self check out

i don't know why i do it. i went to the grocery story (kroger) today (only worked until 2 due to my new awesome hours!) and picked up about 20-25 things. the check out lines were busy so a woman waved me over to self check-out. "it's wide open over here!" she said. yeah, i know why. it's because self check-out is a complete pain in the butt.
scanning is a nightmare and forget it if you have produce. you have to wave the clerk over to help you type in the numbers. using my own shopping bags is a pain too. every item would have to be weighed after scanning and because my bags weren't positioned with the plastic bags, the weight wouldn't register so the clerk would have to come over and intervene. i literally was working up a sweat out of frustration as the other lines moved ahead of me.
lesson learned. every time i use the self check-out i become borderline irate. it's not a time saver if you have more than 5 or so items. never again!!!!

steam roller

after a much delayed/anticipated roll over from lucia's back to tummy, in just a few short days, she has become a steam roller.
jane had her yesterday and the nooks stopped by with reesie to say hi and see lucia too. when nooks left, she sent me an email to say that lu was quite the "roly poly." i just took it as she was a little chunk and thought nothing of it. well, when trav returned home, he reported to me that she was moving all over the floor- front to back, back to front. i put her on the floor and was amazed at her movement! the girl figures out how to roll over both ways and now she's a steam roller! i love it.
when she went down for her nap this afternoon, i watched on her monitor as she tried rolling over in her crib but couldn't quite make it as she would get too close to the sides and stop. this was quite frustrating for her and i laughed as she screamed in frustration. no crying, just a scream because she wasn't being instantly gratified with a flip. it took a bit more for her to go to sleep this afternoon because of her new found skill. it's just amazing how one week i'm wondering when she'll roll over and now she's a maniac!

rolling over

i captured lu rolling over on sunday from her back to tummy and tummy to back. you'll see in the below slideshow, she happened to do it right onto beatle bailey's arms. my handsome dude just put up with her, as he always does. one image looks like she might be crying, but i assure you she is not.
the others are of her with her uncle justin wearing a polo sweatsuit he bought her that i'm sure he spent an exuberant amount of money on. :)

sweet hormones

when i became pregnant with lu, well i should say, after the first 3-4 months of nausea wore off, my hunger for sweets was insatiable. prior to pregnancy, i was a salty girl; if i had a craving it most certainly was for some chips or pizza. dessert was rarely an option- i could go months without chocolate. oh no, not anymore my friends.
i don't know what it is, but i could seriously eat dessert for every meal of the day. i've taken to making pancakes or waffles once a week for dinner (topped with strawberries and bananas- simply DELISH! i'll make trav a special one with chocolate chips in it and allow myself a bite and it is the most heavenly taste!) recently, i have literally dreamed about eating an entire bag of m&ms. i can't keep sweets in the house though because i'm afraid of what would happen if i did. if i could, i would eat sweets every single day. but for those that know me well, i won't even think to waste calories on a dessert that doesn't contain chocolate. it's just not worth it to me!
thursday night i made trav a cookie bar which is basically one giant choco chip cookie patted into a cookie sheet. HEAVEN. i ate two on friday and totally blew my weight watchers points on them. i could have eaten the whole pan. thus, i demanded travis hide them. at first he didn't believe me "are you serious?!" he asked to which i replied "ABSOLUTELY." so my dear husband, baffled as he was, hid them in our basement.
several times a day i see him creeping downstairs, only to return with a cookie. sometimes i beg for a bite. he thinks i'm weird. he however has never had to worry about calories or his weight because he's blessed with an amazing metabolism and a 6'3" frame. don't think i haven't prayed to god to bless lu with the same two characteristics.
i was talking to busie today and i relayed the above story to her. it got me thinking. i can't behave like that when lu is old enough to understand! i can't raise her with the same f'ed up thoughts of food i have. i never want her to think she is fat. god forbid she starts dieting in 5th grade like i did.
i am not blaming my parents for this! i'm just saying i can not raise my daughter to be like me.
i want to bake with her and teach her to have a healthy relationship with food. i want her to understand the value of nutrition, but also to relish dessert without guilt (something i have never been able to do.) i want her to enjoy physical activity. i'll encourage it but definitely won't care if she hates organized sports like i did. :) i still have nightmares about high school basketball. why i played for so many years is beyond me. i digress.
my point is- i will not hide food when luci is old enough to know better. but until then if my sweet cravings remain the same, i might have to! i am hoping that when i am done nursing my appetite and cravings subside. but for now, cookie bars are in the basement!

