check out a pic i took of lu with my phone during bathtime yesterday and another of a qp doll i found on the internet!
my little sweet baby doll!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
qp doll
a few peeps (amy, amy's sis tara, sarah bp) have said that lu looks like a qp doll and i think that is so funny! and true.
check out a pic i took of lu with my phone during bathtime yesterday and another of a qp doll i found on the internet!
my little sweet baby doll!
check out a pic i took of lu with my phone during bathtime yesterday and another of a qp doll i found on the internet!
my little sweet baby doll!
Monday, March 30, 2009
a little easter egg
here are some pix of lu being silly with auntie mal at my parent's house yesterday, looking like a pink little easter egg in an outfit amanda bought her. also, my mom bought lucia her very first pair of crocs as you'll see in the pix. even though i think those shoes are absurd, they look cute on lu!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
another long night?
well perhaps there was a reason lu was tough to go to sleep last night. as the night progressed, she started to develop a pretty rotten cold. from about 12-2 trav was up every 20 or so minutes to rock her to sleep. we finally elevated the bed for her, but i took the next shift from about 3-5, rocking/soothing/laying down to sleep. poor thing. every time i'd go to get her, her nose was running and her breathing labored.
she took two decent naps today and will hopefully have a better night. we have the cool mist humidifier on and her bed is still elevated.
she had a big weekend and was a trooper and happy throughout. as i mentioned in my last post we spent the late afternoon/evening in fenton to celebrate jane's birthday yesterday and spent the late afternoon/evening with my family celebrating an early easter since we'll be just getting back from florida on the actual easter sunday.
i debated taking her into my parents today because i wouldn't want to schlep around while i was sick, but she was truly in a good mood and i didn't want to disappoint everyone that was looking so forward to seeing her. and she was really great and even napped over there so it was all good. i just hope our night is ok!
i am exhausted also as i had a "girls night" on friday in grand rapids with teresko, laura, steph and kit. i drove into town around 5ish and left lu with trav. the girls were staying at teresko's and while i was a bit jealous, i knew i had to go home and stay responsibly sober. breast feeding and being a mom keeps me honest. i had to pump prior to dinner so no buzz was allowed and then during dinner i knew i had to drive home so no buzz was allowed there either! additionally, i knew we had a big weekend of family stuff and if i were to have stayed and gotten wild, i'd be miserably tired until about thursday of this week. seriously.
i made it home by around 1230 and although i was sober, i was exhausted. i had a great time but i've found that going out now really is an effort. but truly an effort i have to continue to make for sure.
my friendships are really important to me. even though i couldn't totally partake, i still wanted to be there to hang and catch up and chill, if only for a few hours. it takes and effort to prepare trav or a babysitter for the night, and an effort to pump and stay responsible. as a mom, you can never totally unwind because in the back of your mind you're always thinking about your child. i am a little envious of my single friends that can let loose and party and stay up late and sleep in and wake up and go have a leisurely breakfast together. all i an say now is, "i remember those days." :) but it's not like i didn't do it often. now, the big nights are few and far between! that's ok. well obviously it's more than ok. i'm happy and i love my life now. i'm just lucky to have so many girlfriends to make an effort for.
she took two decent naps today and will hopefully have a better night. we have the cool mist humidifier on and her bed is still elevated.
she had a big weekend and was a trooper and happy throughout. as i mentioned in my last post we spent the late afternoon/evening in fenton to celebrate jane's birthday yesterday and spent the late afternoon/evening with my family celebrating an early easter since we'll be just getting back from florida on the actual easter sunday.
i debated taking her into my parents today because i wouldn't want to schlep around while i was sick, but she was truly in a good mood and i didn't want to disappoint everyone that was looking so forward to seeing her. and she was really great and even napped over there so it was all good. i just hope our night is ok!
i am exhausted also as i had a "girls night" on friday in grand rapids with teresko, laura, steph and kit. i drove into town around 5ish and left lu with trav. the girls were staying at teresko's and while i was a bit jealous, i knew i had to go home and stay responsibly sober. breast feeding and being a mom keeps me honest. i had to pump prior to dinner so no buzz was allowed and then during dinner i knew i had to drive home so no buzz was allowed there either! additionally, i knew we had a big weekend of family stuff and if i were to have stayed and gotten wild, i'd be miserably tired until about thursday of this week. seriously.
i made it home by around 1230 and although i was sober, i was exhausted. i had a great time but i've found that going out now really is an effort. but truly an effort i have to continue to make for sure.
my friendships are really important to me. even though i couldn't totally partake, i still wanted to be there to hang and catch up and chill, if only for a few hours. it takes and effort to prepare trav or a babysitter for the night, and an effort to pump and stay responsible. as a mom, you can never totally unwind because in the back of your mind you're always thinking about your child. i am a little envious of my single friends that can let loose and party and stay up late and sleep in and wake up and go have a leisurely breakfast together. all i an say now is, "i remember those days." :) but it's not like i didn't do it often. now, the big nights are few and far between! that's ok. well obviously it's more than ok. i'm happy and i love my life now. i'm just lucky to have so many girlfriends to make an effort for.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
i'm a slave to sleep
well well well, another day for our one nap wonder, miss lucia dee. lately, lu has been taking a power nap, late morning/early afternoon and then refusing sleep for her second nap. i read in a book that as long as a baby has downtime, even if she refuses to nap, that is sometimes all we can do. so if after an hour of "playing grab ass" (as trav and i like to call it) and miss lu doesn't fall asleep, sometimes i just give up and go get her. now unlike a few weeks ago when she was a royal crab if she missed out on sleep, she's happy in the afternoons so i *try* to be okay with it. i still think she needs sleep, but what can i do sometimes?
as i type this, trav's rocking her to sleep. we were in fenton tonight for jane's birthday and had intended on putting lucia to bed there and then transferring her to her carseat when it was time to go. after i fed her and she fell asleep in my arms, she immediately woke up when i laid her down. this happened two more times (one with trav) and then finally i said "i'm not messing around right now." plus i was hungry for dinner! so we brought her out in her sleep sack, passed her off to grandma jane and let her chill.
she was alert and happy and talkative (really talkative) therefore amusing everyone there. she seemed to be showing off, and was smiling and laughing and every so often would catch my eye and give me an extra special grin as if to say "haha you sucker, look at me now." she was putting her whole fist in grandpa tim's mouth and grunting and pushing off his face with her other hand, and when he'd pop her hand out of his mouth, she'd laugh and do it all over again. when we left she was glossy eyed but still smiley and she fell asleep 5 minutes into our drive. of course she awoke when we tried to transfer her to bed, so trav's in there putting her to sleep.
i have several mom blogging friends and a few seem to be going through the same things with their babies right now. it's all about sleep. you hate to say it, but it's always nice to know that your friends are in the same boat as you in many frustrating instances. it's reassuring that your child is normal and moving along in their development- even if it's not convenient for you. it's nice to be in the new mom club of trying to figure everything out. i'd hate to be going at it alone! i already question my every move, so when you have a network of peeps to consult and question, it helps so so much.
today while in fenton we went to visit sara and brad who just had a baby boy, cole william, two weeks ago. we told them we'd only stay for 15-20 minutes because i know how overwhelming those first few weeks can be with visitors while being exhausted. we took her a bag of snacks as she's breast feeding and i knew she'd be ravenous often and needing quick bites. btw, that is my new go to new mom gift- snacks! they love it. anyway, it was so dreamy holding that sweet baby boy. i couldn't help but to get teared up! i hogged him the short time we were there while sara and i chatted and she asked me mom questions such as "do you remember when the sleeping started to become more consistent?" or "were you exhausted those first couple of weeks?" or "do you remember if you had nights when it seemed like lucia didn't sleep at all?" it's so funny how you become an expert to other new moms, even though your experience is only a few more months ahead of their own. it's nice though too, to be able to offer up your own tips (i talked to her about the side ways light shake hold luci loved) and to tell them, as cliche as it sounds, it does get easier. it gets easier because as they grow, you learn and grow with them. but it's surely obvious that the challenge of motherhood will never cease.
