
when a few of us moms were trying to organize an upcoming play date and were attempting to pick the best time, we all agreed we're a slave to our kid's sleep schedules. i remember when sarah p, whom was one of the first of my friends to have kids, would visit us, her schedule and time she'd come over would depend on when her sweet girls woke up. i would think "can't she just fudge it and come over sooner???" because i really wanted to see her. now i know the answer- and that is NO! unless it's a really really special occasion, and you know it's worth throwing your baby off for a few days. but even then you think twice because sometimes it's just not worth it! and the friends or family that you're working around are not the ones that are going to be up at night with your child! i always think, i've known my friends and family for many many years and have hung with them more times i can count. i've known lu for 5 months in this world. she's my top priority!
the biggest mistake i made pre-lucia was passing judgements on mom friends because of sleep schedules, or other ways they chose to raise their child. it wasn't often, as i admit i didn't think twice much because i was too wrapped up in my childless self, but even still, I'M DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF BECAUSE OF THIS. when people scoff at me for my decisions, or treat me with disrespect because of a choice i've made in raising my daughter, it's one of the most hurtful things they can do. we don't all make the same decisions and that's cool. we're all doing the best we can.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
this old house
i love our old house. it was exactly what we were looking for nearly four years ago, and then some. i love the intricate details, and built ins in a few of the rooms. i appreciate the fact that it was built in 1930 and has a lot of character. our neighborhood is charming and quaint and the sidewalks are always full with people walking to and from campus and downtown. it makes winter more manageable. i especially our house now, during the holiday season, with decorations up and a little one to enjoy it all.
however, the one thing i didn't notice before luci, but that's killing me now, are the creaking floor boards! it's impossible for me to peek in on her at night and watch her breathe without causing her to kick up her legs or flail her arms. thank goodness for our video monitor. i want to spy on her all the time, but hold myself back for fear i'm going to wake her! spending the night at my inlaws this past weekend made me realize how nice a brand new house is when it comes to stalking your children. ha
but in looking toward the future, miss luci will never be able to sneak out under my watchful ears! i will immediately hear a creeping of feet down a hallway. so i guess i need to take the good with the bad. now, the floor drives me batty but when she's a teenager, i'll love it!
we say she won't get away with much, because trav and i both know the tricks of the trade. but if she does attempt to, which we all know she will, i pray she's like her dad in that respect. too smart to get caught. unlike me, who spent my entire high school career grounded and filled with angst against my parents for punishing me for my stupidity. my siblings learned from my mistakes though, and were rarely in trouble. that, or my parents got tired of it by the time everyone else was in high school, which is quite possible!
however, the one thing i didn't notice before luci, but that's killing me now, are the creaking floor boards! it's impossible for me to peek in on her at night and watch her breathe without causing her to kick up her legs or flail her arms. thank goodness for our video monitor. i want to spy on her all the time, but hold myself back for fear i'm going to wake her! spending the night at my inlaws this past weekend made me realize how nice a brand new house is when it comes to stalking your children. ha
but in looking toward the future, miss luci will never be able to sneak out under my watchful ears! i will immediately hear a creeping of feet down a hallway. so i guess i need to take the good with the bad. now, the floor drives me batty but when she's a teenager, i'll love it!
we say she won't get away with much, because trav and i both know the tricks of the trade. but if she does attempt to, which we all know she will, i pray she's like her dad in that respect. too smart to get caught. unlike me, who spent my entire high school career grounded and filled with angst against my parents for punishing me for my stupidity. my siblings learned from my mistakes though, and were rarely in trouble. that, or my parents got tired of it by the time everyone else was in high school, which is quite possible!
Monday, December 1, 2008
shopping
i put lu down and just finished some holiday shopping for a family the hylens "adopted" this christmas. instead of buying an expensive gift for a member of the extended family, we took the money we would have otherwise spent and put it toward a needy family. while it felt good going out and spending money on kids and a baby that really needed clothes, socks and shoes, it also mad me feel really sad. sad that there are so many people out there that don't have much at all. now that i have a baby, it really hits me in the heart. not that it didn't before, but it's just different now. times are tough, but i always realize they could be so much worse.
as i was shopping for a couple of the kids, i was thinking about my cousins who are about the same age as a boy and a girl we bought for. i was thinking about how they never go without and how they are so lucky. i thought back to myself at that age, and how i never went without either but you don't realize how lucky you are to have been born so fortunate until years later. and really, it's what it boils down to. being born fortunate... anyway, i was struggling with what kind of pants to buy an 10 year old boy- straight leg jeans or baggy jeans? so i called my cousin luke on his cell phone (of course he has one!). he didn't answer, but his sister carley did. i told her i needed to talk to him, to get some advice on what to buy a boy in his age range. carley responds in her monotone, teenage voice "well he just got in trouble for calling me a sl*t, but here he is." LOL in the midst of my emotional shopping trip, counting my blessings, thanking god for my family's health and financial stability, i couldn't help but shake my head and laugh at that! when you're a teenager, you're not thinking about other kids not having as much at the holidays, or how good life is. you're sitting at home getting in trouble for calling your sister a ridiculous name you heard at school or on a pg-13 movie. ahhhh, how life evolves. i'll be sure to remind them both of this story a few years from now!
as i was shopping for a couple of the kids, i was thinking about my cousins who are about the same age as a boy and a girl we bought for. i was thinking about how they never go without and how they are so lucky. i thought back to myself at that age, and how i never went without either but you don't realize how lucky you are to have been born so fortunate until years later. and really, it's what it boils down to. being born fortunate... anyway, i was struggling with what kind of pants to buy an 10 year old boy- straight leg jeans or baggy jeans? so i called my cousin luke on his cell phone (of course he has one!). he didn't answer, but his sister carley did. i told her i needed to talk to him, to get some advice on what to buy a boy in his age range. carley responds in her monotone, teenage voice "well he just got in trouble for calling me a sl*t, but here he is." LOL in the midst of my emotional shopping trip, counting my blessings, thanking god for my family's health and financial stability, i couldn't help but shake my head and laugh at that! when you're a teenager, you're not thinking about other kids not having as much at the holidays, or how good life is. you're sitting at home getting in trouble for calling your sister a ridiculous name you heard at school or on a pg-13 movie. ahhhh, how life evolves. i'll be sure to remind them both of this story a few years from now!
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