7 month update

i realized lu is now 7 months as of february 16 and i have yet to post an update!
she finally rolled from her back to tummy yesterday. i'm not saying she liked it though! she's also scooting when on her tummy into a barely there crawling stance. she makes herself wiggle backwards like a worm. again, she does not like this either. she would much rather be sitting on her little behind or in her jumperoo or exersaucer. she gets wild when she is in both of those contraptions. jumps up and down and gums everything in site.
so far in terms of eating she's had the following (in order): apples, sweet potatoes, winter squash, pears, avocado, green peas, summer squash and peaches. for cereal she's tried rice, oats and barley. she's into everything but the peas- not a fan. i should also add she seemed to have a bit of reaction after two days of avocado so i stopped those and will introduce them again later. she likes drinking water from a big glass of mine or from a sippy, but she's not sure how to suck from the sippy so i give it to her without a top and either let her drink herself or help her (because when she drinks it herself, it mostly if not all ends up on her bib).
she's still on a diet of mostly b milk though, eating twice a day big girl food. she now b feeds in record time- less than 10 minutes mostly. i never could believe when my friends would tell me how fast their babies got at feeding time, but now i know! it's crazy because in the beginning, her feedings lasted 30-40 minutes or more. she knows how to guzzle now!
she is still puking a bit but it has slowed considerably. i don't put a bib on her daily anymore which is nice!
her napping schedule is pretty solid now as well. it's almost clockwork that she goes down around 10 and 2 every day. i would say 8 out of 10 days this holds true. nights are still a bit unpredictable as i've stated; but mostly she gets up once to eat ranging from 3-7 a.m and goes back down until about 730-745 (or after 8 if she doesn't get up until 7ish). she does get up on average 1-3 times a night for a rebink, something i've mentioned most recently as well. i've found reassurance from some friends in telling me that us helping her find her pacifier will too pass.
she loves music and really recognizes beats and songs. we have a cd from her class and when i put it in, she's instantly excited and stares at the cd player wondering why carla's (her teacher) voice is coming from that box. some form of music is playing at all times it seems.
surprisingly she loves when i sing too. tonight she enjoyed renditions of wham's "wake me up before you go go." it's a new song every night! what a lucky girl! ha
she really plays well with her toys and is drawn to her ridiculous tickle me elmo and other elmo paraphanalia. she loves bailey and smiles anytime he enters the room which is often because he never leaves me.
she rarely fusses except when she is being changed or when she is tired of course.
my favorite things are when she gums my face and when she wakes up from a nap and just wants to cuddle for a few minutes. i say "do you just want to rock with mama?" and we sit in the glider and rock for a few minutes as she stares out the window with her little head on my shoulder. ahhhh, it just makes my heart ache (in a good way!)
she also loves standing up (with my help) and being told what a big girl she is, bathtime, dancing, other babies and kids, looking out windows, walks (on the rare couple of occasions this past month we were able to take them, zippers on clothes, board books and family.
i can't believe she's 7 months. i want time to stop moving so fast!

raising a "free range kid"

ever since my interview with lenore, freerangekids blogger and writer for readers digest and more, i've been thinking a lot about how i want to raise luci.
now, i have to say, i've totally lightened up these past couple months, namely about germs. when lu was under 6 months, she just seemed so much more fragile. if a bubble was a product i could have bought to protect her, damn right i probably would have. i still wash my hands non stop and strive to protect her, but i'm better about letting her explore so to speak. i don't lay down a blanket every time she gets on the floor (but almost every time!) i didn't freak out at music class when kids were sniffling around us. i can go to target and not be convinced she's going to catch something. but speaking of target, i took her today and made sure to put my cart cover on the cart before i sat her tiny little butt in there.
when pushing her around the store, i wondered (but didn't care) if some people thought i might be a neurotic mom. if you know your stuff, it's a fact that shopping carts are as germy as public transportation handles. that makes my stomach turn. but am i too extreme in covering the cart? playground equipment is just as gross, but i'm not going to cover a swing when i take lu there in the spring. and i'm certainly not going to NOT let her play at a playground. i'm going to encourage it of course. but will i be thinking of all the germs when she plays, carefree as a child should?
another topic on my mind, is allowing lucia to walk to school. we are within close walking distance of her future elementary school, middle school and high school. will i let her walk to school? i hope so. i am sure when she's in elementary school i'll walk her at least halfway, but will i be paranoid as she takes the rest of the journey alone?
it's interesting because i read about an experiment done with a group of children. they were instructed to do a simple activity they otherwise wouldn't have done out of fear and to give a reason as to why they didn't do it prior to the experiment. one child walked to school. when asked why he hadn't attempted to walk to school before, he said his mom wouldn't let him because she was afraid he'd be kidnapped. he too feared that. another child baked a cake. she said she didn't do it before the experiment because her mother always told her she could burn herself. so sad!
we live in a great neighborhood, in a college town. there are two amazing playgrounds within close walking distance. will i be afraid to let lu explore alone? i grew up cooking cookies in the kitchen with friends and making potions in the bathroom with every product we could get our hands on. will i scare lu by warning her she could get burned if she makes cookies? or she could inhale bad toxins from mixing styling products? i certainly hope not! but i do understand that when you read about the rare child burning themselves and causing disfigurement or when you hear about an abduction, of course you think "THIS CAN HAPPEN TO MY CHILD AND IF IT DID, I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF." even though the chances of bad things happening are slim, they can still happen.
on the other hand, the beauty of being a child is feeling invincible. i remember dozens of instances in which my parents didn't let me do something and i couldn't understand why and now i completely understand it. a big one that stands out in my mind is a 5 hour beach walk my cousin melissa and i took as "tweens" (that word didn't exist then). we paid no mind to the time or had a second thought that perhaps our parents would worry. when they finally found us, and we got in trouble, we still didn't understand why. if luci pulled something like that, i would lose my mind! another time i remember both ryan and i were out late without so much as calling our parents to tell them where we were or why we were late. i arrived home first to my mom standing in the front window crying and thought she was being ridiculous. now i understand why. i never thought anything bad could happen to me until i was about 24. then i remember being scared on a bad flight and thinking "holy shit, i could die!" but again i reiterate, that's the beauty of being young. you think bad things can happen, but they won't happen to you. i don't want to rob my children of that feeling.
with that said, there are things i want them to be afraid of. deathly afraid of in some cases. talking to strangers when they are very young. driving drunk. or riding in a car with someone that's been drinking. having unprotected sex. not being able to get into a good college if they do crappy in school. not wearing sunscreen.
what is the balance then? in this day and age of cell phones and temporary tattoos to id your child, where does it stop? we're so informed now about what could happen and how we can prevent it, that sometimes things are really extreme. where do you draw the line and just hope for the best? do you? technology and being informed are great but so is being a child. so much to think about! and thankfully, i have time to think. :) but at the rate these past 7 months have flown by, i know her growing up will come all too soon.