as i type this, trav's rocking her to sleep. we were in fenton tonight for jane's birthday and had intended on putting lucia to bed there and then transferring her to her carseat when it was time to go. after i fed her and she fell asleep in my arms, she immediately woke up when i laid her down. this happened two more times (one with trav) and then finally i said "i'm not messing around right now." plus i was hungry for dinner! so we brought her out in her sleep sack, passed her off to grandma jane and let her chill.
she was alert and happy and talkative (really talkative) therefore amusing everyone there. she seemed to be showing off, and was smiling and laughing and every so often would catch my eye and give me an extra special grin as if to say "haha you sucker, look at me now." she was putting her whole fist in grandpa tim's mouth and grunting and pushing off his face with her other hand, and when he'd pop her hand out of his mouth, she'd laugh and do it all over again. when we left she was glossy eyed but still smiley and she fell asleep 5 minutes into our drive. of course she awoke when we tried to transfer her to bed, so trav's in there putting her to sleep.
i have several mom blogging friends and a few seem to be going through the same things with their babies right now. it's all about sleep. you hate to say it, but it's always nice to know that your friends are in the same boat as you in many frustrating instances. it's reassuring that your child is normal and moving along in their development- even if it's not convenient for you. it's nice to be in the new mom club of trying to figure everything out. i'd hate to be going at it alone! i already question my every move, so when you have a network of peeps to consult and question, it helps so so much.
today while in fenton we went to visit sara and brad who just had a baby boy, cole william, two weeks ago. we told them we'd only stay for 15-20 minutes because i know how overwhelming those first few weeks can be with visitors while being exhausted. we took her a bag of snacks as she's breast feeding and i knew she'd be ravenous often and needing quick bites. btw, that is my new go to new mom gift- snacks! they love it. anyway, it was so dreamy holding that sweet baby boy. i couldn't help but to get teared up! i hogged him the short time we were there while sara and i chatted and she asked me mom questions such as "do you remember when the sleeping started to become more consistent?" or "were you exhausted those first couple of weeks?" or "do you remember if you had nights when it seemed like lucia didn't sleep at all?" it's so funny how you become an expert to other new moms, even though your experience is only a few more months ahead of their own. it's nice though too, to be able to offer up your own tips (i talked to her about the side ways light shake hold luci loved) and to tell them, as cliche as it sounds, it does get easier. it gets easier because as they grow, you learn and grow with them. but it's surely obvious that the challenge of motherhood will never cease.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
guess who
refused an afternoon nap (after snoozing about 3 hours from 10-1) but then decided to indulge herself in an early evening nap while on a walk? the same little one JUST went to bed at 830 after being so wound up and putting up a fight against sleep.
8 month (ish) update
miss lucia is now 8 months and a little over a week. the latest in her development is as follows:
she's a real rolly polly still and is learning how to get up in crawl position. she moves great backwards but is still trying to master the forward movement. sometimes she gets up in a pike position. the girl has killer abs! lol
so far every food she's tried, she likes after a bit of getting used to. we've added zucchini, more squash variations, cauliflower, plum, broccoli, yogurt and cottage cheese to her food group. she's also learning to eat rice krispie type cereal as a practice to pick them up and plop them in her mouth. she still is toothless so cheerio type cereal is just too much for her to handle now. she's learning to chew more as i've thickened up her foods (adding less water and making them a bit more chunky). she's a good eater! oh i should add that i tried eggs with lucia, and because babies are not supposed to eat the white of the egg, i boiled them and gave her the yolk. it was disgusting. trav said "99 percent of adults don't eat only a boiled egg yolk alone so why would luci want to?" point taken. we'll reintroduce eggs when she starts on more cheeses. poor girl!
she loves walking and swinging. we've been able to go daily these days so it's nice.
i bought a front/back pack that has changed my life and she loves it! i do too, finally i can embrace the baby wearing and be comfortable. all other models i've tried were hard on my body but i ordered THIS and it works so well! i can vacuum and cook with her on my back and dance with her on my front.
she's starting to pronounce a lot now and clearly says ba ba ba ba all the time so hopefully ma ma ma or da da da is next! she is very vocal and expresses herself by yelling, talking jibberish or grunting!
her sleeping is back to being fairly consistent and we've moved past the 5 am wake ups! she's still at 2 naps a day, ranging from 45 minutes to 3 hours at a time. she goes to sleep anywhere between 730-8 usually.
she's very social and loves being around people! she always turns on the charm.
and that's the life of an 8 month old little twerp that goes by the name of lucia dee.
time is flying that's for sure.
she's a real rolly polly still and is learning how to get up in crawl position. she moves great backwards but is still trying to master the forward movement. sometimes she gets up in a pike position. the girl has killer abs! lol
so far every food she's tried, she likes after a bit of getting used to. we've added zucchini, more squash variations, cauliflower, plum, broccoli, yogurt and cottage cheese to her food group. she's also learning to eat rice krispie type cereal as a practice to pick them up and plop them in her mouth. she still is toothless so cheerio type cereal is just too much for her to handle now. she's learning to chew more as i've thickened up her foods (adding less water and making them a bit more chunky). she's a good eater! oh i should add that i tried eggs with lucia, and because babies are not supposed to eat the white of the egg, i boiled them and gave her the yolk. it was disgusting. trav said "99 percent of adults don't eat only a boiled egg yolk alone so why would luci want to?" point taken. we'll reintroduce eggs when she starts on more cheeses. poor girl!
she loves walking and swinging. we've been able to go daily these days so it's nice.
i bought a front/back pack that has changed my life and she loves it! i do too, finally i can embrace the baby wearing and be comfortable. all other models i've tried were hard on my body but i ordered THIS and it works so well! i can vacuum and cook with her on my back and dance with her on my front.
she's starting to pronounce a lot now and clearly says ba ba ba ba all the time so hopefully ma ma ma or da da da is next! she is very vocal and expresses herself by yelling, talking jibberish or grunting!
her sleeping is back to being fairly consistent and we've moved past the 5 am wake ups! she's still at 2 naps a day, ranging from 45 minutes to 3 hours at a time. she goes to sleep anywhere between 730-8 usually.
she's very social and loves being around people! she always turns on the charm.
and that's the life of an 8 month old little twerp that goes by the name of lucia dee.
time is flying that's for sure.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
it's another one of those
all i want to do is eat sweets kind of days. before i realized it, i almost polished off an entire bag of caramel rice cakes.
i've had two cups of hot chocolate today and a million of those chocolate merengue things (low fat and boring, but what can you do?)
if i could i would eat an entire chocolate cake alone.
pancakes might be in order for dinner.
this is not natural!
i've had two cups of hot chocolate today and a million of those chocolate merengue things (low fat and boring, but what can you do?)
if i could i would eat an entire chocolate cake alone.
pancakes might be in order for dinner.
this is not natural!
wwyd?
lu and i walked to music class last night as it's only a mile and a half from home. when i arrived i had to use the bathroom so i wheeled in lucia's stroller in. upon opening the door, i was hit with one of the worst stenches i've ever smelled. i literally gasped and knew i had to make it quick and get out of there because a. i felt bad for luci and her little nose and b. i didn't want anyone to come in and think i was the beast that had let loose.
i hurried up and did my business and as i was washing my hands, our instructor walked in! i debated back and forth telling her "IT WASN'T ME!" but didn't. now i wish i had and am absolutely mortified.
hey, i know it's a bathroom and that's what you do in bathrooms, but this was a smell unlike any other.
i hurried up and did my business and as i was washing my hands, our instructor walked in! i debated back and forth telling her "IT WASN'T ME!" but didn't. now i wish i had and am absolutely mortified.
hey, i know it's a bathroom and that's what you do in bathrooms, but this was a smell unlike any other.
