nights out and hours away

i think i'm finally starting to feel more comfortable with leaving lucia for a few hours here and there without feeling too much guilt.
i've posted about this issue before, especially when faced with an overnight in chicago. the fact of the matter is, it's hard leaving your little one. especially if you nurse and are tied to them that intimately and intensely (plus pumping sucks hard-no pun intended). additionally, i think that being a working mom, i have that guilt already in place and then on my down time, i feel like every hour should be spent with her to make up for the hours i work and i'm not with her.
however, i am finally gaining my sense of self back. i am feeling more comfortable with being a good friend and better wife. i love being a mom, but i'm still an independent person too. it took me a good 10 months to realize this, but i am getting there.
friday morning, my friend sarah and i went out for manis and pedis as she was getting married saturday and i wanted to treat her to a little spa day as a small gift. we relaxed and shopped and had lunch all the while trav watched luci. it was nice and i took my time just treating myself, catching up with sarah and being alone (alone meaning without lu). it was nice.
saturday we had sarah's wedding and it was nice to have a night out with trav. mallori watched the babe while we celebrated sarah and will (such a nice, heartfelt ceremony that you could totally feel the outpouring of love, something so rare these days). it was really a great night.
i'm getting there, to the point where i can realize i too need to have a life outside of luci. my social life has taken a big hit this year (by choice) but i'm ready to amp it back up a bit too!
below are two pix we took before sarah's wedding this weekend. i am only including them because busie said lu looks a "little" like me in the first pic, and in the second i was posing so hard mallori yelled at me. haha