cold again!

lu is sick with another cold. i was just thinking the other day how lucky we've been in terms of sickness this winter, lu and myself, but i thought too soon! she came down with her third cold wednesday night. her nose is running like a faucet and she's pretty fussy, not wanting me to put her down at all. we basically spent the morning walking from window to window, mirror to mirror and to other "interesting" places around the house with her in a front pack. and i'm sorry, it's hard on my body! i'm so bummed i don't like baby wearing more...
the past two nights have been a bit restless. she's been sleeping ok but obviously not great.
it seems like once you get sleep settled in again after a holiday, or a lapse in schedule, or an illness, you're back to the drawing board. additionally, because her sleep training has went so well, i was just thinking the other day how i'd like to begin weening her from her pacifier. we pretty much limit use to her bedroom, so she really only uses it when she's going down for a nap or bedtime. and that is absolutely fine. however, i find that during the night sometimes if she wakens, she'll be startled and cry if her pacifier is out of her mouth, but she won't open her eyes to find it and pop it back in her mouth. so i race in there to do it for her. she goes right back into her sleep, but it sucks for me! the sudden startle, the bounding into her room, the heart pounding, hoping i get to her in time so she goes back down.
if she would learn to plop the paci back into her own mouth, i'd put a dozen in her crib at night for her to find! (well maybe not a dozen) but with her depending on me to do it for her, i just don't think it's the greatest thing. obviously i am not about to ween her from it while she's sick, but if anyone has any suggestions, i'd love to hear them for when she gets better. maybe you had the same problem, and eventually your child finally learned to put it back into his/her mouth, so i should just deal for now? or maybe you just decided to ween them all together. again, i have no problem with pacifier use. i just want to emphasize self soothing without a total dependence on me putting a pacifier back into lu's mouth.
also, she is not teething so this is definitely a cold. i feel her little gums every night and feel nothing. my little gummy bear is going to be gummy for a while longer!

7 months pix taken today

i wrote earlier how i struggle with emotions on wednesdays when lu is gone. i made the mistake of looking at my blog mid afternoon to see recent pictures of her and i started missing her hard! when she got home she greeted me with an open mouth chomp down on my cheeks (her new thing that i absolutely love) and we partied the rest of the night. i took some photos of her in her chair because i haven't done that lately. gone are the days of her chilling out for dozens of pix; this time she went wild and thrashed about. you'll see the results. she is so darn cute. that's because she looks nothing like me! ha i'm afraid she does have my personality though. oh boy.

this is awesome

love this!

love this quote

that scharf sent me from his starbucks cup this morning!
"People need to see that, far from being an obstacle, the world's diversity of languages, religions and traditions is a great treasure, affording us precious opportunities to recognize ourselves in others."
-Youssou N'Dour. Musician.

guilt

as a mom, i experience a lot of guilt. namely over being a working mom.
before i begin, i must say, i have an ABSOLUTE IDEAL situation. i work from home. i don't have to race around in the mornings getting ready with luci. i have no commute. instead of pumping which can be very time consuming for some, i am able to feed lucia when she needs to be fed. almot every day, people come to my home to watch her. between our moms, dads, mallori and erica- i am never without a wonderful babysitter that absolutely loves luci. with that said, i do have guilt over working. i truly believe the most natural thing is for a woman to be at home with her child- her full time job being a mom. i wish we lived in a culture that better supported the naturalness and pureness of that.
wednesdays are tough days for me. wednesdays are jane's days to watch luci. almost every wednesday (aside from weeks jane had chemo- which are done now!) trav takes her to fenton. he works from his parents house when he's not on the road and luci hangs with jane all day. i'm super sad when she leaves because the house is so big and empty and quiet. however, when the initial sadness wears off, i do enjoy being on my own for 8 hours. i have a standing lunch date once a month on wednesdays with amy. i work with my office door open because i have no sounds to drown out. i get wrapped up in work and time flies and all these things make me feel an immense amount of guilt.
i know i'm not just a mom. but being a mom is what i love the most. i want to spend every minute with lucia i can because when i don't i miss her. but i like to indulge my old self and ways too (aka on wednesdays). it's such a tug of war of emotions! i think no matter what we do, almost every choice we make as moms is questioned by first ourselves and often by those around us. i hope i can find a balance of emotions at some point. i get jealous of stay at home moms sometimes but love the rush i get from my work. can we ever win?!