Monday, March 23, 2009
music
i have an obsession with music. i have for a long time. i've made lucia (and her friends and friends to be) many mixes so far. i'm always on the look out for new music for me, my friends and now luci and hers! (i was told recently though that i need to release a new mix per lundy! i've slacked a bit since momhood in making cd's for my poor friends.)
i discovered my favorite commercial baby/mom/kid cd thus far recently and i'm obsessed. THIS is just so good.
pure and sweet and fun to sing along to. when you click on the website you can listen to the songs and read the lyrics. i promise you'll love them all too.
we also love compilations from "for the kids"- a cd with various popular artists. check it out HERE. elizabeth mitchell is amazing too. love her stuff! check her site out HERE.
i discovered my favorite commercial baby/mom/kid cd thus far recently and i'm obsessed. THIS is just so good.
pure and sweet and fun to sing along to. when you click on the website you can listen to the songs and read the lyrics. i promise you'll love them all too.
we also love compilations from "for the kids"- a cd with various popular artists. check it out HERE. elizabeth mitchell is amazing too. love her stuff! check her site out HERE.
onesie
luci was gifted and awesome onesie that reads "enjoying an organic lifestyle" and under the armpits you'll find flowing brown armpit hair screened onto the shirt. (just like mommy! i kid i kid.) we tried to get some cute pix of it this weekend, but when you have a squirming punk, pix are hard! she was quite spunky (as always) when these shots were being taken. thought i'd post them for an early morning monday smile.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
play date with baby sage
friday lucia had a play date with four month old baby sage menzies. i love watching her interact with other babes. they were completely in awe of each other!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
crab no more
lucia absolutely redeemed herself by being a doll the rest of the day after verbally and physically abusing me this morning.:)
her auntie tara came over to see her this afternoon and she was an angel and so much fun (even after only taking a 45 minute nap that should have been much longer!)
she ate an exuberant amount of food for dinner (which makes me wonder if she is indeed growing because her appetite has increased lately) and before bed daddy read her several books.
my heart was melting watching them read together because she was behaving herself so well and looked as if she was very interested in what he was reading. but the thing that got me the most was her little feet.
i just look at her little face and i want to go into her room and pick her up and squeeze her even though i just put her down. what a beauty. my little tart n' tiny! (that's one of our new ones)
her auntie tara came over to see her this afternoon and she was an angel and so much fun (even after only taking a 45 minute nap that should have been much longer!)
she ate an exuberant amount of food for dinner (which makes me wonder if she is indeed growing because her appetite has increased lately) and before bed daddy read her several books.
my heart was melting watching them read together because she was behaving herself so well and looked as if she was very interested in what he was reading. but the thing that got me the most was her little feet.
i just look at her little face and i want to go into her room and pick her up and squeeze her even though i just put her down. what a beauty. my little tart n' tiny! (that's one of our new ones)
blasted time change
since the time change, lu's awesome sleeping schedule has went to hell. i blame it on the time change, but perhaps it's her teeth that everyone tells me are coming that are still not here.
instead of rising at the glorious hour of 7ish or so, she's now waking around 530. it's not awesome. because when she wakes at 530, she is extremely foul by around 7ish and i can only hold or push her in her umbrella stroller around the house. sometimes tickle me elmo can do the trick, but only for a short time.
i feed her while she yells at me around 8ish and this makes me foul because nobody likes to be yelled at in the early morning. i know maybe i should feed her earlier for a more pleasant experience, but i dont' want to put her down for a damn nap at 730- she should be waking up at that time!
sometimes i don't know why i record nap times or schedule times because they change so quickly. you get excited that something might stick and it doesn't. i remember when i was with some new moms and a woman there was joyful because her daughter was sleeping very well at night. she was about two months and the moms with older children (only a few months older) haughtily declared "don't get used to it!" i remember being so annoyed, like how dare you rain on this woman's parade. maybe it won't stick but let her enjoy it! it very well might! now i realize their comments were valid (however, i will never say that to another mom. that kind of know it all behavior is so ANNOYING.)things with babies can change so fast. once you nail something, it can all go to hell in a handbasket. (hate that saying)
i know this is probably just another fluke and bump in the road. i feel petty even blogging about it because i know it will pass. it's just frustrating being woken up so early to be basically treated like crap by an infant! lol i have a long day ahead of me with work and clients and being nice when right now i too feel like being a crab along with lucia.
as i type this, i've had to intervene a couple times and soothe her, another thing we're going back to after a couple months of easy put downs. i still can't let her cry, no matter how mean she is being to me this morning. it could be her teeth, or her stomach or a number of things. there is a reason she is crying, i just wish i could figure it out. you just want to say "tell me what is it you want!?" i think that is the most frustrating thing.
oh and her wake up time has nothing to do with the time she goes down at night. whether she is asleep by 7 or fights it until 8 or 830 (last night she didn't want to go to sleep because she took a huge 3 hour nap at janes!) she still gets up early. i should add i would not mind if she got up that early and was her happy self. but when she is foul and clearly needs more sleep, it sucks.
ok i'm done. i just had to complain via blog because it's so easy that way. nobody wants to hear me whine on the phone and i hate doing that to my friends. i wouldn't do it to my single friends because they have no idea and i wouldn't do it to my mom friends because they have their children to take care of, and don't have time to listen to my boring complaints!
she's now sleeping. i hope she wakes up happy!
instead of rising at the glorious hour of 7ish or so, she's now waking around 530. it's not awesome. because when she wakes at 530, she is extremely foul by around 7ish and i can only hold or push her in her umbrella stroller around the house. sometimes tickle me elmo can do the trick, but only for a short time.
i feed her while she yells at me around 8ish and this makes me foul because nobody likes to be yelled at in the early morning. i know maybe i should feed her earlier for a more pleasant experience, but i dont' want to put her down for a damn nap at 730- she should be waking up at that time!
sometimes i don't know why i record nap times or schedule times because they change so quickly. you get excited that something might stick and it doesn't. i remember when i was with some new moms and a woman there was joyful because her daughter was sleeping very well at night. she was about two months and the moms with older children (only a few months older) haughtily declared "don't get used to it!" i remember being so annoyed, like how dare you rain on this woman's parade. maybe it won't stick but let her enjoy it! it very well might! now i realize their comments were valid (however, i will never say that to another mom. that kind of know it all behavior is so ANNOYING.)things with babies can change so fast. once you nail something, it can all go to hell in a handbasket. (hate that saying)
i know this is probably just another fluke and bump in the road. i feel petty even blogging about it because i know it will pass. it's just frustrating being woken up so early to be basically treated like crap by an infant! lol i have a long day ahead of me with work and clients and being nice when right now i too feel like being a crab along with lucia.
as i type this, i've had to intervene a couple times and soothe her, another thing we're going back to after a couple months of easy put downs. i still can't let her cry, no matter how mean she is being to me this morning. it could be her teeth, or her stomach or a number of things. there is a reason she is crying, i just wish i could figure it out. you just want to say "tell me what is it you want!?" i think that is the most frustrating thing.
oh and her wake up time has nothing to do with the time she goes down at night. whether she is asleep by 7 or fights it until 8 or 830 (last night she didn't want to go to sleep because she took a huge 3 hour nap at janes!) she still gets up early. i should add i would not mind if she got up that early and was her happy self. but when she is foul and clearly needs more sleep, it sucks.
ok i'm done. i just had to complain via blog because it's so easy that way. nobody wants to hear me whine on the phone and i hate doing that to my friends. i wouldn't do it to my single friends because they have no idea and i wouldn't do it to my mom friends because they have their children to take care of, and don't have time to listen to my boring complaints!
she's now sleeping. i hope she wakes up happy!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
$307 and 10 lbs later
i took beatle to the vet today for routine heartworm tests and to get his lee press on nails trimmed because he refuses to let the groomer do it. so ridiculous. anyway, prior to his bloodwork and manicure, he got weighed. i saw 102 lbs flash across the screen. "no way!" i said "that has to be wrong!" the tech weighed him again and sure enough, it wasn't.
i was shocked! i took his weight gain personally, as if i was the one that gained 10 lbs in the past year. (oh wait, i did, and then some!) i felt horrible. i immediately started making excuses, yet vowing the next time we came in, his weight would be lower.
prior to lucia, bailey and i ran, a lot. i have a a love/hate relationship with running. i hate thinking about it and knowing i have to do it, but i love the way i feel when i'm done, or after i've completed a race. who doesn't? however, when i started going through treatments to get pregnant, i stopped running so much per my docs orders. it's almost been two full years since bailey has had weekly, almost every day runs.
