burying our parents

sorry for the morbid title, but i just keep thinking "we are way to young to be burying our parents." monday, maureen's, aka "the dude" dad died. he had a heart attack at home and died in their living room. he was 61. today was the funeral.
nearly 5 years ago, lindsey's dad died of cancer. it's unbelievable to me that two of my best friends have lost their fathers. the first thought that comes to my mind and many minds is that 1. they will never be able to walk their daughters down the aisle and 2. they didn't get the chance to be grandparents, god's reward for growing older.
it makes me so sad.
naturally, during the funeral today, as the priest, his brother and his son were honoring him with words and memories, i thought about what it would be like to bury my dad. i can't even imagine. you take for granted your parents in so many ways for so many years, but i think finally, i've learned to appreciate them and honor them as they should be. i'm happy i gave them the greatest gift i could give, lucia, as my mom says is "the first diamond in her grandy crown." i don't even want to think about my life without them in it. both my parents and my in-laws.
i remember when i was 8, my grandpa died. he was 58. i thought it was a natural thing, i mean, he was "old" in my eyes. i unfortunately don't remember much about him. isn't that sad? he was a big runner, so i remember his races and him always running fun runs with me and ryan, always running our pace in which we seemed to always come in dead last. i remember when i was sick once he and my grandma dee brought me blue moon ice cream, that i gobbled down and puked up later. i don't think i've eaten it since, but when i see it, i think of him. i remember when my brother justin ate an entire bottle of baby tylenol, my mom freaked out and had to give him something to puke it up, so my grandpa came over to drive him up and down the driveway until he got sick. once ryan was riding a big wheel around his pool in the fall and fell in, and i remember my grandpa diving in after him. we called him papa. i remember the most random things. he looked like gene wilder, with a curly perm and tan from running outside. he was super fit and a funny guy. i think my mom looks like him. he had cancer and died a few months after diagnosis, it was so aggressive. i remember when he died my mom was pretty depressed for a few months. i think back now and wonder how she coped with four kids, and to top it all off, mallori was an infant. about luci's age. i wish i'd known him better. i'm lucky my dad's parents are still alive and have always played a huge part in our lives. and now they too can enjoy lucia. she's lucky too.
as i reflect on life and death and what's fair and unfair, i do still believe in god's master plan. there has to be one. i know it rarely makes things easier, but we have to trust in that.