ridiculous

when my girl eats good, or stands up like a big girl (with my help), or rolls over, i find myself singing a song to lucia that goes like this:
"she's a big one, a MIGHT-Y MIGHT-Y big one! she's a big one, a MIGHT-Y MIGHT-Y big one!" repeat.
it's not something i've made up, rather, i heard it on an episode of "flavor of love." flav sang it about a bigger woman he was courting while he was banging on his keyboard. i saw the episode with my family up north and it was just too much to take. we were in hysterics. now i sing the song to my daughter. there is something wrong here.
additionally, as i've said before, we do not have cable and i've been getting my reality tv fixes at the gym. however, because there was a wonderful deal even cheaper than what we are paying now with basic cable, we are getting our cable back on thursday. i don't know how to feel about this. i thought i would be excited, but i'm not. i'm afraid i'm going to get sucked into ridiculous shows again. i don't need to watch anymore bachelor-esque shows or any series with castoffs from flavor of love, or i love new york! i must stay strong!

artwork

i received the most awesome frame ever today! when i was in florida last year, i first laid eyes on products from THIS amazing company. i wept at some of the quotes on the frames, and it was in the store i first read the quote i put on lucia dee's birth announcements. it was only fitting that i ordered the frame with the announcement quote, and had it personalized LUCIA DEE. the frames are pricey but worth it. i love all the other pieces as well.
my frame reads as below:
"You are the poem I dreamed of writing, the masterpiece I longed to paint.
You are the shining star I reached for in my ever-hopeful quest for life
fulfilled. You are my child. Now with all things I am blessed."
and it has LUCIA DEE above a slot for her picture. i think these frames will make such great wedding and baby gifts for other friends!
i have completely begun moving our wedding pictures from the downstairs entry hallway to the upstairs hallway to make room for all things luci. she has a frame with 9 spots on the wall for pix downstairs in addition to the new frame i received and several more framed shots in our built in cabinet in the living room. my photographer gave us so many great photos to choose from, not to mention, i have one seriously cute kid!
it's funny how quickly such an important day such as a wedding takes a complete backseat when a baby comes into your world. although the pictures are beautiful, the pictures of our baby girl are that much more precious!

v-day weekend

trav and i had a real date night on friday to celebrate valentine's day. mallori babysit overnight and he and i went out to troppo for some drinks and dinner. it was nice to make an effort to go out; i looked forward to it all week. now i know why it's stressed to "have date nights" once you have kids because going out to dinner with just trav was nice and relaxed.
i love going out to dinner. trav doesn't. he's much more of the homebody. and the cheapskate. but while we were dating and up until we had lu i could get him to go out a lot more. having lu has saved him from indulging my going out habits! however i must admit, spending 100 on dinner made me cringe a bit. back in the day, it was unheard of NOT to spend a couple hundred bucks going out in a weekend. just drinking money away. i shudder at the thought! now i think of all the things i could buy or save for with that 100. but again, going back to the "date nights are important" topic, sometimes you just have to suck it up and spend some cold hard cash on a night out.
on the actual valentine's day we stayed in and made dinner. i told trav i would make him any dessert he wanted, just to name it. i thought he would come up with something decadent and time consuming and i was looking forward to preparing it for him. after some thought he decided the best dessert he could think of was TAKE AND BAKE COOKIES. it's the simple things in life that really matter to my husband!
he was very sweet and bought me a spa gift certificate and cards from him, lucia and even beatle bailey. so sweet. additionally, he gave me a very unique valentine's day surprise.
as many of you know, travis is a younger version of my father. he loves teaching me lessons (as does my dad to this day). it's unbelievable how similar they are. i even wrote in my vows about how everyone always tells you you'll marry a man like your father and you don't believe them, but in my case, it was absolutely true. as i've posted recently, lu is now pooping solid so we have to dispose of her poop in the toilet. he's scolded me over my disposing habits- i stand up and just let it drop causing some splashing and sometimes i just forget to flush the poop. i'm a mom, i have a lot on my mind! i can't always remember to flush! i dispose of it mostly in his bathroom as he has the sprayer attached to his toilet. unfortunately, i made the mistake of not flushing lu's poop one day last week and on valentine's day, i had the privilege of my very own v-day lesson!
during the day lu had a monstrous poop. i changed her and trav was there to take and dispose of the poop. how perfect for him. what i thought was flushed, ended up in my toilet, to fester from about 1 pm until 11 pm when i used my bathroom to get ready for bed. as i lifted the toilet to use it, i was awarded with a bowl full of poop and a sign on the lid that said "happy valentine's day." trav was right outside the door so he could hear my reaction which was simply a shocked "whoa" and then we both erupted in hysterics. i had to race to his bathroom because i almost peed my pants from laughing so hard. RIDICULOUS. and this my friends, is my life. a nice dinner and QT with my husband on friday and a priceless lesson on saturday night. i couldn't ask for a better vday weekend!