we just started back up again last week. slowly but surely, we've been doing 2-2.5 miles a day. my goal is to keep running at least 3 times a week (in between the gym which i also hate) and keep increasing the distance and run a few 5 k races this summer. maybe even the crim. not sure though because i particularly hate that 10 mile race. (i've done it 5 times though- see what i mean about love/hate?)
anyway that is my vow and next time i blog about beatle's weight, he'll have a slimmer figure. poor dude! just another guilt i have as a mom, feeling bad for my boy's lack of running due to my role as a mom. i have to pay special attention to his fitness now though and go beyond walks. he's 8 now, which qualifies him as a SENIOR. i'd hate for him to carry around extra weight to make him uncomfortable, so that is my biggest motivating factor toward the operation beatle weight loss battle.
overall, i knew his activity has slowed down since my pregnancy and birth of lucia, but he still ALWAYS got walked a few times a week at least! excuses no more, me and my boy are going to work hard to go back to our pre pregnancy bodies!
i was shocked! i took his weight gain personally, as if i was the one that gained 10 lbs in the past year. (oh wait, i did, and then some!) i felt horrible. i immediately started making excuses, yet vowing the next time we came in, his weight would be lower.
prior to lucia, bailey and i ran, a lot. i have a a love/hate relationship with running. i hate thinking about it and knowing i have to do it, but i love the way i feel when i'm done, or after i've completed a race. who doesn't? however, when i started going through treatments to get pregnant, i stopped running so much per my docs orders. it's almost been two full years since bailey has had weekly, almost every day runs.
we just started back up again last week. slowly but surely, we've been doing 2-2.5 miles a day. my goal is to keep running at least 3 times a week (in between the gym which i also hate) and keep increasing the distance and run a few 5 k races this summer. maybe even the crim. not sure though because i particularly hate that 10 mile race. (i've done it 5 times though- see what i mean about love/hate?)
anyway that is my vow and next time i blog about beatle's weight, he'll have a slimmer figure. poor dude! just another guilt i have as a mom, feeling bad for my boy's lack of running due to my role as a mom. i have to pay special attention to his fitness now though and go beyond walks. he's 8 now, which qualifies him as a SENIOR. i'd hate for him to carry around extra weight to make him uncomfortable, so that is my biggest motivating factor toward the operation beatle weight loss battle.
overall, i knew his activity has slowed down since my pregnancy and birth of lucia, but he still ALWAYS got walked a few times a week at least! excuses no more, me and my boy are going to work hard to go back to our pre pregnancy bodies!
baby weave?
THIS might be one of the grossest things i've ever seen! how is this even right?
it's like saying "here honey, put this weave on. you're not pretty enough for mommy without a massive head of unrealistic looking hair, so you need to wear this." i hate the pressure we put on women, let alone now it's reaching down to infants? that is so gross! and i thought pierced ears were bad!
just my rant for the day. i would love to buy these as a joke to mortify friends that are moms to be, and to get a good laugh, but i would not even spend a dime to support this company!
however, THISis something i would buy! i've wanted one since i saw them advertised when pregnant but never gave into the temptation. maybe soon! :)
it's like saying "here honey, put this weave on. you're not pretty enough for mommy without a massive head of unrealistic looking hair, so you need to wear this." i hate the pressure we put on women, let alone now it's reaching down to infants? that is so gross! and i thought pierced ears were bad!
just my rant for the day. i would love to buy these as a joke to mortify friends that are moms to be, and to get a good laugh, but i would not even spend a dime to support this company!
however, THISis something i would buy! i've wanted one since i saw them advertised when pregnant but never gave into the temptation. maybe soon! :)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
happy st. patty's day!
i just went on a walk with beatle (lu is sleeping and trav is working from home) and encountered a very drunk blondie unable to walk a straight line. then i passed a few beer bong games. ahhh, the day drink, there's nothing like it. catch a buzz, go to bed early, and wake up feeling groovy. i'm not jealous. ok... maybe a little bit.
i'm celebrating with lucia tonight as she chomps down her pureed broccoli. that's about as wild (and as green) as it will get over here tonight!
happy st. patty's day everyone.
i'm celebrating with lucia tonight as she chomps down her pureed broccoli. that's about as wild (and as green) as it will get over here tonight!
happy st. patty's day everyone.
Monday, March 16, 2009
the best compliment
up until july 16, 2008, the best compliment i could ever receive was "wow, you look skinny in that" or "have you lost weight?" (or any variation of the two)
now, the best complement i can receive is "you are a good mom." it's so simple but such an awesome thing to hear. you know we don't give ourselves credit, so it's nice when other people do!
yet another great advantage of becoming a mom, less body obsession. oh please, i'm still obsessed, but a little less now! :)
now, the best complement i can receive is "you are a good mom." it's so simple but such an awesome thing to hear. you know we don't give ourselves credit, so it's nice when other people do!
yet another great advantage of becoming a mom, less body obsession. oh please, i'm still obsessed, but a little less now! :)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
fresh air
"if we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
-anne bradstreet
what a difference some sunshine and fresh air can make. because of the beautiful weekend we spent a lot of time walking, swinging and playing in the yard. it was absolutely wonderful. on a walk today, i literally inhaled the air as i was taught to when i was first learning to run long distances, deeply through my nose, taking it all in. i felt so good.
luci really loves walks too, just chills out, taking in the sights. it's so nice being so close to MSU's campus, because i never tire of the scenery. today we walked along the river and stopped to check out the ducks and water breaking over a dam. she was mesmerized!
because she faces forward in her stroller, every 10 or so minutes i'll stop to run in front of her to say hi. today several times i would say "lucia, lucia?" and she would hear me obviously, but remain transfixed on whatever she was staring at, while smiling slyly refusing to look at me. she has quite the personality already, my naughty girl. she sits rather smugly in her stroller, just pleased as punch to be out in the big world.
she went to sleep about an hour early tonight. i am hoping it's because she's tired from our long weekend outside and i'm not totally screwed tonight or tomorrow morning with an extreme early wake up.
i told trav a week or so ago, i anticipated this winter to be a lot worse and longer than it seemed. winter always sucks and overall is a real hassle. driving is scary, bundling up is cumbersome and annoying, and now schlepping a baby is more work. but i was happy to report, this winter was the fastest on record all because of little lucia and her ability to make time fly. however, when i read the quote i posted earlier i thought "aha! so true." winter is to remind us to relish every moment of spring and summer. even though it was shorter this year in my mind, it's still winter. as george harrison sang "here comes the sun, and i say, it's alright."
yay!
-anne bradstreet
what a difference some sunshine and fresh air can make. because of the beautiful weekend we spent a lot of time walking, swinging and playing in the yard. it was absolutely wonderful. on a walk today, i literally inhaled the air as i was taught to when i was first learning to run long distances, deeply through my nose, taking it all in. i felt so good.
luci really loves walks too, just chills out, taking in the sights. it's so nice being so close to MSU's campus, because i never tire of the scenery. today we walked along the river and stopped to check out the ducks and water breaking over a dam. she was mesmerized!
because she faces forward in her stroller, every 10 or so minutes i'll stop to run in front of her to say hi. today several times i would say "lucia, lucia?" and she would hear me obviously, but remain transfixed on whatever she was staring at, while smiling slyly refusing to look at me. she has quite the personality already, my naughty girl. she sits rather smugly in her stroller, just pleased as punch to be out in the big world.
she went to sleep about an hour early tonight. i am hoping it's because she's tired from our long weekend outside and i'm not totally screwed tonight or tomorrow morning with an extreme early wake up.
i told trav a week or so ago, i anticipated this winter to be a lot worse and longer than it seemed. winter always sucks and overall is a real hassle. driving is scary, bundling up is cumbersome and annoying, and now schlepping a baby is more work. but i was happy to report, this winter was the fastest on record all because of little lucia and her ability to make time fly. however, when i read the quote i posted earlier i thought "aha! so true." winter is to remind us to relish every moment of spring and summer. even though it was shorter this year in my mind, it's still winter. as george harrison sang "here comes the sun, and i say, it's alright."
yay!
utter cuteness
lucia has a new ridiculous face she makes. she just started to make it today. she scrunches her nose and squints her eyes and puffs out her nose all at the same time. it's awesomely cute. of course i got a picture of her doing it while trying on her new bathing suit (one of six for florida and the summer, thank you very much.) yes i realize that is ridiculous but i don't buy them all!
sunglasses
we're trying to get lucia accustomed to wearing sunglasses during walks and for the upcoming florida trip and summer on the water. she's not really sure what to think of them. beatle bailey isn't either.
Friday, March 13, 2009
one step further away
i'm finding that my little one no longer likes to be rocked before she is put down. as you know, for many months i completely rocked lucia to sleep, loving every moment of it. when she became dependent on it and i started reading about the dreaded "sleep training" i knew it would be best for her if she learned how to go to sleep on her own. in no time she did and i was triumphant, yet a little sad of course as she took one step further away from depending on me for everything.
i try to rock her a bit now and it seems she just wants to be put down, to gab away and flop like a fish in her crib before putting herself to sleep. i miss tucking her little body into mine, with her right arm wrapped around my side and head resting in the crook of my arm. or before that, when she would sleep so closely on my shoulder, where i could feel and smell her sweet baby's breath on my face. i'm so grateful i relished that feeling because it was gone oh so quick.
i melt now when she rests her little head on my shoulder now, albeit briefly. i would like to hold her there forever! she however would much rather stick her fingers up my nose, yank on my buttons and jewelry, attempt back bends to get out of my arms or wholeheartedly suck on my face.
again i post about the push and pull of emotions surrounding motherhood. if i hadn't realized the concept of self soothing, i'm pretty sure i'd still be rocking her to sleep. i'm happy where we are now with her sleeping and her growth, but who doesn't yearn for or miss the days their child was just a little wee one just home from the hospital again, even if it was only a few months ago that we were there. so far, those were the sweetest days of my life. absolute magic. not that the days are still not sweet, but rather are filled up now more with excitement, growth and laughter.
i was talking to amy the other day, who sadly reported she was done nursing nola. at 13 or so months, nola was ready to move on. it brought amy much sadness as yet another phase/milestone was complete. i believe that although she'll miss the closeness and bonding of nursing, the ending of it also brings the realization that again, it's nola taking one step further away from her dependence on amy. amy said she wept as she did when her father passed away realizing her last time nursing. her husband nick doesn't understand. nor i'm sure will trav when our time comes. and although you hope and pray you'll have another one to nurse and nurture, it doesn't take away from the fact that you'll never nurse your FIRST BORN again. one step further away...
i try to rock her a bit now and it seems she just wants to be put down, to gab away and flop like a fish in her crib before putting herself to sleep. i miss tucking her little body into mine, with her right arm wrapped around my side and head resting in the crook of my arm. or before that, when she would sleep so closely on my shoulder, where i could feel and smell her sweet baby's breath on my face. i'm so grateful i relished that feeling because it was gone oh so quick.
i melt now when she rests her little head on my shoulder now, albeit briefly. i would like to hold her there forever! she however would much rather stick her fingers up my nose, yank on my buttons and jewelry, attempt back bends to get out of my arms or wholeheartedly suck on my face.
again i post about the push and pull of emotions surrounding motherhood. if i hadn't realized the concept of self soothing, i'm pretty sure i'd still be rocking her to sleep. i'm happy where we are now with her sleeping and her growth, but who doesn't yearn for or miss the days their child was just a little wee one just home from the hospital again, even if it was only a few months ago that we were there. so far, those were the sweetest days of my life. absolute magic. not that the days are still not sweet, but rather are filled up now more with excitement, growth and laughter.
i was talking to amy the other day, who sadly reported she was done nursing nola. at 13 or so months, nola was ready to move on. it brought amy much sadness as yet another phase/milestone was complete. i believe that although she'll miss the closeness and bonding of nursing, the ending of it also brings the realization that again, it's nola taking one step further away from her dependence on amy. amy said she wept as she did when her father passed away realizing her last time nursing. her husband nick doesn't understand. nor i'm sure will trav when our time comes. and although you hope and pray you'll have another one to nurse and nurture, it doesn't take away from the fact that you'll never nurse your FIRST BORN again. one step further away...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
trav on the defensive
it seems trav was a little "put off" by my most recent post about his getting up at night. i'm cracking up as i type this. he wrote the below blog as a retort. see below. i knew he'd take it the wrong way! but we are both cracking up as i post this. and for the record, he wasn't complaining much, just saying he was tired. and i'll give him a shout out here because he deserves it- he does most of the laundry and diapers every week!
Wow...I guess I need to read this blog more often to see what else my wife says about me. Not that I want to defend myself via "blog" but since tali man-hated on me (and all men) I guess will have to share with everyone.
I was simply making a statement about how I was tired and couldnt fall back asleep the other night. By no means was I looking for sympathy. It probably didnt help that we had a lack of sleep from our Chicago trip. You should have heard her complain how tired she was on the drive home. Luckily for her she didnt have to drive home. If tali actually was listening to me she would have understood that.
This brings me to my next point. Tali does not listen to a word I say. I can say something in a conversation and 2 minutes later she asks me what I just said. I mean its like she is a man when it comes to listening. So for her to say I was complaining about having to get up to tend to Luci is ridiculous!!
For what its worth I always appreciated what tali did the last 6 months. Getting up with Luci and all. Maybe I should have let it be known a little more. Its just too bad it all had to known via blogging to everyone else. Maybe we need to communicate with each other, not everyone.
Sorry for everyone for being a "Martyr."
P.S. I am starting a blog called
www.replytotalisoapbox.com
Wow...I guess I need to read this blog more often to see what else my wife says about me. Not that I want to defend myself via "blog" but since tali man-hated on me (and all men) I guess will have to share with everyone.
I was simply making a statement about how I was tired and couldnt fall back asleep the other night. By no means was I looking for sympathy. It probably didnt help that we had a lack of sleep from our Chicago trip. You should have heard her complain how tired she was on the drive home. Luckily for her she didnt have to drive home. If tali actually was listening to me she would have understood that.
This brings me to my next point. Tali does not listen to a word I say. I can say something in a conversation and 2 minutes later she asks me what I just said. I mean its like she is a man when it comes to listening. So for her to say I was complaining about having to get up to tend to Luci is ridiculous!!
For what its worth I always appreciated what tali did the last 6 months. Getting up with Luci and all. Maybe I should have let it be known a little more. Its just too bad it all had to known via blogging to everyone else. Maybe we need to communicate with each other, not everyone.
Sorry for everyone for being a "Martyr."
P.S. I am starting a blog called
www.replytotalisoapbox.com
ice cream for dinner
i was watching "jon and kate plus 8" the other day and saw an episode in which they treated their kids to "ice cream for dinner!" kate said it was a tradition when she was growing up, and one she would cherish always.
it was so cool watching the excitement exuded by the kids being allowed to eat ice cream for dinner. i thought, now this is one thing i think we'll do with lucia. but we can do it twice a year, once in the winter and once in the summer too!
i'll do it so it's something she can remember, but i'd be lying if i didn't say it sure sounds quite heavenly to me also!
it was so cool watching the excitement exuded by the kids being allowed to eat ice cream for dinner. i thought, now this is one thing i think we'll do with lucia. but we can do it twice a year, once in the winter and once in the summer too!
i'll do it so it's something she can remember, but i'd be lying if i didn't say it sure sounds quite heavenly to me also!