resetting herself

on sunday we took to the road, stopping by trav's parents for a few hours then hitting up my parent's house for dinner. we're so lucky that our parents live about a half hour from each other and about an hour each from us so we're all pretty close and get to see them a lot. we planned to leave for trav's parents around 10ish so l dee could nap in the car for about an hour and then leave his parents around 2ish so she could nap in our car for about a half an hour. (no where near her normal nap times now but i thought it might be ok to fudge.) i tried to smuggle her into my parents house into the pack and play there for a longer nap when we arrived after her half hour nap/ride but that was not happening. my mom just "happened" to be in the spare bedroom and even though i told her to get out of lucia's eye sight, lu just "happened" to see her immediately when i walked in the bedroom. regardless, she was in a great mood at both parents houses and slept on drive home after dinner.
great mood or not, napping in the car or not- this still royally screwed her up for the majority of the week.
again, now i realize why it's stressed that babies have a schedule. they thrive on it. i also know now why everyone says to stick to the schedule as much as you can NO MATTER WHAT!
after sleeping thru the night for the past few weeks- the next few nights were totally shaken up.
sunday night lu was up several times during the night for soothing, once to eat (early though at around 4 instead of 6-7) and on monday only took 2 half hour naps for my dad.
same thing monday night, up a few times with it being hard to get her back down once and then only took 2 45 minute naps for erica on tuesday.
tuesday night was a bit better, with only a couple wakings. she then took a 50 minutes morning nap and an hour and 25 minute afternoon nap on wednesday for my mom.
last night was better, she slept thru and woke up at 5, ate and went back down after a bit of a struggle. however, her naps are back on track at an hour for the first one and a whopping 2.5 hour one in the afternoon (she's just waking now and chatting with herself)! i can only bet that tonight is going to be even better than last, with her perhaps waking around 6-7 to eat and then going back down til about 8ish like she has been.
i wanted to choke myself these past couple of days for screwing up her schedule after all my hard work. it's just not worth getting a baby out of their comfortable routine. unfortunately, we won't be doing the double parent trip again anytime soon! babies are new to everything and we'll continue to work around her! some may view it as a hassle but it's so important. we've done what we please for 30 and 34 years respectively so it's not a big deal to revolve everything around lu for now. thank goodness she is resetting herself after my mistake! yay!

should i be laughing?

i just saw this on a mom blog (research for a client i swear!) evidently this kid just got done with some oral surgery and is completely stoned.i thought it was hilarious and am feeling guilty. am i wrong to think this is funny? and also am i wrong to be making a mental note to take a camera if/when luci ever has to have oral surgery?

2 cool things

1. MIA performing on her due date at the grammy's. she was awesome! what a statement she made. not sure i could have performed on my due date, i would have needed some knee boots to cover my canks.
2. on a recent UNICEF trip, salma hayek breastfed a hungry baby. i read that and that made me love salma even more. no doubt she'll get some flack from it from the anti-boob people, but i think it's amazing. how could any mom capable let another baby go hungry when they could easily feed them? with that said, i wouldn't feed a woman's child unless they asked me to and really needed me to, and even then i admit it would probably be a bit weird but the alternative is much worse.
salma hayek is awesome. she went on oprah and proclaimed that losing her baby weight was hard as hell and contrary to what a lot of people say, it didn't fall off just because she breast fed. ALLELUJAH! i know if i wasn't breastfeeding i would have lost the weight quicker because i could have really watched what i ate, but with breastfeeding you have to think about your supply, so i eat when i'm hungry. i stil lost it but it took longer than i thought.
another reason salma is cool- she's on 30 rock and has an awesome sense of humor!
anyway, i love positive press surrounding pregnancy and breastfeeding and i just had to share. and seeing MIA rock it out pregs made me want to be pregnant again. oh boy!
i've all but forgotten the feeling of cankles (i'll never forget what they looked like!), being sick for 14 weeks and actually losing weight, my fat face, being exhausted by 8ish, the heavy feeling of my body, the lack of sleep positions and the lack of sleep a lot of nights. you forget that stuff and just romanticize over the beauty of pregnancy. that's why women can do it all over again and again. :)

lucia dee almost 7 months

here are some recent pix of lu taken this weekend. the first set is of her playing with daddy in the office. she loves being held by him at his computer. she'll put her arm around his head and stroke the back of his hair. it's so cute and makes me jealous!
then of course are the obligatory messy face eating shots.
the others are of her playing on the floor at grandma and grandpa hylens.
i can't believe she'll be seven months on february 16.