"you don't even care, do you?"
once every few nights or so lucia will have moved so much in her crib, it's hard for her to resettle on her own without a little intervention. for the most part, she's been sleeping through the night steadily without having to eat for about 2 weeks now. i'm starting to get used to it but trying not to because i know she is bound to sprout teeth any day and our nights could become a bit unpleasant. maybe not, but i'm still prepared for it.
on the days she needs resettling, i send trav into her room because i don't want her to want to eat. i feel bad saying that, but she's not hungry. if she was, i'd have no problem feeding her and if she doesn't settle with trav i'll go in there and do just that. however so far, she's just needed a bit of rocking and will go right back down.
trav unfortunately has issues with falling back asleep after he gets her settled. he was complaining to me the other day and i just listened but didn't say much to which he says "you don't even care, do you?" i had to honestly say "no, i really don't." (think b*tchy thoughts about me now!)
i've been up nights since july 16. granted in the beginning, so was he. i needed help picking her up from her bassinet because of my c-section, and obviously as a newborn, she was up so often that there was no way he was sleeping through. after i healed and things go easier, i became the sole riser during the night as i was the only one that could feed her and i truly did not mind.
i was never that woman that made her husband get up with her to "be fair." parenting is never truly "fair." if it was, trav would produce milk as well and we could take turns. because he can not, i found no sense in having him wake to help me. he was grateful, but not sure he ever truly understood how nice it was.
now, the tables have turned a bit and the playing fields are evening out, if you care about those things. i have to admit, it's nice to lay in bed while he goes in to settle luci on the nights she needs it. i still wake up because the monitor is on my side (i'd never part with that!) but i go right back to sleep. in addition, i can't help but to think about the time trav told me "well you get up every night, so you've got to be used to it by now" which i had to reply "you never get used to getting up twice a night when you would otherwise be sound asleep!"
i guess i'm taking a little bit of satisfaction in the fact, or hoping at least, that he now truly understands the previous 6 months or so of me waking while he slept. now don't get me wrong, of course trav is a great dad and ALWAYS helps out no matter what. and trust me, if lucia was bottle fed, we'd have been sharing duties since her birth. but it's nice now that he can resettle her alone without me. it's gross to say i'm "lucky" that he does it without truly minding, because he's the dad and he should. but i know plenty of men that have never woken in the night, because they think it's their wife's job. that just blows my mind. while we're on that subject, i hate it when people say "oh he's (the dad) is so good with the baby, he (insert thing he does with the baby here) every day." i want to say "yeah he should, he's the FATHER!!!!" another thing that is ridiculosu when people say "oh (dad's name) babysat the baby yesterday." no he didn't! once again, HE IS THE FATHER, NOT THE BABYSITTER!
what i'm trying to say is, often in life, men get a lot more credit than they deserve. i'm grateful trav is such a great dad, and husband. i couldn't ask for anyone better. i truly mean that and know i am so incredibly lucky. he's AWESOME. but i'm not going to declare him a martyr for waking in the night once or twice a week. sorry, i'm just not.
and in the meantime, i might put a couple extra pacis in her crib strategically placed for when she does wiggle a bit to much to find her way back to home base. maybe that will work!
on the days she needs resettling, i send trav into her room because i don't want her to want to eat. i feel bad saying that, but she's not hungry. if she was, i'd have no problem feeding her and if she doesn't settle with trav i'll go in there and do just that. however so far, she's just needed a bit of rocking and will go right back down.
trav unfortunately has issues with falling back asleep after he gets her settled. he was complaining to me the other day and i just listened but didn't say much to which he says "you don't even care, do you?" i had to honestly say "no, i really don't." (think b*tchy thoughts about me now!)
i've been up nights since july 16. granted in the beginning, so was he. i needed help picking her up from her bassinet because of my c-section, and obviously as a newborn, she was up so often that there was no way he was sleeping through. after i healed and things go easier, i became the sole riser during the night as i was the only one that could feed her and i truly did not mind.
i was never that woman that made her husband get up with her to "be fair." parenting is never truly "fair." if it was, trav would produce milk as well and we could take turns. because he can not, i found no sense in having him wake to help me. he was grateful, but not sure he ever truly understood how nice it was.
now, the tables have turned a bit and the playing fields are evening out, if you care about those things. i have to admit, it's nice to lay in bed while he goes in to settle luci on the nights she needs it. i still wake up because the monitor is on my side (i'd never part with that!) but i go right back to sleep. in addition, i can't help but to think about the time trav told me "well you get up every night, so you've got to be used to it by now" which i had to reply "you never get used to getting up twice a night when you would otherwise be sound asleep!"
i guess i'm taking a little bit of satisfaction in the fact, or hoping at least, that he now truly understands the previous 6 months or so of me waking while he slept. now don't get me wrong, of course trav is a great dad and ALWAYS helps out no matter what. and trust me, if lucia was bottle fed, we'd have been sharing duties since her birth. but it's nice now that he can resettle her alone without me. it's gross to say i'm "lucky" that he does it without truly minding, because he's the dad and he should. but i know plenty of men that have never woken in the night, because they think it's their wife's job. that just blows my mind. while we're on that subject, i hate it when people say "oh he's (the dad) is so good with the baby, he (insert thing he does with the baby here) every day." i want to say "yeah he should, he's the FATHER!!!!" another thing that is ridiculosu when people say "oh (dad's name) babysat the baby yesterday." no he didn't! once again, HE IS THE FATHER, NOT THE BABYSITTER!
what i'm trying to say is, often in life, men get a lot more credit than they deserve. i'm grateful trav is such a great dad, and husband. i couldn't ask for anyone better. i truly mean that and know i am so incredibly lucky. he's AWESOME. but i'm not going to declare him a martyr for waking in the night once or twice a week. sorry, i'm just not.
and in the meantime, i might put a couple extra pacis in her crib strategically placed for when she does wiggle a bit to much to find her way back to home base. maybe that will work!
Monday, March 9, 2009
swings
we took lu to the park for the first time on friday. she loved the swing. trav told me i was like the annoying paparazzi, but i don't care. she's just so darn sweet. there are also a couple images of her with her new hat on from busie. it's ridiculously cute!
i did it
we survived my first night away from lucia.
when scharf announced he was moving to germany from chicago for a year and leaving march 20, i knew we had to see him to say goodbye. time was ticking and our only option was planning a little going away party night in chicago on saturday night. leading up to the getaway i was nervous, but knew i had to do it!
we left around 1 pm on saturday and arrived in chicago around 4 pm CST. we were able to visit with our friends erin, brian and their son quinn and then meet up with the old crew to begin the night. i basically started drinking at 4 to calm my nerves and didn't look back. (yes i pumped and dumped and boy, is that painful in a i feel like i'm wasting so much kind of way)
we had a ton of fun and nearly everyone i used to hang out with on a weekly basis when i lived in chicago was there to celebrate. i laughed my butt off and really had a great time. however, on the drive home i said to trav "as good as a time i had last night, i would always rather be at home with lucia." and i absolutely mean it. i missed our nightly ritual the most and waking to her smiling face in the morning.
we woke early and headed home because all i wanted to do is see my girl and bury my nose into her little neck that smells like marshmallows. i was so happy to see her and have no plans to leave her again anytime soon!
i truly had a self indulgent weekend and when i used that term to some of my childless girlfriends, i'm not sure they understood as the weekend i had is completely normal to them as it was to me only about a year ago. friday i had sushi with busie and lindsey after shopping for clothes for myself during the day with luci. saturday was my big night out on the town and then sunday i went to the fleetwood mac show with my mom (it was her christmas present from me). the show was absolutely amazing- one of the best i've ever seen and that says a lot. i was on the go the entire weekend. it was such a different weekend for me, yet for so many years it was the absolute norm.
it was cool to compare my current life and former life as the world's collided happily on saturday night. it's awesome when friends can all come together again, yet so very rare. while during the younger years of our lives, it was commonplace to be surrounded by friends and frivolous fun on a daily basis, now it's a rare treat. but everything evolves and one thing replaces the other. it's all a part of the circle of life and growth!
i don't have the energy to reflect more at this time, but amy sent me THIS and it says it all. this article is one many a new mom can relate to.
when scharf announced he was moving to germany from chicago for a year and leaving march 20, i knew we had to see him to say goodbye. time was ticking and our only option was planning a little going away party night in chicago on saturday night. leading up to the getaway i was nervous, but knew i had to do it!
we left around 1 pm on saturday and arrived in chicago around 4 pm CST. we were able to visit with our friends erin, brian and their son quinn and then meet up with the old crew to begin the night. i basically started drinking at 4 to calm my nerves and didn't look back. (yes i pumped and dumped and boy, is that painful in a i feel like i'm wasting so much kind of way)
we had a ton of fun and nearly everyone i used to hang out with on a weekly basis when i lived in chicago was there to celebrate. i laughed my butt off and really had a great time. however, on the drive home i said to trav "as good as a time i had last night, i would always rather be at home with lucia." and i absolutely mean it. i missed our nightly ritual the most and waking to her smiling face in the morning.
we woke early and headed home because all i wanted to do is see my girl and bury my nose into her little neck that smells like marshmallows. i was so happy to see her and have no plans to leave her again anytime soon!
i truly had a self indulgent weekend and when i used that term to some of my childless girlfriends, i'm not sure they understood as the weekend i had is completely normal to them as it was to me only about a year ago. friday i had sushi with busie and lindsey after shopping for clothes for myself during the day with luci. saturday was my big night out on the town and then sunday i went to the fleetwood mac show with my mom (it was her christmas present from me). the show was absolutely amazing- one of the best i've ever seen and that says a lot. i was on the go the entire weekend. it was such a different weekend for me, yet for so many years it was the absolute norm.
it was cool to compare my current life and former life as the world's collided happily on saturday night. it's awesome when friends can all come together again, yet so very rare. while during the younger years of our lives, it was commonplace to be surrounded by friends and frivolous fun on a daily basis, now it's a rare treat. but everything evolves and one thing replaces the other. it's all a part of the circle of life and growth!
i don't have the energy to reflect more at this time, but amy sent me THIS and it says it all. this article is one many a new mom can relate to.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
i'm starting to get it
i'm amazed at the feelings i experience now when i read sad stories or see great joys. for instance, yesterday i found myself crying during american idol when a blind contestant was put into the finals thinking "i'll bet his parents are so proud." or as i watched on cnn.com a story of an 11 year old girl that was dying, tears streamed down my face unable to fathom the emotions her parents must be going through, and what a huge loss of life it was. i found out a coworker was having a baby girl and i was thrilled, knowing what utter joy she has in store. i talk to the nooks about her pregnancy and my heart skips a beat just thinking about how amazing it is she is pregnant again! all these situations offer so much more meaning now that i am a parent myself. from happiness to sadness, everything is just SO MUCH MORE.
having kids isn't for everyone (and frankly there are many people in this world that definitely should never be parents) but i feel such a stronger connection to those people i know that are parents, or even the people i don't know. the bond with my mom friends has gotten so much stronger and i can't wait for my friends that are not yet parents to experience it. i'd be lying if i didn't say there was a gap between my childless friends in many ways and even though they now know me as a mom, they just don't fully get that part of me, that part of life. i can't wait until they do! my life is just so much MORE. it's as simple and as big as that. being a mom is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. i think that's a pretty universal statement.
back to my previous point.
i'm reading the book written by randy pausch surrounding his iconic "last lecture" speech that was given when he knew he was dying of pancreatic cancer and leaving his wife and three young children under 5 behind. in preparing for his death, he wanted to leave his legacy behind for the children he loved so much that would never truly know their dad. i can only read a couple chapters a night because it makes me so sad, but the book is filled with wonderful messages, i'm determined to read it and take from it what he intended. with that said, i'm starting to understand just how hard it must have been for him to write the book. here he had so many awesome experiences, so much wisdom to share, and all his children would know was of his legacy. so tragic, but at least he had one to leave.
i've found myself the past couple days being brought down by the small things- bothered by what people say or do to me, when really, i need to focus on what matters and that's the person that i want to be for my daughter. for those of you that knew me before travis, i really could hold a grudge. i angered a lot easier and would never mince words, often regretting the venom that i spewed forth. my irrationality has always been my worst quality. thankfully, i've risen above it exponentially, but sometimes, the devil of it all still eats at my heart.
as anger was getting the best of me today, i opened up my heart and said i need to let it go because i am so blessed and in the blink of an eye, everything could change. as i walked this afternoon with bailey and lucia i thought life is too damn short to sweat the small things. i kept saying to myself- stop. relax. breathe. repeat. the change of seasons today gave me a sense of new beginnings. i am still such a work in progress, in terms of creating the legacy i want to leave my family someday, but i really really am trying. i have no plans on going away anytime soon, but like i said, poof- it could be gone in an instant. i just need to focus on living my best every single day.
having kids isn't for everyone (and frankly there are many people in this world that definitely should never be parents) but i feel such a stronger connection to those people i know that are parents, or even the people i don't know. the bond with my mom friends has gotten so much stronger and i can't wait for my friends that are not yet parents to experience it. i'd be lying if i didn't say there was a gap between my childless friends in many ways and even though they now know me as a mom, they just don't fully get that part of me, that part of life. i can't wait until they do! my life is just so much MORE. it's as simple and as big as that. being a mom is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. i think that's a pretty universal statement.
back to my previous point.
i'm reading the book written by randy pausch surrounding his iconic "last lecture" speech that was given when he knew he was dying of pancreatic cancer and leaving his wife and three young children under 5 behind. in preparing for his death, he wanted to leave his legacy behind for the children he loved so much that would never truly know their dad. i can only read a couple chapters a night because it makes me so sad, but the book is filled with wonderful messages, i'm determined to read it and take from it what he intended. with that said, i'm starting to understand just how hard it must have been for him to write the book. here he had so many awesome experiences, so much wisdom to share, and all his children would know was of his legacy. so tragic, but at least he had one to leave.
i've found myself the past couple days being brought down by the small things- bothered by what people say or do to me, when really, i need to focus on what matters and that's the person that i want to be for my daughter. for those of you that knew me before travis, i really could hold a grudge. i angered a lot easier and would never mince words, often regretting the venom that i spewed forth. my irrationality has always been my worst quality. thankfully, i've risen above it exponentially, but sometimes, the devil of it all still eats at my heart.
as anger was getting the best of me today, i opened up my heart and said i need to let it go because i am so blessed and in the blink of an eye, everything could change. as i walked this afternoon with bailey and lucia i thought life is too damn short to sweat the small things. i kept saying to myself- stop. relax. breathe. repeat. the change of seasons today gave me a sense of new beginnings. i am still such a work in progress, in terms of creating the legacy i want to leave my family someday, but i really really am trying. i have no plans on going away anytime soon, but like i said, poof- it could be gone in an instant. i just need to focus on living my best every single day.
manny
jidu brought lucia home a stuffed manatee from florida. it squeeks and she loves it. check out her face also. she's been rubbing her gums together a lot like that lately, making me think the teeth are coming!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
food
it's no secret i thoroughly enjoy nursing lu and was sad when she turned 6 months and knew i had to introduce another form of nutrition. i was hesitant and nervous about the extra step, not to mention the thought of her getting older and not needing me as much made me sad. i've become very attached to her via nursing in a way i never imagined.
as with every new step in mommy and babyhood, the food thing has been easy and we've just adapted. she eats cereal and fruit in the morning and cereal, fruit and two veggies in the evening. today jane asked me when i was going to start feeding her a lunchtime meal. hmmmm, i hadn't thought of it i said. but now i'm thinking of it and i'm wondering when do i start?
she seems totally content right now and not overly hungry at all. she's very well nourished and i don't want to push anything. then again, she was fine exclusively nursing as well. sure she curiously grabbed for my cups when i would drink or stared while i ate, but what inquisitive baby doesn't?
i guess i worry about stuffing her by adding another meal, but at the same time, i'm pretty sure it's about time i can. i also want to ensure she's getting most of her nutrition from my milk until she's a year old.
truth be told, i'd still only be nursing if i could. i like it that much and find it not a burden at all. i admit i do yearn for the day when i can wear a nice bra again, not a snap down nurser. and i really really hope i'm one of the women that loses a couple sizes when they're finished nursing, although that doesn't usually happen to larger busted women. i can still dream. but other than that, i'm perfectly content!
so i guess very soon i'll start to introduce a third meal to miss lucia... thus making me that much closer to her becoming more of a little girl and less of a baby. i think that is my biggest hesitation. it's just one more step to her growing up.