lil stinker

luci is so sweet right now. her demeanor is so easy going, happy and sweet. everyone comments on what a smiley, happy girl she is. i absolutely love it. in addition, she's so easy as she's not mobile and is so easily entertained. she's really a ton of fun right now. she loves playing with her toys, dancing, singing, talking, eating, watching bailey, and hanging out with all her peeps.
i laugh and smile at her all day long and when i check in on her at night before i go to sleep, i smile or laugh to myself as i watch her sleep. i marvel at her beauty and sweetness, even in her sleep. i am absolutely obsessed with her. and i'm not ashamed to admit it. my favorite things are when she grabs my face and gums me up, smiles so big when i come into her room to grab her up after a nap, crosses her feet when she eats in her high chair, or grabs onto my arms with her toes when she nurses. i love watching her interact with her duckies in the tub, light up when bailey or travis come into the room, or roll over much to her surprise (only from front to back, she still will not roll from her back to stomach!) i swear she is in tune to the music i play for her and bounces/grooves to the beats. seriously our favorite song right now is by common "universal minds control" and we booth go wild when it comes on. it's a fun dance ditty.
as i talk about how sweet she is, i must add she is also developing quite a little spunky personality. her latest thing is fake whining and kicking her little feet on the glider when i go to feed her. she'll be completely content until she knows i'm getting ready to nurse her and then she gets wild because even in 5 seconds or less, it's like i can't get to her fast enough. my mom says i need to tell her to "be nice" and sit her up before i give into her milk demands but i don't. i just feed her and try not to laugh at what a stinker she is. she also pitches a fit when i lay her on her changing table to change her. if i immediately pick her up, and stand her up and sing "big girls don't cry" in a ridiculous voice, she cracks up and loves it. goes from fake crying to laugher in seconds. and i love when she stands up wearing just a onesie or her diapers. she cracks me up, my little tiny person.
well last night i made the mistake of giving her an empty bowl after seh finished her pears. it was fun for her to bang and put her little mitts in it. well this morning, that gesture was not forgotten. she saw a bowl on the table and immediately started whining and grabbing for it. i sternly said "no. you need to eat. be nice." and she took one look at me and a big wide smile spread across her face. i could not help but crack up at her messy face smeared with cereal and she knew she had me. little stinker.
when i type these entries after experiencing the little wonders of our every day, i think how bored some readers must be. but it's so true. the smallest things she does never go unnoticed and every day is so extraordinary with a child in your life. time is flying by too fast so i have to soak it all up now and try my best to ingrain it all in my mind. in the words of the police and sexy sting- "every little thing she does is magic."

freerangekids.com

i had a very interesting conversation yesterday with the blogger, lenore skenazy (awesome last name) who writes freerangekids.com. she is an op-ed columnist with the new york sun and appears on NPR among other outlets. she also writes for the reader's digest.
i contacted her regarding a piece she was writing about unnecessary baby products you have that own and actually LIKE. my main objective was to spin it and pitch my
client Spot Me ID- a line of ID products for kids (temporary tattoos, bracelets, lanyards) but began my "pitch" speaking on personal experience highlighting products that are unnecessary that i love.
my number one unnecessary love is my video monitor. i told her that while i can teeter on the brink of obsession watching her on it, i love it. in the beginning it allowed me to indulge my new mom needs by watching her at all times. it comforted me and still does. as she progressed, and her naps were a mere 20-30 mintues, it allowed me to dart into her room when i saw her stirring to intervene,leading up to a longer nap. now, i can watch her and make sure she doesn't cover her face with her little lovey blanket (a habit of hers and a lot of babies). when she does, i sneak in and remove it. i admit, it's a bit neurotic. lenore said she's glad they didn't make them when her children were small. my mom and mother in law talk about how they never even had monitors so look how good we have it, but admit they would have bought one too. (this is after i get the "we put you to bed on your stomach with blankets and you were fine" story.) my fears of her not waking up are starting to subside, (SIDS is a fear of every mom) but they are still there. my monitor helps curb those fears.
i mentioned my shopping cart cover. yes i have one. yes i intend on using one. shopping carts are disgusting. i wrote a piece for a client that sited shopping carts are more germy than public transportation railings. traces of fecal matter and saliva and meat are found on almost every shopping cart handle. sick. i personally keep gloves on in the winter when pushing those disgusting things and always disinfect them before pushing them with the wipes kroger provides. i'll also use the cover in a restaurant over those disgusting high chairs. on the flip side, i discussed with lenore that a marketing pitch for the covers are to use them on park swings and such, but i find that taking it a bit too far. they'll still gross me out, and i'll of course enforce handwashing when playing is complete, but i'm not going to cover a park swing!
i also mentioned a breathing monitor i registered for and used for about two weeks. the purpose was for it to sound an alarm if your child stopped breathing. every time i picked lu up in her early days i would forget to deactivate the damn thing and it would blast out at 2,3, 4 in the morning and scare the daylights out of us all. it was just too much. i told her i drew the line there, and as my pediatrician said, it's not going to prevent SIDS. it served as more of an annoyance to me.
i talked about waste and how even though we have so many new products out there, my environmental guilt stops me from buying many (which is good). a lot of lu's toys are hand me downs from friends and i'm so thankful. it's not a money issue, it's a waste issue. i admit though, when i first got pregnant i wanted all new things. i don't know, a part of a new nesting pregnant woman wants the new stuff. at least i did. i'm so glad i changed my mind. i talked about also being old school,using cloth diapers and cooking her food. how i do it because i think it's best for her and us, but also for our environment.
we also talked about plastics and bpa free products. i admit i use only glass and bpa free bottles when lu has to take one. i store her food in glass containers and would never reheat in plastic. i don't want to buy baby food in plastic because of the bpa issues and also, lack of recycling options here for anything other than a 1 and 2 (i admit that changes my mind on a lot of things i buy if i can't recycle the packaging. my environmental guilt is another post entirely). she said she's spoken to many experts, namely a doctor within one of the top intensive care units for babies (can't remember the hospital) and they administer all their iv's using iv lines with bpa. he said it plays no bearing on the health of even the sickest children. it should not be feared. that said, i still fear it and will use glass.
the more we talked she said she liked my viewpoints because i did walk a fine line. i admit i utilize unnecessary products but if they are there and they comfort me or make life easier, why not? i know the video monitor is ridiculous, i admit that. but i love it. she commented on how we live in a culture of hysteria, living in fear. the media perpetuates this fear obviously as do marketing companies that ingeniously market unnecessary products playing on our fear or lack of time or need of convenience. she said we hear about someone dying of salmonella, but really our chances of that are like 1 in 9 million or more! it sounds absurd, but because we know it's a possibility, we are scared of it. she said we are all afraid of our children dying, but we can't live in total fear like we do. i told her that every time i hear of someone losing a child, i feel guilt. if it can happen to someone else, why not me? why am i so lucky? when is the ball going to drop? FEAR. HYSTERIA.
i really enjoyed my conversation with lenore. i told her i was going to follow her blog, as her viewpoints will really help to alleviate some of my fears i'm sure. she's also coming out with a book in april.
i agree with many things she said. i want my children to play outside and not get sucked into the world of Wii and the computer. the ID products i pitched her are a bit excessive (but at the same time i'm not saying i would not put an id bracelet on my child on a field trip or at an amusement park). it's crazy 5 year olds own cellphones, but at the same time, i get why some parents would give their child one (i.e. divorced parents with not so good communication. i helped launch firefly mobile phones for kids and it was developed because the inventor's girlfriend had a 5 year old and whenever the child was at his dad's she could never reach him. that would drive me batty.) i get her points. i WANT to have faith in greater human goodness that my child will not get kidnapped if i let her walk to school. but it happens and that scares me. some people just aren't good and would harm my child. why should i be exempt from something terrible happening? that's what i think the underlying feeling every parent has, IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME. so if there are things we can do to protect them, why not?
with that said, i'm contributing to mass hysteria. i'll try to keep balance and not be completely paranoid about the small things, and i think listening to many perspectives across the board will help me to keep myself in check! i'll still be batty over many things though, no matter what.
additionally, lenore wants to feature me in a piece she's writing for reader's digest and might send a photographer here to shoot lucia and i! i'm sure i might come across as being nutty in the piece, but oh well. i'll post it if i do get featured. i started out contacting her on a client's behalf and now i might make print. ha