as with every new step in mommy and babyhood, the food thing has been easy and we've just adapted. she eats cereal and fruit in the morning and cereal, fruit and two veggies in the evening. today jane asked me when i was going to start feeding her a lunchtime meal. hmmmm, i hadn't thought of it i said. but now i'm thinking of it and i'm wondering when do i start?
she seems totally content right now and not overly hungry at all. she's very well nourished and i don't want to push anything. then again, she was fine exclusively nursing as well. sure she curiously grabbed for my cups when i would drink or stared while i ate, but what inquisitive baby doesn't?
i guess i worry about stuffing her by adding another meal, but at the same time, i'm pretty sure it's about time i can. i also want to ensure she's getting most of her nutrition from my milk until she's a year old.
truth be told, i'd still only be nursing if i could. i like it that much and find it not a burden at all. i admit i do yearn for the day when i can wear a nice bra again, not a snap down nurser. and i really really hope i'm one of the women that loses a couple sizes when they're finished nursing, although that doesn't usually happen to larger busted women. i can still dream. but other than that, i'm perfectly content!
so i guess very soon i'll start to introduce a third meal to miss lucia... thus making me that much closer to her becoming more of a little girl and less of a baby. i think that is my biggest hesitation. it's just one more step to her growing up.
Monday, March 2, 2009
pictures
i've noticed that my photo taking of lu has slowed down considerably. i took note of this fact over the weekend when i realized i had many awesome photo opportunities, but i missed out on them.
friday lu had a play date with miss reesie and logi moon. i am so bummed that none of us took pix of the kids. i video taped a couple minutes but ended up becoming side tracked because logan started climbing onto my thighs to watch the filming on the screen of my camera.
sunday nola sunshine came over and after the few hours we spent together, both amy and i commented how we were bummed because we didn't take any pictures of the exchange. the girls played so well together and shared remote controls like pros. (don't know what the deal is with remotes, phones, etc. but kids love em!)
i was bummed because i love pictures and documenting lucia's days. i found myself taking so many more when she was smaller and just born. i realized though, it's not that i'm not just as in awe of her as when she was tiny, but rather it's because she no longer lays still for pictures. she steamrolls, pitches fits, and falls backwards when sitting up. not to mention, add a couple more kids into the mix and it's absolute chaos. how can any of us moms take the photos we want to when we can barely hold a conversation in the midst of the kid craziness!
i have however found myself video taping much more the past month or so than i did in the beginning. my mom kept telling me i should tape more and i would brush her off. "you'll regret it" she said, and i would tell her "she just lays there, what am i going to tape?" i thought i needed action to turn the camera on. now i realize there was so much beauty in her "just laying there" and guess what, i regret not capturing it on my video camera. so now i keep it out so i can start it up on a whim, and capture the cute moments, from her yelling, to reaching for bailey, to pooping and grunting!
i'm amazed at how much she's changed over the past week. from barely rolling over last week, now she is front to back, back to front, doing complete 180's in her crib (we had to lower it). it's awesome, but i hate it at the same time. to quote ben folds "life flies by in seconds" and even more so when measuring your life and time in baby years. lucia's already 7.5 months. i feel like she was just growing inside me and now she is this feisty little person. i have commented before that i wish god allowed our babies to be babies for a bit longer, but i also realize that there is a reason they grow so fast. their growth teaches us to stop and cherish the little things. i never knew how thrilling it would be to experience your own child reaching her arms to you to pick her up, or how amazing a little head resting on your shoulder would feel. how funny it would be to hear your child yell at you, or communicate in her own little way. how hard trav and i would crack up to look in her crib to see her flipped onto her tummy, head in the air like a little snapping turtle. or how happy i would be to see a big poop in her diapers, to know that she must feel so good to release that! babies teach us to pay attention to the little things, to be thankful for the tiny wonders of our every day. believe what you will, but god has a plan and i'm so happy to be a part of it.
friday lu had a play date with miss reesie and logi moon. i am so bummed that none of us took pix of the kids. i video taped a couple minutes but ended up becoming side tracked because logan started climbing onto my thighs to watch the filming on the screen of my camera.
sunday nola sunshine came over and after the few hours we spent together, both amy and i commented how we were bummed because we didn't take any pictures of the exchange. the girls played so well together and shared remote controls like pros. (don't know what the deal is with remotes, phones, etc. but kids love em!)
i was bummed because i love pictures and documenting lucia's days. i found myself taking so many more when she was smaller and just born. i realized though, it's not that i'm not just as in awe of her as when she was tiny, but rather it's because she no longer lays still for pictures. she steamrolls, pitches fits, and falls backwards when sitting up. not to mention, add a couple more kids into the mix and it's absolute chaos. how can any of us moms take the photos we want to when we can barely hold a conversation in the midst of the kid craziness!
i have however found myself video taping much more the past month or so than i did in the beginning. my mom kept telling me i should tape more and i would brush her off. "you'll regret it" she said, and i would tell her "she just lays there, what am i going to tape?" i thought i needed action to turn the camera on. now i realize there was so much beauty in her "just laying there" and guess what, i regret not capturing it on my video camera. so now i keep it out so i can start it up on a whim, and capture the cute moments, from her yelling, to reaching for bailey, to pooping and grunting!
i'm amazed at how much she's changed over the past week. from barely rolling over last week, now she is front to back, back to front, doing complete 180's in her crib (we had to lower it). it's awesome, but i hate it at the same time. to quote ben folds "life flies by in seconds" and even more so when measuring your life and time in baby years. lucia's already 7.5 months. i feel like she was just growing inside me and now she is this feisty little person. i have commented before that i wish god allowed our babies to be babies for a bit longer, but i also realize that there is a reason they grow so fast. their growth teaches us to stop and cherish the little things. i never knew how thrilling it would be to experience your own child reaching her arms to you to pick her up, or how amazing a little head resting on your shoulder would feel. how funny it would be to hear your child yell at you, or communicate in her own little way. how hard trav and i would crack up to look in her crib to see her flipped onto her tummy, head in the air like a little snapping turtle. or how happy i would be to see a big poop in her diapers, to know that she must feel so good to release that! babies teach us to pay attention to the little things, to be thankful for the tiny wonders of our every day. believe what you will, but god has a plan and i'm so happy to be a part of it.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
4 times
i think lu's crabbiness had to do with the fact she did indeed have to poop. four times in fact.
she's found her voice
if you recall, i recently wrote that lu is rarely fussy. well, in the past couple of days, she's turned into a royal crab! i owe this in part to her finding her voice.
lucia, my little sweetheart has learned to yell. directly at me. it's absurd. she'll do it and recognize it and stare at me with eyes wide open awaiting my response. i tell her "hey, that's not nice," and sometimes i'll yell back and mimic her. that only gets her going more. it's funny and dare i say super cute, however, i know it won't be cute in a few months when she really knows what she is doing!
although everyone has been telling me matter of factly "oh she's teething" for about 6 months, i think teeth might truly be on the horizon. she's gumming a lot and drooling and overall doesn't seem to be very comfortable. i feel her gums every day awaiting a sharp little shark tooth to cut my finger with every swoop, but so far i've found nothing.
i attribute her recent crabbing to both her love for yelling and perhaps the onset of teeth. maybe i'm wrong. it's either that, or she has to poop. we'll see!
lucia, my little sweetheart has learned to yell. directly at me. it's absurd. she'll do it and recognize it and stare at me with eyes wide open awaiting my response. i tell her "hey, that's not nice," and sometimes i'll yell back and mimic her. that only gets her going more. it's funny and dare i say super cute, however, i know it won't be cute in a few months when she really knows what she is doing!
although everyone has been telling me matter of factly "oh she's teething" for about 6 months, i think teeth might truly be on the horizon. she's gumming a lot and drooling and overall doesn't seem to be very comfortable. i feel her gums every day awaiting a sharp little shark tooth to cut my finger with every swoop, but so far i've found nothing.
i attribute her recent crabbing to both her love for yelling and perhaps the onset of teeth. maybe i'm wrong. it's either that, or she has to poop. we'll see!
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