new friends

luci met a new friend at her music class last night. since she's the youngest in class, the older babies are enamored by her. miss phoebe stayed by lu's side all class. they took turns putting their hands in each others mouths, touching and grabbing faces and hair and patting. lucia kept talking to phoebe in her little teradactyl voice. phoebe kept kissing lu with her crusted up nose all over her face. thank god i'm moving past my germaphobia!
now don't get me wrong, i still am a freak about germs. however, now that lucia is over 6 months, i have certainly lightened up. it's like i just was intent on getting her out of that too fragile, newborn/infant stage. the difference between her being sick when she was 3 months to when she got sick recently was huge. i knew what i was doing in order to soothe and make her feel better and she was able to handle it better also. i will never deliberately expose her to sick babies now, but if she gets sick now it's so much more manageable!
on one hand, i'm so happy it's february because i am beginning to see light at the end of the winter tunnel. however, with each passing day i'm constantly reminded that time is not standing still for me and lu keeps growing. i wish there was some kind of pause button. i am totally enjoying the stage she's in right now too. she's sitting up and not mobile, so life is easy! feeding her is fun and she's always so smiley and easy going. well for the most part, unless i'm changing her clothes- then she is giving me absolute attitude. or i should add she punks out when i'm getting ready to b feed her. when i lay her on her side, she starts fake crying and kicking her feet until she gets what she wants. punk! i tell her to be nice, but she doesn't care. she knows what she wants and she always gets it!

oatmeal cream pies

sorry, but this is going to be a poop post

when lu started on solids, her poop changed dramatically. it became really sticky and we likened it to little debbie oatmeal cream pies. it stuck to her diapers like putty and it was impossible to get out without swooshing them around in the toilet. a disgusting practice that our grandmothers did on a daily basis!
now she's on more fruits and veggies, her poop is becoming solid. nick described it as a "hockey puck" when talking about his daughter nola's poops. yesterday she had her first real solid poop, however i did not get to see it as erica changed her while i worked. i was intrigued and made her tell me all about the shape and consistency. she said it rolled right off into the toilet cleanly! i have to admit, i was jealous i didn't get to see it myself. i would have marveled at the clean roll off!!! haha
we did order a diaper sprayer that trav installed last night. it attaches to the toilet and works as a sink sprayer might. it's very powerful. so for those oatmeal cream pie days, i no longer have to swoosh and gag. i'll just spray and be on my way!

you can't always get what you want- MOM

i sit here willing lucia to wake as it's 815, and this is our time to play and spend time together before i have to work! she awoke at 630 only to eat and go right back down to sleep. of course if it was saturday i might be a little excited about this, but right now, i want to play with her! waaa waaa
i have to admit, with the uncertainty of the economy and my job aside, it sure has been nice working 24 hour weeks- which are equivalent to three days. i'm breaking them up as it would be too hard to take another full day in addition to friday and maintain my presence on my accounts daily. so i take a couple hours off each day. sure makes the work day fly by and then i get more time with my girl. i'm happy i'm done at 2 pm today. so nice.
if it weren't for the insurance issue, i would like to do three day work weeks forever. however, my insurance coverage is what we rely on as trav is labeled as a contract employee as an appraiser and his insurance coverage would be mainly from our pockets averaging about 1000 a month. with my company we pay much less than that. maybe someday insurance costs won't be an issue for anyone. wouldn't that be nice? and the way it should be of course.
i can't believe my little one is hibernating like a little bear! i hope she wakes up before 9! plus she needs a diaper change i'm sure. i might have to start using a diaper doubler at night if she's going to sleep like this!

cooking sleeping and walking

for the first time since lu was born, i cooked for friends and entertained at our house. it was so fun. i actually felt like i was able to really relax and chill out.
i love cooking, having people over and entertaining so i felt back in my element. we made it somewhat of a late night and didn't go to bed until around 1230 which is pretty late for me these days! it felt good. i felt like my former self a bit and i think i needed it. i'm lucia's mama but also my own person too and i need to be reminded of that now and again!
it couldn't have been better timing because, dare i type it, lu has been sleeping through the night until about 730-8ish every day since she started on solids. holy crap. i can't believe it. hence, not wanting to type it. it amazes me how they (experts i guess?) claim that it doesn't matter what a baby is fed, that it does not determine how long they will sleep. i find it rather odd that since i started lu on solids, she's sleeping all night? i haven't done anything else differently. obviously, i have to attribute her sleeping to the food.
additionally, she is now onto two naps because she is waking up later and stretching her time between naps to about 2.5 - 3 hours. it's awesome and so much easier to plan around two naps instead of 3 or more.
lu still gets up once or more a night to be resettled. she'll awake crying and of course i bolt to her, only for her eyes to be shut completely. she just needs a couple pats and reassurance and she's back down. i wonder if she's dreaming and the dreams are not so good? i hope not, she's too young for bad dreams right?
one more miraculous moment this weekend was being able to take lu and beatle on a walk on sunday with trav. it was so nice out (well considering) and we bundled her up and took her out into the big beautiful world. up until it got too chilly, i walked every day with lu and she would sleep. on sunday, she stayed awake, staring at the world around her. i loved being able to take her to "explore." i can't wait for the spring so we can walk through the neighborhood and onto campus or to the zoo and other parks to see all the beautiful things she doesn't know exist yet. i look forward being able to experience all the things i may have taken advantage of the past thirty years through lucia's eyes. pretty cool. yet another amazing benefit to having a child!

pix

here are some recent pix of miss lucia dee. not sure they can top her pro shots, but they sure are sweet! oh and that is not lu eating cake, that's nola on her first bday!

"now my life's a nightmare of efficiency"

all weekend long that line from the song "adelaide" by old 97's has been running through my head. now that i have a baby, it seems like every minute counts and something always has to be done. i wasn't one for being lazy pre-baby, but leisure time has went out the window- starting on 7-16-08!
after i put luc to bed on weeknights, i bolt to the gym or take bailey on a walk. when she naps on weekends, i make her food, clean house, shower, etc at the fastest pace i can because i have no idea when she'll wake up. i'm constantly optimizing my time. friday night, after she went to bed, i went grocery shopping. five years ago i would have been mortified at the thought because i would have been winding down after a long work week with friends and fun, but now, sometimes friday nights are the only times i have to go! sam's club and kroger on a friday night. key song lyrics- "now my life's a nightmare of efficiency."
i've gained so much respect for moms now that i've become one. isn't that how it always works though? how my mom had four of us little mongrels while working full time is beyond me. she was always present too. i think how most days she must have just been exhausted, but i never sensed it. i probably didn't pay enough attention though, because as a kid, you're selfish and expect everything from your mom. all day, every day no matter if she's sick, tired or both. but that's the beauty of all women and moms, we just adapt and we just make things work.
now back to the song lyric. no, my life is not a nightmare. i've always been a bit of a planner and frankly always kept my affairs in order and in line. i was that annoying person that if i had a paper due on a friday, it was done on wednesday (or before). i christmas shop in july. i buy in bulk when i can so if i run out of facewash, i have a back up bottle. i just like to think ahead and i think it prevents a lot of stress that way. but i've found even as much as i like to plan and do ahead, i'm still scrambling now. there is always something that can be done. always!
i'm not complaining, i'm just stating a simple fact. oh how much life has changed in so many ways! how "efficient" i've become. i love being a mom and the responsibility that comes along with it. from growing my child inside my body, to sustaining her life with my milk, to now spoon feeding her and simply putting her to bed, she relies one hundred percent on me and trav to live and survive. that's huge. the whole thing, the big picture, just seems so much bigger than me. sometimes, it scares me. but again, that's what mom's do. you take the unimaginable and make it second nature. after carrying a child under our hearts for 9 months, it's only natural that we just know what to do when they arrive and we just do it to the best of our ability.
i don't know if i'm conveying my point here, and i feel like i'm rambling but i guess what i'm saying is now everything i do has purpose because i'm doing it for luci. i clean and cook and workout and shop when luci's sleeping because i don't want to waste her waking hours doing the mundane. i want to be present for her. it's the best way i've found to be efficient. and that's what motherhood is all about!